Midnight Moon
by arianem
Summary: Midnight Moon is a combination of New Moon and Eclipse The plot of both minus the whining of new moon and the 60% filler of eclipse. Please review since that is the whole reason i put it up here. Rated T, just in case. More Jacob than the original.
1. Preface

The black haired man drummed his fingers on the wooden arm of his grand chair. The high collared, black doublet and jerkin that he wore contrasted harshly with his death pale skin but he didn't seem to care, if he even noticed. Nor did the man standing before him.

"So. You still plan to leave us, then."

The other shook his blonde head. "Yes, I'm afraid so."

The black haired one frowned slightly and said nothing.

"It's not as though you need me here," protested the blonde gently, "I've never truly fit in here anyway."

"Ah. So you have been chased away by our eating habits. I warn you, will encounter them everywhere you go."

"I know. That's not the only reason I'm leaving – certainly not the main one. I want to see the world. Maybe make a difference. What good is eternity when you don't do anything with it?"

"But we have done something with it! We have made a difference! See what we have done here! You are a part of that."

"I know it makes a difference. My worry is that the difference might not be positive."

"Friend -"

"I don't want to debate now. I'm going to the Americas. I'll become a doctor there. I'll try to redeem the darker parts of my nature."

"Of all of us, your nature is the least in need of redemption. What you do is beyond the control of even my brothers and I. But it is beyond the capabilities of most of our kind. You cannot hate us for that."

"I do not hate you. But I still do not wish to stay."

"I don't think I will ever come to understand your obsession with these humans. We hide from them, denying ourselves to preserve their ignorance, yet your actions are driven by some kind of love or fascination."

"That is where you and I differ. You think of humans as sheep – dangerous sheep, but still, they are nothing more to you than food. Yet you seem to have forgotten that they are us. We were once of their race. Do you feel no empathy to your victims? Do their screams mean nothing? It amazes me that you conscience had not collapsed with the weight of the wrongs you have piled atop it!"

"My conscience does not suffer because I am called to something higher than the preservation of a race that has done more to damage this world than it ever did to help it." His voice was harsh and the fair haired man could tell that the last remark had stung.

"We are no better."

"We will survive long after their race has turned to dust!"

The blonde haired man held up hand. "Peace, Arrigo. I did not mean to fight."

The other sighed and said, "I should not have lost my temper. After three hundred years you would at least expect that much. I'm sorry."

"I should going," said the first.

The other remained silent for a long moment, continuing his constant drumming. "Would you like me to call the others?"

"No. I don't want any ceremony. Besides. I don't want to disturb Marco from his mourning. Adelina was a great loss."

"As you wish." He sighed. "Go now."

The man nodded and started off towards the heavy wooden doors at the end of the room.

"Carlisle?"

He turned back, listening for the seated man's next words.

"Come back some time. I shall miss your company."

"**Perhaps I shall," said Carlisle before continuing towards the door.**


	2. Party

My eyes flitted back and forth beneath closed eyelids but I wasn't dreaming. I was thinking about one thing: a number. Thrice six and twice nine, one more than seventeen. Today was my birthday. Most would consider it an accomplishment or at the very least, something to be celebrated. I spent much of my time with people who had already passed their first century and in comparison with that, my year was inconsequential.

Except for one difference that I couldn't seem to get out of my head. I was aging. They weren't. With every year that passed, I grew one step closer to the end. I don't know why this bothered me. Just months before, I would have been plenty happy about a birthday, not even considering what it implied. Death was simply an unavoidable – albeit unpleasant – fact of life that I knew I would one day have to face. I supposed the difference was that now their was a presented alternative.

There were so many new opportunities when one was in love with a vampire – not always better, but different. Immortality could be one of them, if said vampire were willing. I sighed. Edward spoke so often of how he did want me to be giving up anything, how he didn't want to share his curse, but it wouldn't be a curse if I had someone to share it with, and I did.

That same person was probably waiting for me even as I lay there debating whether or not to pleased that I was eighteen, the purpose of my existence and, most importantly, whether or not I really wanted to go to school today. I eventually decided that seeing my various friends would be worth the effort of pulling myself out of my warm, cozy bed and that, despite the fact that it was my birthday, I wouldn't be able to get away with staying home just because I felt like it.

I slipped into some jeans and a sweater with a wide neckline that stretched from shoulder to shoulder. I tugged the fabric straight as I examined myself on the mirror by my bedroom door. I had to admit I looked nice. The top had been a gift from Alice who, much as she was was teased about it by the rest of her adopted family, really did have good fashion sense. It was a rich, soft red that brought out the rosy tones in my skin and set of the rust-coloured undertones in my semi-straight brown hair.

Satisfied that I looked more or less the way an eighteen year old should, I went down stairs, stepping into my running shoes as I exited the room. My dad was waiting for me at the kitchen table with two, bright, neatly wrapped parcels between his plate and mine.

"Aw, Dad, you didn't have to get me anything!"

"No," he said, rising to wrap me up in a tight embrace, "but I did anyway. Happy birthday, kid."

I smiled and sat down at the table, not sure whether I was happier about the waffles on my plate or the presents from my parents.

"The blue one's from your mom. She told me to tell you that she hopes you like it and that her and Phil sent you their love."

I smiled and opened the gifts, pleased, when I did, to discover a scrapbook and a camera. Clearly my parents had collaborated. I thanked him and in return, he wished me luck at school and headed off to work. I glanced at the clock and realized I didn't have much time before I had to leave as well. I smiled as I realized that my dad must have decided to wait for me to get up so that he could wish me happy birthday even though it meant he would be late for work. I loved my dad.

With a sigh, I swept my bag of the floor by the table and stepped out the door. There was Edward, just as I had expected, standing by his familiar Volvo with a bouquet of flowers in one hand. As I appeared, he strode forward and bestowed them on me dramatically with a bow, and then he swept me off me feet, and kissed my face, leaving no part untouched. Finally he let me up and though I gasped for breath, a smile was growing on my pale face.

"Happy birthday," he whispered into my ear. He pulled me gently toward the car and helped me inside so that I wouldn't crush my flowers. As he drove, I buried my face in the roses, breathing in their sweet scent that seemed to hold an echo of Edward's. The drive was silent but Edward's hand rested on mine the whole time and that left nothing that need to be said. I was content – more than content, I was blissful, my earlier worries chased away by the happy present.

Alice was waiting for us in the school parking lot, Jasper by her side. She gave me a hug as I got out, careful not to damage the delicate roses that I still had in my hand for lack of a better place to put them. I guessed they would simply have to wait for me in my locker and wilt. I sighed at losing them so soon both because they were beautiful and because they reminded me of Edward in their scent and their purpose.

"Happy birthday," Alice said sweetly, her voice high and ringing. Jasper made did not approach, nor did he say anything, but this was usual for him. He was rather reserved most of the time, partly because of his personality and partly because it was necessary to keep the people around him safe. I knew nothing of his history save that it had been quite violent and that he had always held himself to the same discipline he did now. Once he had feasted on the blood of humans regularly; now he restricted himself to only the blood of animals who, though still sentient, had less to lose.

"Bella, would you be willing to come over to our house tonight so that we can have a party?" Alice asked, her eyes lighting up with hope.

"I can't. I'm going to Jess's house for cake and a movie. And chips. And popcorn. And maybe some chocolate ice cream."

If Alice could have cried, her wide, dark brown eyes would have been filling up with water. "Are you sure you can't come?"

"I have to go to work after that. I'm sorry, Alice. I wish I could go, too."

"Tell, you what," said Alice, her eyes brightening once more, "I'll talk to Mrs. Newton while you're having your first party and I'll see if I can't get you the night off."

"Alice -"

"Don't worry. I don't mind and I'm sure Mrs. Newton won't either. She'll probably just have you switching shifts so you're not even missing any work."

"Alright. As long as you don't mind."

"I don't. So you'll be coming?"

At last, Edward, who had remained silent throughout the entire exchange with an amused look on his face, said, "If you're alright with it, I can pick you up from your house or Jessica's once you are finished."

"It had better be Jess's. She was planning to drive my down to the Newtons' store but since I'm not going, you might as well just pick me up from her house."

"Alright. When would you like me to come?"

"We'll probably be done around five."

"Perfect!" said Alice before I could say anything else, "so we'll have our party at six thirty. Now it's time for class so we should go." Alice started off in the direction of building two, pulling Jasper behind her. Edward put an arm around my waist and gestured for me to go with him towards the building where we had our first class. I had been pleased, at the beginning of this school year, to discover that Edward and I shared a number of classes.

He sat next to me in trigonometry, somehow managing to at least look like he was completely focused on what the teacher was saying while I seemed unable to keep my eyes off of Edward's interested face. I didn't know why today was so different. Beautiful as he was, I was usually able to concentrate. Whatever the reason I didn't get much work done that morning.

At lunch, I sat between Angela and Edward, forming a gray area between the vampires and the humans. Since Rosalie and Emmet, the more unnerving of the five siblings, graduated, Alice, Jasper, and Edward had come to join my group of friends. Their integration with the humans hadn't gone much farther than introductions as yet, but I had hope that some of the stiffness that the humans assumed around the Cullens would dissipate over the rest of the school year. It would be nice not to have to choose between two lives, as I did tonight.

A few minutes before we had to leave for class, Jessica approached me, rather more timidly than usual, and said, "So, Bella, are we still on for tonight."

I smiled. "Definitely. But you don't have to drive me to work after. Edward's taking me to a party after and he'll just pick me up from there."

"Oh. Okay," Jess said. She smiled, frowned, opened her mouth, closed it, glanced at Edward, then went back to her seat. I sighed. The integration would definitely take a while.

The rest of the afternoon passed more or less uneventfully, partly because I was anxiously anticipating the events to come and wasn't really paying attention to the work. Edward was not in my last class which would normally have meant I could focus a little better – even if it meant I enjoyed the class less – but in his absence, my mind returned to the depressing concepts that I had been considering earlier that morning. The boy sitting next to me had to tell me when class was over because I was so out of it that I hadn't noticed the bell ring.

Jess was waiting by my lockers when I got there. A few yards down the hall, Angela was putting her things in her locker. Realizing that I was a few seconds behind the rest of the party, I hurriedly disposed of my things and was just slipping into my jacket when I felt an ice cold touch on my shoulder. My skin tingled in response to the contact, both because of the cold, and because I knew whose hand had brushed my arm.

I turned.

"Bella, love, have fun. I'll pick you up when you're finished." Edward smiled and I reached for him to draw him towards me. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek, pulling me into an embrace. I didn't want to disengage myself from his arms. Despite his freezing skin, as hard as ice, I felt as though his shoulders had been designed for me to rest my head on.

Someone cleared their throat behind me and reluctantly, I pulled away from Edward and turned to face whoever it was.

"Um, Bella," said Jess timidly – for her, "We have to get going. Sorry, uh, Eddie, but Bella's got somewhere to be." Jess was the only person whom I had ever heard call Edward 'Eddie'. While she hadn't exactly accepted Edward into our... clique didn't seem like quite the right word but it was the only one that came to mind right now, but she was the most upfront person with him – excepting myself and his family, that was.

"Of course," said Edward, his rich voice soft. "Just promise me you'll never do anything careless while i'm gone."

"I promise," I said, "As long as you promise me you'll always be there for me to come back to."

"I'll never leave you," he assured me.

Jess grabbed my arm and started pulling me toward the end of the hall. I stumbled backward, trying to keep my eyes on Edward's face, but after a moment I gave up. Jess tugged my arm again and I slapped her hand playfully before turning to walk beside her. Angela joined us in the parking lot and we all piled into Jess' green Mercedes.

On the way to her house, we stopped at a grocery store and picked up some munchies, including, as I had said to Edward earlier, cake, chocolate ice cream, popcorn, and a big bag of barbecue chips. We all chipped in and by the time we left, we had three heavy bags of party goodies.

We unloaded them when we got to the house and we all piled onto the couch in Jessica's living room, directly across from her flat screen.

All too soon, it was five o' clock, the various platters, bowls, bottles were empty, and the end credits of the movie were rolling across the screen. I was lying across the couch with my head on Angela's knees and an empty bowl on my lap, my fingers searching for any remaining crumbs, when the doorbell rang. Edward had arrived to take me away.

With a sigh, I disentangled myself from the various limbs and blankets that were trying to keep me from leaving. If it had been anyone else at the door, I would have hidden from their sight beneath the blankets, as Jess encouraged me to, but much as I liked my friends, nothing would keep me away from him.

We exchanged mournful goodbyes, made insane by the sugar that we had consumed earlier that evening, and then Edward gently pulled me away toward his waiting car. On the drive to Edward's house, neither of us said anything. I just rested my head on his shoulder and wove my fingers around his ice cold arm. Every now and then, we would glance at each other and smile. With that, no other communication seemed necessary.

Soon, a faint light began to play around the edges of my senses and I looked carefully into the increasing darkness to find it's source. Shortly, I saw the rows of white Christmas lights and pale flowers that lined the long road to the Cullen's house. I smiled much as my mind seemed to want to dwell on the negative aspects of this day, I had to admit that this was nice.

I looked at Edward and, seeming to sense my eyes on him, he turned. Despite the long summer months that we had spent together, I still was not entirely used to the extent of his abilities. I frowned ever so slightly.

"I know you're not incredibly excited about this but try to enjoy yourself," Edward whispered, "we all did our best to make it fun for you." Clearly he had misunderstood my expression.

"I'll try," I said, grinning, "but no guarantees."

He sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment. "Well, that's all I can ask, I suppose."

We stopped in front of the house and as Edward helped me out of his car, I realized that the Cullens – probably Alice, mostly – hadn't stopped with the drive. The front of the house, the steps, the door, and even a few of the nearby trees were sparsely covered with pastel flowers and white. I shrunk against Edward, feeling slightly intimidated.

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

He nodded.

"Wow. You guys really went all out."

He shrugged. "It not so hard with this many hands, especially when they move as fast as ours do, though I have to admit that the two extra pairs did help."

I looked at him quizzically. "Who came to help?"

"Rosalie and Emmett came back from Africa."

"I got the impression Rosalie wouldn't do anything for me, even if doing nothing would have a negative impact on her."

"We've been working on that. She promises to be civil, at the least. Besides, Emmett missed you."

I had to admit that I missed Emmett too, though he was still a little intimidating. As for Rosalie... Rosalie mainly made me nervous. At least she had promised to be nice – or rather, civil; the two were not exactly synonymous.

"Come on," said Edward gently, and he led me into the house.

Rosalie sat, very close against Emmett, on the wide sectional, facing the TV. Jasper sat with Carlisle and Esme, on the other end of the sectional, facing towards the door. Alice stood by the door and wrapped her arms around me tightly as I entered.

"Happy birthday," she said sweetly. There followed a loud chorus of happy birthday, though Rosalie remained silent, her jaw working. I stood there awkwardly until they had finished and then led Edward over to the modern fainting couch that occupied the space by Alice's chair. On the stainless steel and glass coffee table in the center of the room, a white and pink cake reading _Happy Birthday Bella _sat next to a knife and a stack of crystal plates. Beside that was a pile of silver wrapped presents.

"Open mine first!" Alice said, bouncing excitedly in her seat.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Open which ever one you wish. Alice is just a little overexcited."

In reply Alice stuck her out her tongue.

"It's okay," I said quickly, "I'll open hers first."

Alice smiled as I reached from the package with her name written in graceful loops. As was my custom, I peeled away the tape, piece by piece, careful not to rip the delicate paper. Alice's bouncing continued and she got so close to edge of her seat that I feared she would fall off. Fortunately, I finished unwrapping the present before she could.

"Dracula," I said, "how appropriate."

"You haven't read it before, have you?" she asked, suddenly anxious.

I shook my head. "No," I assured her. I tucked the book beside me, folding up the paper and placing it on the coffee table. I opened Rosalie's present next and thanked her politely for the set of amber jewelry she had gotten for me. Carlisle and Esme gave me a voucher for plane tickets to Jacksonville, where my mother was currently living with her new husband Phil. The voucher was for two people so I assumed that I was to take Edward with me.

"Are you sure you won't mind?" I asked, my excitement at seeing my mom, somewhat tempered by the knowledge that Edward would be cramped inside all day since he was unable to go out in the sun.

"I'm sure I don't mind," he said, patting my hand reassuringly.

There were still two presents left unopened on the table. I reached for the smaller which revealed itself to be from Edward. "I hope you didn't spend insane amounts of money on this," I told him.

"Don't worry, I didn't."

"Yeah, well, you and I have different ideas about what constitutes insane when it comes to money."

He chuckled. "Just open it."

I did and smiled as I saw a CD case, a picture of Edward and me at last year's prom as it's cover. I looked up at Edward questioningly and he took the case from me and tossed it to jasper, the closest to the stereo in the corner. He smiled and inserted the disk and soon I heard sweet music rolling out of the speakers. I recognized it almost immediately as my lullaby.

I sat still and silent, not wanting to disturb the melody with words. By the time the song ended, tears were rolling happily down my cheeks. Emmett chuckled and I blushed pressing my face into Edward's shoulder to hide my embarrassment.

"Come on," called Emmett, "open Jasper's and mine."

As with the other parcels, I carefully removed the tape and the paper to reveal a plain, brown, cardboard box beneath. "Wow, thanks," I said, "I've always wanted a box!"

Emmett laughed and Jasper smiled faintly. "Yeah," said Emmett, "It gets better. Why don't you look at what's inside."

I pulled at the top and sides and eventually realized that they were taped down with thick packaging tape. Noticing my lack of proper package opening utensils, Edward got to his feet and headed in the direction of the kitchen, presumably to get me a knife. No sooner had he disappeared then I thought of a better solution and I snagged the knife from of the table. I thought I heard Alice whisper Edward's name but it was so quiet I couldn't be sure. I slid it between the layers of the box. I pulled it through the tape and gasped weakly as the knife continued along the box to bite deeply into the flesh between my thumb and forefinger.

Numbly, I pulled the knife out and I stared, dumbfounded, at the hot, red blood running across my hand to drip on the cold, white floor.


	3. Careless

Something was coming towards me, too fast for me to follow. It looked very much like Edward, but it couldn't be. Edward's eyes were full of life and he would not attack me. I watched, still uncomprehending, as Jasper suddenly appeared in front of me, halting Edward's progress more surely than would a brick wall. Rosalie was beside him, seemingly still trying to decide what to do. Behind her, the shards of the glass coffee table hit the floor and finally, I realized what was happening.

"Edward," I cried softly in a mix of fear, hope, and despair. Fear for my life and the lives of those around me, hope that he would see what was happening and stop, and despair that neither fear nor hope would help me now.

As I said his name, Edward's face softened slightly, a small flicker of sanity returning to his burning eyes. In that moment, Rosalie planted a strong kick in Edward's gut, at the same time pushing me away from him – and into the pile of broken glass. I think I screamed as new red flowers bloomed through the pale fabric of my blue shirt. Still, I didn't take my focus away from Edward. I wasn't out of danger yet.

Edward was on his feet again, snarling and snapping his teeth at Jasper and Rosalie, joined now by Alice, Emmett, and Esme. Carlisle's eyes flicked between me and Edward. I flinched as Edward almost broke out of Emmett's iron grasp, then cried out as the movement reminded me of the cuts along my hands and arms.

Edward ceased to move and for a moment I thought him dead – or whatever it was you called a vampire who had ceased to function – but then he took a step back. His chest was still, no longer pumping air in and out of his system; his eyes seemed to cool from their burning rage. Weakly I called his name once more. He reached to me again, but now it was despair, not hunger that moved him. Then he turned and was gone out the wide front door.

I called after him again and again, though my voice grew weak and hoarse. One by one, the vampires left until only Carlisle, Esme, and Alice remained. Alice, usually so cheerful, stayed away from me while Esme knelt near me and murmured to me in a soothing voice. Though I was completely unaware of what she was saying, I eventually calmed, either because of her voice, or from blood loss, or both. Carlisle was by my other side, one hand clamped firmly around my arm above the cut and the other carefully but quickly pulling shards of glass out.

"Bella." I hadn't realized that Esme had stopped talking until Carlisle spoke, his voice as soft and gentle as hers had been. "Bella,"he continued, his hands never ceasing in their work,"you're going to need stitches. I have the materials to do that here or I can take you to the hospital. Which would you prefer?"

I blinked, struggling to focus on what he was saying.

"Bella, here or the hospital?"

"Here," I mumbled, wondering why I was finding it so hard to do anything . The room seemed to spin around me and I closed my eyes, letting my mind drift. My injuries had been much worse after my last vampire attack, yet I hadn't felt lost as I did now, until much later. I supposed it was because the cold from the venom had held me together. It had also suppressed my roiling stomach; now, I was so nauseous that I was finding it difficult to breathe.

I tried to focus on Carlisle's ice cold hands, hoping that they would work the same way that the venom had, but instead, it brought my attention back to the aching and burning all along my arms.

"Alright." I thought that was Carlisle but I wasn't sure. "This one's definitely going to need stitches. Alice, get a towel, Esme, we should move her to the kitchen table before we start."

And then I was being lifted. I was reminded of the day that Edward had carried me, much as his parents did now, to the nurse's office after I had all but fainted in biology. But I hadn't been bleeding, then, and he had been in control. Now he was running through the night, abandoning his home and family so that I would be safe. As much as I assured myself that he would be found eventually, or come back on his own, I couldn't convince myself that things would be the same between us.

Much as I loved him, there was a fine line between trust and carelessness and both of us would be overcareful not to cross it again.

I winced as I felt a prick on my arm and I looked over to see a needle. Shortly after that, the ache in my arm faded so I guessed it to be an anesthetic.

I tried not to pay attention to what Carlisle was doing – an action that was made easier by the fact that I couldn't feel anything in my arm. Esme was harder to ignore as she pulled the glass out of my other arm. Eventually, I distracted myself with conversation.

"Carlisle, will Edward come back?"

He sighed. "I don't know. He has left before, sometimes for years at a time. I expect he is very upset with himself right now, so unless one of us manages to convince him to do otherwise, I expect he won't be back for at least a day or two. You are very important to him."

I was silent for a long moment as I digested that. "Is it still hard for you? To control yourself, I mean."

"Sometimes. Ignoring it is just natural at this point."

"Why did you decide to become a doctor, since it's so hard for you to control yourself around blood – at least at first."

"Edward has told you something of my history, yes?"

"A little."

"I was very concerned about the effects of my change – from a theological standpoint. You have to understand, religion was an integral part of most people's lives. Vampires were known to be soulless creatures – damned, if you will. I spent a lot of time contemplating where I stood with the almighty. After I while, I decided I had as much chance of anyone else of reaching heaven. I'd just have to work a little harder. So becoming a physicker started as a struggle towards redemption I suppose."

I had my head turned away from him so I caught the small smile that Esme flashed in his direction.

"After a few years, and more contemplation, I'd decided that we belonged to god as much as any creatures and he had died for all our sins. By that point though, I realized how much I enjoyed what I was doing."

"How long have you been a doctor?"

"I haven't actually been a certified doctor for that long and I do have to renew my qualifications every now and then, but I've been healing for almost three centuries."

"And that's how you met Edward," I said.

"Yes. You know, I had been considering making a companion m=for myself for quite some time, but I was reluctant to force my nature on whomever happened to be best suited for it. It was his mother who, in the end, convinced me. She was delirious with fever but she saw me, and I could almost see her fight to focus. She said 'you must save my son. You must do for him what others cannot.' I was sure at that moment that she knew what I was – knew what I would have to do to save her son. I got no chance to ask her about it because then, seeming satisfied that she had saved her boy, she slipped back into delirium and shortly after that, went into a coma.

"It was her words that suggested to me that there was a possible 'win-win situation'. I change someone and create a family, without dooming anyone to anything but rather, I would be saving them. Of course, there are still some who, even when the alternative was death, would rather I had left them alone."

He didn't say anything more, but I knew who he meant. "Rosalie," I said quietly.

He sighed and nodded.

"Do you ever have any regrets?"

"About changing them? No. I have sometimes wondered if the better choice might have been to leave them, but I have never truly wished that I had. Perhaps that is simply selfishness."

I was silent for a long moment. Then I said, "Carlisle, will you change me?"

He didn't seem to react to that at all; there was no surprise in his voice and his hands continued to work on my arm. "I was wondering how long it would be before you asked me that."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a logical idea to come up with after spending so much time with us. Unfortunately, I don't think you've thought your plan all the way through. Have you thought what you'll be giving up?You'll have to give up all your human relationships, including your parents. You won't be able to form new ones. Not to mention the difficulties that come with the change."

"That still doesn't answer my question," I said, less firmly.

Carlisle smiled. "No. No I won't change you."

I sighed.

"Bella, we're done," said Esme softly from beside my elbow. "We can take you home now."

"Do I have to go home?" I asked, trying to move my numb arms.

Esme smiled. "After what happened, it's probably a good idea. I can get you a change of clothes and you can go home and sleep it off."

I shook my head, partly to clear it and partly to show that I disagreed with Esme's plan. "No," I said. "I want to stay, and eat my cake, use my presents, and see what Jasper and Emmet got me -" My voice rose slowly as I spoke until Esme laid an ice cold hand on my arm.

"Shh," she murmured soothingly, "you don't have to go home right now. You can stay and play with your presents and eat cake." Her voice was so soft and calm that I didn't even mind the condescending edge her words took.

Alice, whom I hadn't noticed, spoke up from the other room. "Well, I've cleaned up the glass and I think at least one of the couches survived."

I winced slightly at her words. "I'm sorry! I should have been more careful."

"Don't worry about it, Bella. We'll just have to be more careful next time."

"Next time?" I asked, getting stiffly to my feet. Carlisle kept his hand on my arm lest I fall and I was grateful for it.

"Bella, chill," said Alice, her voice regaining some of its usual cheerful humour now that most of the blood had been cleaned up. "You can open Jasper's present – or I can if you don't think you can manage it – and Esme can go get a new cake. The original one has too much blood and glass to be safe to eat."

"I'm sorry," I said, deflating slightly.

"Don't worry about it," Alice said again. "Come on, Let's see what Jaz got you." Her voice softened as she said her lover's name.

I sighed. "Okay," I said. I walked into the living room – slowly because of the cuts on my arms and legs.

As it turned out, Alice was right about the couches. I said down on the sectional and she brought over the various presents, open and otherwise.

As it turned out, Emmett and Jasper had gotten me a new stereo for my truck. I leaned my head out the window and thanked them as loudly as I could,hoping they'd be able to hear. Then Alice pulled me away up the stairs to the room she shared with Jasper. She helped me into some new clothes – an earthy green top that buttoned down one arm and some jeans – and carefully placed the tasteful amber necklace and earrings into their proper place. I wanted to turn to the mirror and see what I looked like but she refused.

"I'm not done yet."

"What are you planning to do?" I asked, confused.

"Aren't makeovers typical at teenage girls' birthday parties?"

I snorted. "You don't actually care either way, you just wanted an excuse to play dress-up," I accused.

She shrugged. "True."

We giggled and she proceeded to decorate me with various makeup products and hair clips until I was practically bursting to see what I looked like. When Alice finally did turn me around, I was somewhat taken aback.

I had never been one for spending much time on looks but if Alice kept doing stuff like this, I might end up changing my mind. I had to admit that Alice was a genius with hair and makeup. I hadn't realized I could look like this and I liked it more than I thought I would.

The makeup was barely noticeable, simply adding highlights to my eyes and skin and giving me some colour in my lips. My hair was pulled back and held with a clasp that was almost the same colour as the jewelry that Rosalie had given me which looked rather elegant against the green of my top. I smiled.

"Do you like it?" asked Alice.

"It's great," I said. I got up and hugged her and as I did, I noticed the time on the clock on her wall. It was time for me to go.

Seeming to read my thoughts, Alice said, "I can take you home now, if you want.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," I said.

Together, we went downstairs and then, stopping quickly for some cake, out into the night. I stopped. It wasn't until then that I fully realized I wouldn't be saying goodnight to Edward. We weren't taking his car, he wasn't driving me home, he wasn't coming to see me later.

"Alice, when is Edward going to come back?"

She tossed my things into a blue car, presumably hers. She wasn't smiling when she looked back at me. "I don't know, she said. "I really don't know.


	4. Repercussions

The next morning, I felt horrible. My head ached, my arms ached, and my heart ached. I knew it wasn't particularly healthy but I couldn't help but wallow in self pity. I had an excuse – it was a heck of birthday present I'd gotten, after all. Who wouldn't want to be attacked by the one they loved and then have that same person run away, possibly never to be seen again. Wasn't that everyone's dream?

I groaned and rolled over. After what had happened yesterday, I would give anything not to have to go to school. With Edward gone, I would be constantly worrying about him instead of focusing on my work I only hoped that I didn't get called on to answer any questions.

I grabbed some clothes from a pile by my bed and slipped into them. They were the ones I'd worn home yesterday but no one but Alice knew that and she wouldn't tell. Besides, it gave me inspiration to try to reproduce the look she'd given me last night. I smiled and went over to the window, pulling aside the curtain.

My shoulders slumped. I wouldn't be seeing Alice today, or Jasper. They ever came out when it was sunny. Oh well.

I went to the bathroom any way and played around with my hair until it was pulled back from my face and then applied some of my sparse makeup in the hopes of reproducing the look Alice had given me last night. Instead of the warm glow I'd been going for, I merely looked like a girl who'd put on some eyeshadow and lip gloss. I sighed. I did look nice, even if it hadn't been the look I was going for.

I went down stairs to find that my father had already left. It was time for me to leave, as well. I'd lost track of the time.

I slipped into my red truck, unused for so long, and headed off to school.

It wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. The comments from my friends ranged from belated 'happy birthdays', to compliments on my outfit, to jibes about me being the only person who could fall on a glass coffee table, smash it, and cut myself up in the process. These last were followed by hasty apologies when my lower lip quivered in mock sadness.

All in all, the day wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be though the Cullens' absence stuck like a barb in my mind.

The next day was the same. It was just as bright and just as lonely. I was anxious to get news of Edward but I knew that the Cullens couldn't come out in the sun. It was two dangerous for them.

I had more hope on the third day. Thick clouds were rolling in from the east and already there was a thin layer of clouds. All the same, when I got to school, nothing. I told myself that I was just getting impatient. They would come when it was safe. Maybe by then, Edward would have calmed down. That cheered me up some but it wasn't enough to calm my anxiety.

On Friday, I was relieved to see rain pouring down outside my window,, it was probably the one circumstance when I would be glad rather than pessimistic but I had reason. I would see Alice today, and maybe, just maybe, Edward. He wasn't in any of my classes but I kept hoping until I got to the cafeteria. They weren't there.

I felt as though I had been punched in the chest. What could be keeping them away? They couldn't be hiding from the sun still. Perhaps they had taken the opportunity presented by the thunder to play some baseball. Ridiculous. They were probably hunting. That had to be it. They didn't want to lose control so they went hunting.

That should have made me feel better but I couldn't silence the nagging voice at the back of my head that said, _If they were going to hunt, why didn't they go over the past three days when they had all that free time._

"Jelly Belly, are you coming? They have lasagna today!" I looked up to see jess beckoning for me to come to where she waited in line.

"I'm coming!" I called.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I approached.

I shook myself. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

I didn't eat anything at lunch. I wasn't hungry.

On the weekend, I was hoping for something – even just a phone call – but there was nothing. Eventually I called Jess up and asked her if she knew anything. She was always the first person to know anything. I didn't know how she did it but it was like information went straight from the source to her lips in seconds. She hadn't heard anything either.

She assured me that it was probably nothing, that they had probably decided to take a prolonged camping trip. I let myself be comforted But I lay awake at night, contemplating what was going on. He had never been gone this long, except maybe when we had first met, but even then, the rest of his family had stayed behind.

On Monday, I came to school armed with a new theory – and the hope that it was wrong and I would see them, specifically Edward. Doubtless they had wanted to make Edward's appearance seem more normal by passing it off as a family trip to somewhere. They weren't there but I hadn't really expected them to be. After school, I visited Mrs. Cope and asked her if she knew anything. She said only that she wasn't sure where they were but she didn't expect them back particularly soon. That worried me. I was fine with waiting as long as I had to, but surely I deserved some warning. Surely they would communicate with me. It didn't seem fair to simply abandon me like this.

That night I asked my father if he knew anything. He frowned and sat in his chair at the table looking at me with a concerned expression on his face. He was silent for a long moment and then he said, "Look, Bells, I didn't want to tell you this – seeing as how close you were and all – but..." he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and let out a puff of air. "The Cullens left – they moved away. Carlisle got a job offer down in LA – short notice – and they had to leave right away. He said he didn't want any big goodbyes so he didn't tell many people and he asked us to keep it quiet."

I gasped and choked on the air running through my lungs. I could hardly breath – could hardly see. I swallowed heavily. "When?" I asked.

"Wednesday. Bells, didn't your, uh, Edward say anything?"

I shook my head mutely. It was so obvious. How could I not have seen? They wanted to protect me and to protect their secret – two things that were put at great risk by my interaction with them. _But that didn't matter before. _

I pushed myself away from the table numbly. My throat ached with restrained weeping and my eyes burned with unshed tears. "I'm going to bed," I choked out.

"Bells, are you sure? There's still dessert."

I shook my head. "Sorry, Dad. I'm not hungry." I started toward the stairs.

I couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't breathe. Edward was gone – probably for good – and the rest of his family with him. I had been cut off from his world as thoroughly as if I had died – more thoroughly, considering. Gone with him, was any hope I might have of immortality. Of course, what was the point of having forever without someone to share it with?

I would have shared it with Edward, if I could. I had thought he felt the same. Apparently, I was wrong. Did I mean so little to him that he would just leave without a word? I had thought that what we had was more than that, but perhaps that was simply selfishness, me turning a passing fancy into undying love. If that were the case, the fancy had passed with Edward, leaving me behind and I had never felt so alone.

_You said you'd never leave me. You lied. _I curled up on my bed and tried to drown my thoughts in tears.

It didn't work, or at least, it only worked to the extent that I fell asleep. From there, things only got worse.

I was standing in the glade where Edward had shown me the sun's effect on his skin. He stood near me, the sun turning his skin into glistening crystal. He smiled

"Edward," I called. I ran toward him.

He held out his hand and I looked down into it. It held a single rose. "Be safe," he warned me.

"As long as you stay!" I said, taking the rose and throwing my arms around him.

Behind him was a line of people: Charlie, Jessica, Mike, Alice, Renee, and other familiar faces, watching solemnly. I pulled away from him, confused.

"I'll never leave you," said Edward, and I looked down as the rose in my hand turned into a pool of blood that dripped onto the Cullens' marble floor. I'd cut myself! I pulled my hand into my chest to hide it so that he wouldn't see. I looked up at him anxiously and saw that his eyes were as red as the blood on my hand.

"Don't go," I said anxiously as he turned away from me.

"Of course," he agreed, but he continued to walk away from me.

I looked at the people behind him, glancing from face to face, trying to find someone who would help me. None of them responded. I looked back at Edward but he was gone. It was as though he'd never been.

"Come back!" I wailed, but he didn't come back. Instead,the crowd of people watching all turned and walked away, one by one. I looked around frantically but I was alone. Not a single person remained in the clearing besides me.

I collapsed onto the ground and a wind rose up around me. The wind increased until it swelled almost into a hurricane. Finally, I felt myself collapse into dust, blown away by the wind and forgotten.

I didn't want to go to school the next day. I didn't even want to get up, but it felt as though that would be giving in – giving in to mourning, giving into loss, giving in to Edward. He had taken so much of me with him when I went, but I was still here. I wouldn't give in.

I drove to school in something of a stupor, unable to truly comprehend what had happened. Jess was waiting for me as I pulled into the school parking lot, bouncing on her toes. She ran up to my truck as soon as it had stopped moving.

"Hey, Jess," I said as I got out of the car.

"Hi, Bells. Anyway, you won't believe it. I got news on the Cullens..." she trailed off. "But by the looks of things, you've already heard."

"Maybe," I said, "but tell me anyway." Perhaps she would say something that would make their actions less painful.

"Okay. So anyway, you know how my mom owns this coffee shop? Yeah? So she was there on Sunday and in walks this woman – a friend of hers or a room mate or something who she hadn't seen in, like, years. So they got talking and stuff and my mom was like, 'we should get together' and then her friend was like, 'yeah, let's have dinner'. So my parents and her went out for dinner at Landings which is this nice restaurant down in Port Angeles. They didn't take me, of course -" she rolled her eyes "- but that's okay cause I raided the freezer and had pizza and ice cream and watched movies – like Watchmen which just came out in March and it was amazing – and anyway I had fun. Well my mom told me about the dinner when she got back and it turns out that this friend is coming to work at the hospital here in Forks 'cause there was a job opening – seriously, my mom didn't even know her friend had become a doctor - and so it turns out that the Dr. Cullen got, like, this huge paying job offer down in L.A. Now I guess Carlisle doesn't like to move around a lot or something cause he said he wouldn't have taken the job if he hadn't known one of the doctors at the hospital."

Normally I would have wondered how Jessica had gotten through that whole speech without gasping for breath at the end, but now I was too focused on another, more serious matter. I bit my lip. I wondered if Carlisle's acquaintance was a real friend – doubtless a vampire like himself – or simply a cover story. I supposed it didn't really matter since it wouldn't change anything either way.

"Yeah, I heard. My dad told me last night," I said.

"Oh. Well, that sucks – I mean that they left, not that your dad told you. No wonder your so down."

I smiled weakly.

"But... didn't he tell you anything before... well, before he left? Edward, I mean."

I shook my head. "I guess he must have been in a bit of a hurry to pack." If only that were true. If that were the real reason he hadn't even bothered to say goodbye.

"Boys." Jessica rolled her eyes again. "They'll be all kinds of sweet and loving as long as they're having fun, and then the minute they're bored, they think they'll just toss you away like an old toy."

That made me angry. I wanted to defend myself and Edward. I wanted to tell her that she didn't understand how we felt about each other, even though I knew, now, that she was right. I forced a laugh. "And, no, you are not bitter! Not at all!" I teased.

She pouted at me. "Oh, come on, Bella. Mike was never serious, and neither was I." She sniffed.

I smiled, feeling a touch of true humour at our playful banter. "I'm sorry. But really, he might just not have had time. Guys are just as concerned with their looks as we girls are, they're just afraid to admit it."

Jessica glanced around and started pulling me towards the building where we had our first class. "Look, tell you what. Look, I know I've been officially single for over a month, so I almost over my mourning period, but why don't you and I go out for ice cream later and we can lament our singlehoodedness."

"I don't know."

"It'll make you feel better, believe me. If you want, we can invite Angela. I know she's perfectly happy on her own but she still makes good company."

"I don't actually have a choice, do I?"

Jessica grinned impishly. "No. But don't worry. It'll be fun."

I was saved from having to make a decision just then when the teacher cleared his throat and Jessica and I had to stop talking and turn our attention to our work. I managed to escape the class without answering Jessica simply by sneaking away while she was distracted. It wasn't that I did want to talk to her, it was just that I knew I couldn't talk to her without being forced to give her an answer and I was still of two minds about that. I had never been good at making decisions.

Fortunately I didn't have any other classes so I wouldn't have to decide until I lunch. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized how much better I felt while I was in her company until she had already disappeared behind a crowd of students. She let me take my mind of the pain that had taken a solid grasp around my heart. My tears of the night before had helped, but they had simply suppressed the pain temporarily. My heart had broken and it seemed no amount of tears would heal it.

By the time I saw Jessica and Angela at lunch, I was desperate for their company and I had decided that Jessica's idea was a good one. We eventually decided that we would take Jess's car down to Port Angeles and go to the Dairy Queen there. I didn't think I would mind the hour long drive so long as it kept my mind off my aching heart.

After school, as we were getting ready to go, I heard Jess call my name excitedly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Bella I found this by your locker!" She hadn't me a clean white envelope – at least, as clean as an envelope could be that had been on the floor of a high school. On the front, my name was written in Edward's elegant, old-fashioned script.

"Do you think it's from him?" Jess asked, peering over my hands.

I nodded, not wanting to speak.

"Well, open it. Maybe he gave it to one of his friends to give to you. Maybe he really couldn't possibly talk to you himself."

I nodded again, though I didn't agree. Edward didn't have friends here, nor had he ever expressed the desire to have them. He had probably come himself. He had been here and I had missed him.

"What are you waiting for?" Jess seemed more excited about it than I was.

I bit my lip and pulled out the fine white paper inside. It read:

Bella,

I apologize for any inconvenience that my family and I have caused you by our decision to leave but our actions were necessary. My relationship with you has become too much of a risk for both of us and I fear it had to be ended before any negative consequences sprung from it. I realize that you may not be pleased with the action that I have decided to take which is why I did not consult you beforehand. There is no other possible course.

Please, do not try to contact us or otherwise risk our exposure or your safety. We had your best interests at heart when we made our decision. Be careful. Be safe.

Sincerely,

Edward

There was no way that this letter was from who it said it was from. I read Edward's name at the bottom but it was impossible that my Edward – the Edward to whom I had given my heart and spent the last few months of my life with, the Edward who was so full of energy and life, the Edward who had saved my life last spring, the Edward who watched over me while I slept and played lullabies written only for me – had written these cold, heartless words.

I crumpled the letter in my fist. I'd burn it when I got home – both to make sure that no one else would see it, and in the hope that if I got rid of it, I could forget about it.

"That bad, huh?" Jess' sympathy was clear in her voice and face.

I didn't say anything but I gratefully leaned into her as she pulled me into a hug.

"It'll be okay," she murmured into my ear. "I'll see you later and we can talk about it then."

"Okay," I said. She patted me on the shoulder and disappeared down the hall. As I watched her, I wished that I could tell her about it, but when your 'it' was a vampire, there was only so much you could say without attracting their negative attention.

Biting back hot tears, I stuffed the letter in my pocket and walked out into the freezing rain.


	5. Lies

Lies

I was not enjoying the drive home. It was dark, rainy, and my meeting with Jess and Angela hadn't helped as much as I thought it would, probably because I couldn't tell them the truth. It was dark, and rainy, and I wasn't looking to trying to sleep that night. Today I had still been in shock and was too numb to truly feel the pain that Edward had left me with. Sleep was the one place where all my pain and fear would be brought to the surface.

It was so tempting to me, to simply give in to the numbness, to let it protect me, when the alternative was pain, worse than I had imagined. But I couldn't ultimately bring myself to do that, however much I wanted to. Between pain and nothingness, I would take pain. Pain could be conquered, overcome, but if I gave in to nothingness, I would eventually be swallowed by it.

With a sigh, I pulled over. If I couldn't be honest with my friends, I could at least be honest with myself. I had to if I was going to get over this.

I took another deep breath. Most importantly, Edward was gone and he wasn't coming back, certainly not while I was still living. Edward didn't love me any more, and possibly never had. Regardless of my previous hopes, I would die in approximately eighty years. As I thought about those facts, I realized that I hadn't truly grasped them yet, and possibly never would, at least not entirely.

I leaned my head against the cool plastic of the steering wheel and let my pain come to the surface. Hot tears rolled down cheeks and chin, dripping into my lap. I sat there for a long time, not wanting to continue, or even knowing what to do next.

I had been in relationships before but never one as strong and loving as this had been. Then, we would simply drift apart and eventually forget each other. I could not forget Edward – didn't want to, regardless of the repercussions of holding on.

It wasn't as though I was completely alone now. I still had my family, my human friends, and a stuffed, pink rabbit that lived in my bed. But in so many ways, Edward was all I'd had. Now I would have to lean to do without. More than that, if I had been wrong about him, the one unchanging rock in my life, what else could I be wrong about? I wasn't sure I wanted to know – in fact, I was positive I didn't. I didn't want to risk any more pain.

No matter what I thought of, my mind kept circling back to him... to us... and to me, all alone in the dark. The loneliness that I felt now was only made harsher in contrast to what I had had, just weeks before. When once I had thought I had everything I could ever want, I was now left alone with nothing but a questionable memory.

Another thought occurred to me, perhaps more troubling than the others, which had already grown thin with repetition. Perhaps things would have been no different if he had stayed. Perhaps we were already falling apart, long before Edward's attack. I looked back over the days leading up to my birthday but could find nothing to indicate a growing distance between us. Then again, I had mis-judged him before. For all I knew, he had never loved me in the first place.

I brought my hand up and rubbed my forehead as though by doing so I could scrub away my unpleasant speculations. But I couldn't scrub away Edward's betrayal. I couldn't simply heal the wounds he had inflicted with his lies.

I pulled myself upright, feeling simply empty. All my tears had already been shed and there wasn't a thought that I hadn't yet faced. So why didn't I feel any better? I tried banging my head against the headrest of my seat but when that didn't help either, I gave up and simply let my gaze drift to the twilight scenery around the car.

I had stopped midway between the city limits and the city's downtown and there were lines of houses on either side of the road. One house in particular caught my eye. More specifically, the pile metal beside a sign reading 'for sale as is' caught my eye. Without being entirely aware of what I was doing, I slipped out of the car and crossed the street through the light rain. As I grew closer, they became distinguishable as two motorcycles, one red one black.

On seeing that, I started to turn back towards my truck, despite the interest that the bikes held. Charlie didn't approve of them from a police chief's standpoint and I couldn't see is opinion being any different where his only daughter was concerned. Besides, I had promised Edward...

I stopped where I was and turned back to the bikes. Broken promises I had in spades. He had lied, so why did I feel obligated to stay true to him?

Without a second thought, I stalked toward the house and rang the doorbell. It occurred to me just after that it might be too late to be polite but a moment later, much to my relief, a young boy came to the door. I had never met him but his brother brother Brian Marks was in the same biology class as I.

"Yeah?" he said, hanging half in half out of the house.

"Hello. I was just wondering about the bikes."

"Huh?" His monosyllabic phrases were not very encouraging to the conversation.

"The motorcycles on your lawn – I was wondering how much they were."

"Oh, that. Mom says they're just junk. You can take 'em for free if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Tell you what." I pulled out my wallet and fished through it for a ten. "Why don't you take this in return for the bikes?"

The boy grinned. "Cool."

In the end, he helped me moving the bikes into the back of my truck and hiding them under a tarpaulin. Okay, so I didn't actually tell him I was hiding it but it was true. I didn't want to think about what would happen if Charlie found motorcycles – even in the degraded state these were in – in the back of my truck.

I didn't get home till rather late so Charlie was home when I got to my house. I decided to leave the bikes in the back of my truck.

The excitement of the bikes left me in a much better mood as I entered the house than when I had left it.

"How are you feeling, Bells?" Charlie asked as I came in, a trace of surprise in his voice.

"I'm fine," I said, pleased to find that the words were close to truth, or that they at least sounded that way.

"You're later comin' home than usual," he said, seeming more interested in the fact that I wasn't upset for the moment than in the explanation.

"I went out for ice cream with Ange and Jess."

"Did you have fun?" he asked, still sounding uncertain.

"Yeah." Just because the real reason I was feeling better was that I had gotten the bikes was no reason to tell Charlie that. He might be happy that I was happy but that would only go so far.

"Well, that's good. I guess I just thought..." he trailed off and my expression sobered.

"I know. I guess being with my friends helps it not hurt as much."

"Look, Bells, I don't know if this will help but... Billy is coming over tomorrow and I thought... maybe... you might keep Jake company back on the res."

I sighed. Most of my good mood had disappeared with the reminder of him. All of a sudden, I didn't really feel like doing anything except lie in bed and mope, much less do anything that involved anyone else.

"Sure, Dad. I'll go there right after school – as long as you don't want me to make dinner or anything." At least it would give me something to do.

Charlie chuckled. "Believe it or not, kid, I can cook. I managed to survive for seventeen years without your cooking; I think I can make it through one night."

I smiled, unsure of how realistic it appeared, given that I didn't feel like smiling right now. Or anytime in the near future. All I really wanted now was to be alone.

Charlie smiled sympathetically in return and I headed toward the stairs.

"Aren't you hungry?" Charlie asked.

I shook my head, not turning to look at him. "I ate already. Besides, I have some homework to do."

"Oh... okay," he said uncertainly.

I got upstairs feeling... bad. I hadn't been thinking about how Charlie would be affected by my actions and at this rate, I was going to hurt him – possibly badly – out of some careless word or act brought on by my grieving. As much as they were trying to help, I really wasn't convinced that they understood what Edward and I had had – until I remembered that our relationship wasn't what I had thought it was. It didn't help that I had to make up most of what I told them. And beneath all that was -

I cut myself off. Thinking about it more wouldn't help me to heal, to forget. But I didn't want to forget. I didn't want to lose Edward – my Edward, the one who loved me and protected me. I didn't want to forget how I felt.

But it hurt so much to think about. What if the only way to end the pain was to forget? Which would I chose. This was a easier choice when all I would lose would be myself. Now the equation was so much more complicated.

With a shuddering breath, I curled in on myself, burying my face in my pillow while tears wracked my body. How many times could I go through this before the pain was washed away? Would I cry myself to sleep every night for the rest of my life?

I faded from consciousness as the sun fell below the horizon.

I dreamed. I dreamed that I was walking with Jacob through the halls of my school. He was almost twice my height but somehow his head didn't touch the ceiling.

"Jake," I said, "why did the Cold Ones leave?"

"Edward didn't want you," he replied, but somehow, his voice was mine.

"I'm lonely," I said glancing around the empty passage. Where was everyone?

"I don't want you."

I looked at him, surprised because it so wrong, so unexpected. His topaz eyes were still, unblinking on my face. His russet skin was cold and and white, glistening in the light of the hall.

"What?" I asked.

"Go away!" He said his voice much harsher.

I turned and ran, frightened. I ran and ran, faster than I had ever gone before but the end of the hall way never seemed to get closer. After what seemed like hours, I tripped over a large present, wrapped in pale paper.

I turned to see Jacob lunge, his sharp teeth glinting.

"Ahh!" I sat up in bed my eyes darting around the room. My sheets were drenched with swear and every nerve in my body tingled with awareness. All for nothing. It was just a dream.

I collapsed back onto my pillow in mixed relief and horror. Relief that it hadn't happened, and horror that I was still haunted by him.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly, trying to erase the frightening images that lingered behind my lids but they wouldn't fade. After a moment, I glance at the alarm clock by my bed and groaned. It was four fifty-two a.m. After that dream, there was no way I would be able to get back to sleep so with an irritated sigh, I rolled out of bed and turned on the light. I considered making breakfast but I had lost my appetite.

I pulled out a book and stared at the first page for fifteen minutes without getting farther than the first sentence. I couldn't seem to pull my mind out of the nightmare. It was even the actual dream. It was the reality that I'd been abandoned, dropped like a worn out toy.

My mind kept flying back to the night of the party and I wondered again and again if I had been more careful, or let someone else open the gift, or opened it later, would things have gone differently? Would he have stayed? Then I would think about the letter and I would wonder when and how we had gone wrong and then I would come to the conclusion that he had never loved me in the first place. Just as I had many times before.

There was a mix of emotions inside me, some of them polar opposites, I seemed utterly unable to think of anything else. He was the default setting, the thing my mind automatically turned to if I let it wander. But... would it be cowardice not to let myself think of him? Could I not think of him? I had tried to face everything last night and it had done no good.

The seconds ticked by all to quickly while I warred with myself in my head. At quarter to nine I forced him out of my head trying to focus on school, on the present, but he was still there, hovering at the edge of my thoughts.

It was easier at school. With all my friends around me, including me completely, it was easy to keep myself focused on them rather than the pain. But it was still there and all my thoughts seemed to have taken a darker edge. I hated myself because as much as I loved my friends and as much as they tried to help, some subconscious part of me refused to let go.

After school, I piled all my things into my truck and headed home, trying to keep the focus, but it was no use. Edward had started to seep back into my thoughts halfway through Biology. I was so absorbed in that that I got halfway home before I remembered that I had told my dad that I would pay Jacob a visit.

I pulled off the road and thought for a moment. My first thought was that I could just go home, not that it would work. Billy talked to my dad too much for me to lie about that. Then I thought of how much better I'd felt at school than I had that morning on my bed and with a sigh, I turned around and turned onto the road that lead to the Black's house on the Reservation.

When I arrived, Billy came to the door and told me that Jake was out back in the garage. Somewhat nervously I walked along the thin pathway that led beside the house to the garage that was really nothing more than two trailers strung together. When I got to the entrance I paused, wondering if I should knock, and then just walked in.

I didn't see him at first. All I saw was A wall of tools, a utilitarian metal bench, a stereo that was playing a CD I didn't recognize, and the semi-rusted skeleton of a car. "Jake?" I called, wondering if he were there at all.

He slid out from under the car, a smudge of oil on his cheek and a wrench in his hand "Yeah, what is – Bella!" He smiled warmly and clambered to his feet. "This is... unexpected. Here have a seat." He indicated the bench that I had noticed upon entering.

"Hey, Jake. It's good to see you again." I sat down feeling uncomfortable because it was the only in the room.

"Yeah, you too." He came and sat against the front end of the car he'd been working on. "So what's up?"

I shrugged. "Not much. I realized it had been a while since we'd seen each other and I decided I'd stop by and see how you were doing."

"And?"

I smiled. "Same as always. But what this you're working on? Is this the Rabbit you mentioned before?"

"Yeah. It was pretty much junk when I found it and the few parts that it still had were so far gone that they'd need to be replaced anyway. I've got the frame pretty much fixed up and the wheels but the engine shot and I don't have all the parts I need. I'm at a bit of a standstill until I can find them."

"That sucks. But... speaking of engine's and such, I've got two broken down motorcycles that you might be able to do something about. Are you interested in a project while you wait for the parts you need."

He shrugged. "Could be. Lets take a look at those bikes."

I led him back to my truck where the bikes still lay hidden beneath a blue tarp. Together, we took them back to his garage and I watched him while he looked them over. "They're not too bad. They need a bit of a patch job plus new wheels and a bunch of new parts. It shouldn't be too difficult but fixing them isn't going to be cheap."

"So you're actually willing to do it?"

"Sure. Like I said, the actual work shouldn't be too hard. The only problem is resources. Some of these parts can get pretty expensive."

I frowned. "I can pay for it." I had a few hundred dollars saved up from my job here and the one back in Phoenix. I was pretty sure I should be putting it towards my college fund instead of this, but it was my money to do with as I chose.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. And you can keep one of the bikes. I'm not sure what I'd do with one, let alone two – but maybe... do you think you'd be willing to teach me how to ride one once they're finished."

"Sure – as long as you're careful. I don't want to have to explain to the police chief why his daughter is all scraped up."

"Right... That's another thing. My dad really doesn't approve of motorcycles and he would probably flip if he knew that I had one so we've got to keep this quiet." Actually, that my dad would flip was probably an understatement. My dad had a thing about motorcycles. I think it came from seeing too many car accidents where cyclists have been utterly pulverized. Motorcycles just aren't as safe as cars and I was sure he'd be upset if he found out I was even considering riding one.

"No problem."

"What about your dad? If he finds out, word will get to my dad eventually." And then heads would roll.

"He doesn't come down here. It's too hard for the wheelchair to make it over the uneven ground. If we leave them here they'll be fine."

"That's great."

"So," Jake said, pounding his hand on the bike, "Let's get started."

I stayed for two hours, watching while Jacob worked and letting a hand now and then. We talked all the while but everything from music, to friends, to the inner workings of a car engine. The time passed quickly and eventually I realized that I had to leave if I wanted to get home in time for dinner. I hoped Charlie wouldn't mind if I was late especially considering the whole thing had been his idea – except the bikes of course.

The truth was, I was glad he had suggested it, because, though I hadn't been thrilled at the time. I had really enjoyed myself. I said goodbye to Jake and to Billy and he waved as I pulled away from their house.

On the way home, I thought of Jake, and the secret he and I now shared. It was interesting how completely Edward had disappeared from my mind once I started talk to the Quileute and watching him work. I wasn't sure if it was just the excitement of the bikes but the pain had disappeared while I was there. It was starting to creep back now that I had left but I decided to go I didn't start moping again. I wasn't as happy as I could be but I was definitely feeling better.

Things weren't as good after dinner, when the depression had had time to grow and I was beginning to feel mopey, but I definitely was feeling as bad as I'd been before. Uncertain though I was, I strengthened my resolve. I would visit Jacob tomorrow. I'd enjoyed being around him and not just because he made it stop hurting. He was really a pleasant person to be around – kind, fun, understanding, with a sense of humour I could appreciate.

He'd turned out to be a better friend than I ever thought he would.


	6. Adrenaline

The next morning was one of the rare mornings when I awoke in time to enjoy my breakfast with Charlie. We didn't speak much, partly because neither of us was particularly talkative, especially not in the morning, and partly because, as usual, Charlie was mostly absorbed in the paper.

After a while he asked, "Are you going to go see Jacob again today?"

"Yeah, probably. Why?"

"Just curious. You seemed happier yesterday, when you got back."

I had felt better to. But as much of a relief as it had been, I didn't want to admit it because it would only remind me of the pain and why I needed the relief. I shrugged.

"What did you do yesterday?"

I winced. I hoped to avoid answering that question. I disliked lying to people – especially peopl I cared about. However, I was sure I would dislike it even more if I told Charlie everything. "I helped Jake out in his garage. Did you know he's restoring a Volkswagen Rabbit." Even though I hadn't lied, I knew I hadn't been truthful either and it made me uncomfortable.

"Yeah? Think you'll do the same thing today?"

"Maybe," I said cautiously. Where was he going with this.

"Try to stay out of the forests – you know, don't go hiking, or anything like that. There've been some wolf attacks lately – some campers have even disappeared – and I want you to be safe."

I frowned. "Wolf attacks? I thought there weren't any wolves in this area."

"Yeah, that's what makes this whole thing so worrisome. We've called in a specialist to investigate but until we figure out what's going on and fix it, I want you to stay out of the forest, just in case."

Charlie left shortly after and I was left wondering about the whole confusing affair. I had been under the impression that the wolves in this area were extinct and clearly, so had the police department. Something just didn't add up.

I asked my friends at school but aside from a story by one of the customers at the Newton's store, no one knew anything. I decided it probably wasn't all that important and by the time I had reached the familiar red house, the wolves had disappeared from my mind completely.

Jake was not as surprised to see me when I showed up the next day as he had been the first but he was just as glad. We walked together down to the garage where the red bike – the one destined for me – was in pieces on the floor. He examined in and gave me a pencil and paper to write down a list of what we needed to buy. Every now and then I would look up in confusion at a word he said and he would stop his analysis to explain how the part worked and where on the bike it went.

When we finally finished the list, we looked over it together and he said, "You know this might not be as bad as I thought. We should be able to find at least three quarters of this stuff at the junk yard."

"That's great," I said. "When do you want to go shopping?"

"Well we should go as soon as possible since I can't get anything done on these until I've got those parts so..."

"How about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow works," he said with a shrug.

"Is there nothing to do until then?"

"Sure there is. The frames and the parts we do have could use some polish – the rust wouldn't be helping anything. That's about it though. Of course, there's always the Rabbit, as long as you're not bored of cars and bikes."

"That's fine."

"If we get really desperate, we can pull out monopoly. I think we have it tucked away on top of a bookshelf somewhere."

"I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about that," I said with a smile. "So what do you want me to polish?"

He worked on the parts of his bike, I worked on the parts of mine, careful not to get them mixed up, and as we worked, we talked, just as we had the day before. There seemed no end to the conversations we could think of and we spent an hour just talking and polishing before we decided to take a break – from the polishing, at least. Jake brought out some orange pop and we sat sprawled on the garage floor while we drank it.

I heard footsteps from outside the garage and I looked to see who it was but I couldn't see them from where I was sitting. Jake looked and then got to his feet. Moments later two boys around his age entered. Both were Quileutes though they had very little in common.

One was wiry and tall, with his hair almost as long as Jacob's. His limbs were quite long and he seemed like he wasn't quite comfortable with them yet. His face was narrower as well and his smiling mouth was probably it's most prominent feature.

The other was significantly shorter – though he was still taller than I – and stocky. His hair was cut short and spiked so that you could see all the bones in his handsome face.

"Hey, Jake," he said as he came in, and then he noticed me. "And who is this?"

"Bella Swan," I said before Jake could respond. I held out my hand, realized I was still holding my pop, glanced at my other hand which was stained with grease from the rag I'd been using and then shrugged helplessly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Quil Ateara. This is Embry," he said, nodding towards the taller of the two.

The names sounded familiar. "Yeah. Jake mentioned you two."

"Yeah? What did he say?"

"Not much. Just that you were friends."

"So what are you two doing here?" asked Embry,speaking for the first time.

"I'm helping Jake out with his mechanical stuff."

"Aren't you bored to tears?"

I frowned. "No. It's actually quite interesting."

"So what are all these parts for?"

Jake took a sip of his pop and said, "We're restoring some bikes that Bella found."

"He's restoring them. I'm not much help."

"Oh sure," said Jake, grinning, "You're just paying for the whole thing."

"Admit it, I'm getting a deal. I'm only paying for parts. You're doing the actual work – and the lessons – for free. Consider how much I would be paying if I had taken them to Dowlings."

"I suppose you're right." Jake shrugged.

"Wait," Quil interjected. "You're taking lessons from this guy? He doesn't even have a bike!"

"He does now," I replied. "Actually, he has two of them."

"Well, yeah, but these hardly count. These are..." and then they launched into a discussion of various companies and makers and which was better than which and on the whole, I was very confused by the number of random letters and numbers that got strung together. Listening to them argue, I was sure it was something I would have to have a Y Chromosome to understand.

After a while, I got up quietly and headed towards the door. Jake came after me.

"Sorry about that, he said. We really are boring you, aren't we?"

"No, you guys are fine. I just have to get back home to make dinner. I'll see you tomorrow and we can go shopping for parts."

"Sounds good."After a moment, he turned and headed back to the garage where Embry and Quil were waiting more or less in silence.

Seconds later I heard the boys voices return, taunting, "Aww, you scared her away." and, "Jake's got a girlfriend."

I was still laughing as I got into my truck and drove away.

I showed up the next day with check book in hand and Jake met me at the door. He climbed into the passenger seat beside me and examined the list of parts that we needed to acquire.

"We'll start at the junkyard. There'll be at least some of these there. The expensive stuff, we'll probably have to buy, but, who knows. We could get lucky."

According to him, we did get lucky, though I could only vaguely recognize the pieces of twisted black metal that he had pulled out of the ankle deep mud. He seemed excited about them.

The really funny thing was that I was excited, too – not so much at the individual parts, but at the whole prospect. Excitement was something I hadn't felt since... well, since September thirteenth. Jacob was exciting and everything I did with him made me happy. I was only just beginning to realize how special he was.

I did my best to focus on the road ahead of me.

After visiting the junkyard, we had some actual shopping to do and I was relieved, at the end of it, to find that we had gotten all the parts we need and we had not used all my money – though we had certainly used a large portion of it. We piled everything in the back of my truck and headed back to Jacob's garage.

When we got there, I helped him cart everything that we'd gotten back to his garage. He laid it all out on the floor with which ever bike need the part. Once that was finished, he picked up a wrench and started to work on my bike, cleaning, attaching, and dissembling, pieces rapidly. I sat on the small metal bench and watched in fascination.

Eventually, though, as it always did, conversation took the place of focused work and we ended up laughing over the most random things. The days went on more or less the same and needless to say, the bikes progressed slowly.

In the end it took Jacob a little over a month to finish the bikes. I was still recovering from a Halloween party Jessica had thrown when he called me up two days later.

"Bella," he said, "I think we have a date."

"You're kidding," I said in disbelief. Even as I'd watched them grow closer and closer to completion, I hadn't actually thought about riding them – not since that first night when I seen them on the Marks' front lawn. Now that the actuality was right in front of me, I was filled with fear and exhilaration, unsure of what to expect.

"Nope."

"They're finished?" I asked, still shocked.

"Yup. Just got them done this morning and I have the perfect place to practice. There's a stretch of road of the highway that is fairly deserted but it's long enough that you can actually get some riding in. You doing anything this afternoon?"

"Well... No."

"Cool. Then you should come over around one – or earlier if you want. It's up to you."

"N-no, one is fine."

"You nervous?"

"Yes, definitely. But I can do this. Right?"

"Of course. Just don't hurt yourself. I don't want to get in trouble."

"Jake! That's hardly going to help my confidence!"

He chuckled. "You're right. I'm sorry. You're going to do perfectly fine, you're a natural, nothing could possibly go wrong, and all that jazz. Feel better?"

"That was so helpful," I said dryly.

"Wonderful. So I'll see you at one?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Great. See you later."

"Bye."

He hung up and I set the phone back in its cradle, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I glanced at the clock. I had two hours. Two hours until I would go rocketing down the street on a motorcycle, and probably crash into something and kill myself. Whose stupid idea was this? Oh right, mine. Of course at the time, I'd been so taken with the idea of a distraction that I hadn't even considered the fact that I would eventually actually ride them.

One hour and fifty nine minutes. The worst part was that it wasn't like I hadn't been thinking about what I was doing. I'd bought the bikes, asked Jacob to fix them, paid for the parts, and then watched as he worked on them. But even as they drew ever closer to completion, I simply hadn't been paying attention to the fact that I would have to ride one soon and it had taken me by surprise when Jacob called. I wasn't sure I wanted to go even, but I could hardly back out now.

One hour and fifty eight minutes. It took a long time for that two hours to pass.

At one o'clock, I pulled up to Jacob's house feeling almost as nervous as I had when he'd first called. He came out and greeted me, pulling me into a warm hug. I pushed him away gently, feeling uncomfortable at the small intimacy. I didn't want to hurt again.

He shrugged it off and led me around to the garage where he kept the bikes. Just as he had promised, the finished bikes waited inside next to his Rabbit.

"What do you think?" he asked.

I smiled. "I think you're the most wonderful, amazing person ever and you're the best mechanic I know."

"Yeah I know. Want to help me get them to the truck? Billy's visiting Harry so we won't have to worry about hiding them."

"Sure," I said and we each grabbed a bike and carried or dragged the bikes to my truck. We both got in and he directed me onto an unfamiliar road.

"You know this might be easier if you just drove – wait, I forgot you weren't legal."

"Actually I am. Turned sixteen just last month."

"Sorry I missed it," I said.

"It's okay. After all, I missed yours. But it's not far away. You shouldn't have trouble finding it."

After some time talking with Jacob, I started to relax, as I always did. It seemed strange that no matter how angry or tense I felt, whenever I was with him, the feeling seemed to melt away and I was content – at least for a little while.

As I drove h explained the basics of riding motorcycles as best he could. He explained the breaks and how to control the gas and all the other important stuff you should know before taking the wheel – or handlebars, in this case. I listened carefully but I couldn't help feeling a little overwhelmed. As much as I trusted Jacob, I wasn't sure I trusted myself enough to actually get on one of the bikes in my truck.

"Don't worry," said Jacob at my worried expression. "We'll go over everything before we actually get started."

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Jacob. He didn't quite seem himself. His gaze darted around the car and he fidgeted constantly. It was quite clear to me that something was bothering him.

"What is it, Jake?" I asked.

He looked up. "Oh, nothing. It's just... It's just Embry. Like, one day he's in school with Quil and me and the next he's gone for a week – supposedly he's insanely sick but he never seems to be there when we call. Now he's still missing a lot of school and he still isn't talking to us. But the really weird thing is that he's been spending all his time with Sam Uley's little gang – and he was just as bugged by them as I am. Now they're best buds." His voice was bitter. It didn't suit him, I thought. He should be happy.

"Jake," I said softly, but he wasn't finished.

"and it's not even just Embry. When ever I see Sam or Embry or Paul or any of their little group, they look at me like they expect something, - like they're waiting for something to happen. Maybe they think I'm going to suddenly decide Sam's god just like Embry. And I just don't know..." He didn't finish the sentence.

"Jake," I said gently, "no one is going to make you do anything that you don't want to. Everything will be fine."

He sighed. "I know. You missed the turn, by the way."

"Thanks," I said, and I pulled a wide U-turn heading back down the road. I found the turn off eventually and I pulled off the road and parked. Together, Jacob and I got out of the truck and set the bikes on the side of the road. After donning the helmet and jacket that we had somehow managed to acquire in secrecy, I kicked a leg of my bike an waited for further instructions.

"Okay," said Jake, all worries from before gone, or at least set aside. "So, where's you're clutch?"

I nodded o the lever on my left handlebar.

"Good. Now, where's your break?"

"Behind my right foot," I answered.

"Wrong. We're just going to stick to the hand break for now. Okay, throttle? Gearshift?" he continued to go through all the important parts of the bike that I should know about before I set off. When he was finally convinced that I did know, more or less, what I had to, he said, "Now, Bella, I want you to grab the clutch and hold it. It's very important that you don't let go until I say."

I swallowed. "Okay."

"Do you think you can kick start the bike?"

I nodded but when I tried I ended up almost falling over and he ended up doing it for me. I talked me through the rest of the steps – putting the bike in gear, and such – until there was only one thing left to do. "Alright," he said, when everything was finally ready. "Now I want you to really slowly ease up on the clutch."

Utterly terrified, I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I relaxed my hand infinitesimally. Nothing happened.

"A little more than that, Bella," Jake said, a hint of exasperation in his tone.

I opened my hand slowly, millimetre by millimetre and eventually, I felt the bike rolling forward and I realized that I had manged to get it moving. It was moving more slowly than the average person walked, and for the most part I had to leave my feet on the ground to keep the bike from falling over, but I was moving.

The bike began to speed up slowly and then I felt the wind blowing through my hair and across my face as I sped down the narrow road. I was so caught up in the adrenaline of the speed that it took me far longer than it should have to realize that a sharp turn was coming up in the road. Jake hadn't explained turning but I figured it couldn't be that different from a normal bike. Unfortunately, as I leaned, I accidentally twisted the throttle and the bike sped up before skidding out off the road.

I blinked when I came to a stop to find that I was pressed against a tree with the motorcycle sitting on top of me. Jake was running towards me, a look of alarm on his face.

"Bella! Bella, are you alright?" he pulled the bike of me and knelt beside me, hovering awkwardly.

I nodded dazedly. "Yeah, I'm fine." In fact, aside from a few cuts and scrapes, I was fine – and more than fine. For the few seconds that I had been on the bike, and even while I slid across the asphalt, I had felt completely and utterly alive as I hadn't felt since... since Edward left. "Can I go again?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay..." he said, clearly unsure. He helped me to my feet and we walked together back to the other bike.

"This time," he said, when I was once more straddling the motorcycle, "Don't try the turn, just hit the brake before you get there. Actually, you'd better give yourself a bit of extra distance. How are you feeling."

"Great."

"Still nervous?"

"No, actually."

"So go ahead, but take it slow. Motorcycle accidents can hurt."

"Right." This time I managed to kick start the bike myself and pulled away slowly. Things seemed to be going well and I pushed the speed a little faster, the wind roaring in my ears. When I got close to the turn, I remembered that I wasn't take it, and instinctively, I moved my foot to hit the brake behind it. I remembered at the last minute that I was supposed to use the hand break and I squeezed,much harder than I should have.

The bike stopped; I didn't. I ended up lying in a heap a few yards away from my bike. My head hurt, presumably because I'd hit it on the ground when I went flying off my bike, but other than that, I was only bruised.

"Bella? Bella, talk to me." Jacob stood over me anxiously.

"I'm fine. I was just too quick on the brake. Let me try again."

"I don't think so, Bella."

"Why not?"

"Are you kidding?"

I shook my head, confused.

"Bella, you have a huge cut on your fore head. I'm not sure this was such a good idea."

"I want to go again."

Jake shook his head. "The only place you're going right now is the hospital. You need to get that looked at."

Despite my protests, both of us knew that it would be stupid for me to try again. Even after I'd visited the hospital and was assured that I was not seriously hurt, Jacob had pretty much decided that the lessons were over. It wasn't quite the last lesson, though. A week later I managed to convince him to try again but the lessons were stopped more permanently when I sprained my wrist falling off the bike for what felt like the tenth time. After that, we tried to stick to safer activities.

Even though we didn't do much besides talk and study, I greatly enjoyed my time with Jacob. I was spending so much time with him that I was starting to neglect my other friends, Although it took me a long time, I realized that if I didn't actually start putting in some effort to maintaining my friendships, I would lose them.

I called up my three closest friends from school – Angela, Jessica, and Mike – with the intent of planning a trip to the movies on Friday night. Unfortunately, Angela had a date with a boy she had met recently named Ben, but she insisted that I go anyway. She didn't want to be an inconvenience.

Since I wasn't sure what the relationship between Jess and Mike was at this point, I also called up Jacob, hoping to have an extra buffer between them if it turned out to be necessary. Alright, so maybe it also had something to do with the fact that I really wanted Jacob to be there with me. Fortunately, he agreed and after that I stopped worrying about the why, satisfied just that I wanted him there.

"Are you going out with friends?" Charlie asked, setting down the paper.

"On Friday."

"Hm." He frowned.

"Is something wrong?"

"Just... stay out of Seattle, okay?"

"Sure. Why?"

"They think there might be a killer on the loose. There's been upwards of twenty deaths in the last month."

"Don't worry. We weren't planning on going down to Seattle."

"Good. Just be careful."

"I will, Dad."

He picked the paper up again and began reading. That's when I noticed the headline:

**Seattle Death Toll on the Rise**

**police fear gang activity**

The picture beneath it was clearly that of a crime scene. There was what seemed to be a boys graduation photo in the top right hand corner of the image.

"Dad, can I have a look at that?" I asked.

"Oh, sure. Here. I have to go now anyway. I have a few errands to run." He passed the paper to me.

"When do you think you'll be back?"

"Probably around seven. I shouldn't be gone too long."

"Okay. See you then."

When he was gone I looked back at the paper and began reading.

On the morning of November 16th, 2005, the body of 21 year old Charles Carver was found in the parking lot of a local coffee shop a few blocks away from his apartment in downtown Seattle. The owner of the coffee shop, Linda Bray, discovered the body at approximately 6:42 AM when she arrived at the building to open the shop for the day. "I didn't notice the body until I got out of my car," she says, "but once I had, it was clear – even from five or six yards away – that the boy was dead." According to police reports, Carver had been beaten and then bitten more than twenty times on various points on his body when he finally died from severe blood loss.

Sally Harris, the medical examiner who performed the autopsy on Carver's body noted that he had been dead for some hours before Linda Bray found him. Curiously, she also said that the body had been drained almost completely of blood.

Charles Carver's is the twenty third death of this sort that Seattle has suffered in the past month, but police are no closer to discovering who the murderer – or murderers – are. "Due to the consistency and the type of injuries found on all the victims, I would suspect a gang or a cult," says investigator Matthew Lowe, but so far the police have no leads. The families of more than thirty murdered or missing await justice on those who have torn their families apart. The family of murdered James Caldwell speaks on how they have been affected by these crimes. When Caldwell, 19, took his girlfriend, Katie Vargas, out to a movie and did not come home, his concerned family immediately began searching. His body was discovered behind a bush in a park a few blocks away from the theater he and Vargas had gone to but Vargas herself was nowhere to be found. James' father, Walter Caldwell stated that he wished he had kept James home and that he had been more supportive of James' desire to start his own rock band. James' fourteen year old sister, Alissa says, "I feel responsible for James' death. I hadn't been talking to him because I didn't like his new girlfriend and now I hate myself for not telling him I loved him when I had the chance. I hate Katie more, though, because she may still be alive when my brother is dead."

Other families have spoken about their experience with this gang such as the family of Riley Wilson, who appeared on KOMO Newsradio a three weeks after he disappeared to discuss what had happened and to send out a plea for him to be returned safely.

Continued on page A5

I set the paper down on the table, struggling for breath. More than thirty attacks... Multiple bite marks... more than seven people just... gone. It all made too much sense to be anything else and I knew that no gang had done this.

There was a vampire loose in Seattle.

for the rest of the week, I did my best to keep the killer out of my mind – a task which was made easier by the distance between Seattle and Forks, however insignificant that distance would be to a vampire – and come Friday night, I was almost as excited for the evening's plans as I had been about the bikes. I had thrown on some night appropriate clothes and grabbed my seldom used purse when the phone rang.

"Hello?" I said when I picked up.

"Hi, Bella," said Jessica, sounding apologetic. "Look, I'm really sorry – I guess I just wasn't thinking – but something's come up and I can't go to the movies with you tonight. I'm really sorry."

My shoulders slumped. "No, no, that's okay," I assured her, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"I'm really sorry, Bella. Have fun, okay."

"Yeah. I will."

"See you on Monday."

I sighed. "Bye."

Only minutes later as I waited in the living room for Jacob to arrive, the phone rang again. It was Mike. He had gotten some kind of stomach virus and wouldn't be able to come either. After assuring him that I didn't mind, I hung up, just in time for the phone to ring again.

"Doubtless that's Jake calling to say that he can't come cause he needs to shampoo his carpets," I muttered. "Hello?"

"Hi, Bella," said Jacob. "I have some news."

"Let me guess. You can't come?"

"What?"

"Never mind. What's the news?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I'll be taking you to the movies in style."

"What do you mean?"

He said nothing, letting me think about it.

"You finished the Rabbit!" I said excitedly.

"Sure did. It's even painted. So how's this thing gonna work? Are we meeting your friends there?"

"Actually... About that... They're not coming. You know, stuff came up, so now it's just you and me." I frowned as it finally sunk in that my night out with some friends had turned into a private date with Jacob. As much as I liked him, alarms were beginning to go off at the intimacy that that would cause. I knew better. But I couldn't make myself wish that he wouldn't be there or that this wouldn't happen.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

It took much longer to get to the theatre than it had for Jacob to get to my house but we did get there eventually and after we fueled up on drinks and popcorn, we took our seats. I wasn't sure how it was decided that we would watch the latest Harry Potter movie – I had gotten fed up with the books after the sixth one came out and I was fairly sure that Jacob hadn't read them at all – but it was what we chose in the end.

When it finally started playing after far too many commercials, I found I couldn't really get caught up in the movie. I was more aware of the theatre than I was of the movie. I heard every cough and and every mouthful of chips that the man beside me ate. So I noticed when, somehow, Jacob's arm made it's way around me.

My first instinct was to flinch away, to protect myself in the only way I could, but I was human, and not controlled by my instincts. I thought of his constant openness, trust, and understanding. How he had been there for me after years of separation and how he refused to let my pain and defensiveness affect him or our friendship. I took a shaky breath, full of fear and uncertainty, and leaned against him, doing the exact opposite of what made sense.

He seemed surprised when I welcomed him, rather than pushing him away and keeping my distance. That wall had been up for the entirety of our second relationship and its absence was unsettling to both of us. Unsettling, but not unwelcome.

After that, though I still wasn't paying much attention to the movie, my mind was completely diverted from the rest of the theatre. I focused on Jacob, listening to his steady breathing and trying to accustom myself to the closeness I hadn't expected to feel again at all, let alone within months.

"So what did you think of the movie?" I asked as we left the theatre a little over an hour later.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I wasn't really watching it."

Again, I felt the uncomfortable urge to distance myself. Love, trust, I had learned the hard way what those could do to someone and I was hesitant to let myself go.

Refusing to give in to my paranoia, I put my arm around Jacob's waist and pulled him closer.

We held hands on the way back to my house, and for once, we were silent, having reached a certain understanding that was beyond words. He got out of the car when I did and walked with me to the front porch.

We stood there for a long moment, facing each other and neither speaking nor moving. Slowly, I could feel us getting closer together and I asked, "Are you going to kiss me?"

He smiled. "I think it's traditional."

I nodded, unable to keep an answering smile from my face.

Gently, he leaned in the rest of the way and pulled me towards him, fastening his lips to mine. After a moments hesitation, I put my arms around his neck and returned the favour. It felt so good to finally let myself feel the love that he radiated that I didn't want to stop.

The kiss ended unexpectedly, though, when he pulled back sharply.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"I'm not sure. I just... I don't feel good all of a sudden."

I put I hand to his forehead and drew it back quickly in surprise. "Jake, you feel really feverish! Do you want me to drive you home? I'm not sure you should in this condition?"

He shrugged that off. "It's not that bad. I'll be fine."

I frowned. "If you're sure."

"I'll be fine. Really."

I sighed. "Okay, but call me when you get home."

"Sure. See you later, Bell." He kissed me once more, quickly, and I couldn't help but smile as I watched him driving off into the night.

I went inside dropping of my purse and jacket by the door and Charlie looked up from the couch.

"How was the movie?" he asked.

"Uh..." I searched my head for some detail I could bring up but none came to mind. "Good."

"Oh. Did you have fun?"

I blushed, remembering. "Yes."

"That's good."

I waited for him to say something else but he remained silent so I went to the phone and waited. Jacob lived not too far away so I doubted I would have to wait long. Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. Then half an hour.

**Jacob never called****. **


	7. Denial

I called Jacob the next day, hoping to hear that he was feeling better but no one came to the phone. I asked my dad if Billy had said anything but he said that he hadn't. I wondered if it was the same thing that had kept Mike home the night before or if it was something completely different and, perhaps, more serious.

Though I was almost certain that it was nothing out of the ordinary, I was still far more worried than I should have been, simply because I had no idea what was going on.

After three days, I finally got some news. It definitely wasn't just the flu. They thought it might be mono but they weren't sure. Regardless, Jacob still couldn't come to the phone. I was tempted to go down to the reservation and see for myself what was going on but he had some kind of quarantine up and was not taking visitors.

The afternoons seemed lonely and empty without his warm, friendly presence. The house seemed too silent without his laughing voice. I called again and again but everyday the answer was the same: "Jacob is too sick to come to the phone right now."

I researched Mononucleosis to see if I could find anything, not that it would make much of a difference – after all, anything I could find out on the internet, the doctors would be sure to think of. But as far as knew, Mono wasn't something that should be keeping him tied to his bed. Of course, it would be easier to form an opinion if anyone would tell me anything about what was going on.

For over a week, I waited in idle frustration for a change. Even my friends, noticing how testy I was, maintained something of a distance. I could feel it happening but I couldn't stop it. Something just wasn't right.

My father noticed it too and he did my best to assure me that things would be fine but I had difficulty believing him when he knew nothing more than I did. I don't think he was quite able to believe it either because as the days passed, it became clearer and clearer that he was just as worried as I was. I continued to wait.

When my cell phone rang and I recognized Jacob's house number, I answered it eagerly. "Hello?"

"Bella?" Jake's voice was coarse.

"Jake! How are you feeling? Is the Mono gone?"

His bitter laugh at that was turned into dry coughs. "No. And I don't think it's Mono."

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know," he rasped. "I've never had this before. Every part of me hurts and last time we checked my fever was almost high enough to kill me."

"What?"

"Yeah, that's what I've been saying since it started."

"I have to come down there!"

"No! I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Jake, what ever it is, I've already been exposed to it and I'm not sick"

"I don't think I'm sick."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I don't know. Bella, I'm scared."

"Jake!" I said, alarmed and worried, even more so than I'd been while I waited.

"I have to go," he said and I could hear pain and fear in his voice.

"Wait – Jacob!" But he was gone. I stared at the phone in horrified disbelief for a long moment. What was going on? Numbly, I set the phone in it's cradle and wondered what could possibly have done this to my friend.

I didn't learn anything new for three more days when Charlie told me that Jacob was better. It was so abrupt that it took me a minute to digest the information and figure out what he was telling me. How could Jacob – the Jacob who had called mere days ago in utter pain and terror – simply be better? And why hadn't he said anything to me about the fact?

I knew he was probably just busy and that I was being paranoid but nothing else about this had seemed to make sense. It nagged at the back of my mind. Eventually I gave in and called.

The line picked up on the third ring but it wasn't Jacob that answered.

"Hello?" said Billy.

"Hi, this is Bella. Can I speak to Jake please?"

"He's not here." Billy sounded... odd – not angry, just closed off, somehow.

"Well, can you tell him to call me when he gets back?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. Bye-" but he'd already hung up. "Well, isn't that special." I muttered under my breath as I put the phone away.

I heard nothing from Jacob and what frustrated me more than Billy's odd distance, more than being left out of the loop, and more than the fact that my afternoons were still mostly empty, was fact that Jacob had made no effort to talk to me. I would have thought that he would have taken the initiative to call me, since he never seemed to be there when I called.

I kept thinking that he was avoiding me – and then, of course, I would immediately scold myself for being so paranoid. But still... I couldn't quite convince myself that this all made sense. None of it seemed to and on the few occasions that I actually got a clue of what was going on, I only got more confused and Jacob was still very sick.

Christmas came... and went, and I could feel myself growing ever more distant from my friends, unable to anything, as concern for Jacob slowly took over my mind.

A full month after Jacob had fallen ill, I called again with new determination.

Billy picked up on the second ring. "Hello?" he said.

"Hi. This is Bella Swan and I'd like to speak to Jacob."

"He's not here." His voice was as closed off as it had been but there was an edge of something in it – fear perhaps, or pity.

"Where is he?"

"Not here." Billy repeated.

"Yes, you said that." I sighed. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No."

_Do you know anything? _I wanted to ask but I didn't. "Can you tell him to call me when he gets back?" I asked, my irritation plain in my voice.

"No."

I did a double take. The answer was so unexpected that it took me a moment to digest what he had said. "What?" I asked sharply.

"He doesn't want to talk to you," Billy said, coldly, distantly.

I choked. It was so abrupt, so unexpected, and so much of what I had feared would result. Even after everything that had happened with Edward, I had been a fool and allowed myself to trust again. And I had paid the price for it. I felt utterly numb. "Thank you, Billy," I said tonelessly. "That was just what I needed to know."

Billy took a deep breath as though he were about to say something but, though I listened, I heard nothing.

I hung up, feeling empty. I couldn't make myself hate him, couldn't make myself feel the pain, couldn't make myself regret. I was just... numb. And now I had no Jacob to make it all better.

Slowly and mechanically, I walked up to my bedroom. With the same deliberate motions, I changed, brushed my teeth, and climbed under the covers. I wondered all the while, what had happened.

It seemed that one by one, all the doors in my life were closing, shutting me out forever. Edward had left, leaving me wondering if he had ever loved me. Jacob had abandoned me, for some reason I could not think of, and in the pain the two of them had caused, I had pushed my friends away, leaving myself completely and utterly alone. Somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought kept returning that, perhaps, I had done this, that I had no one to blame but myself.

With these thoughts in my head, I drifted off to sleep.

The next day, I climbed into my faithful red truck and drove to Jacob's house for the first time in weeks. As I drove, I felt water on my cheeks and I realized that I had been crying. Perhaps I was not as numb as I'd thought.

I pulled up in front of the Black's red house and walked through the clean, white door, not even bothering to knock.

"What are you doing here?" Billy asked sharply, looking up from his paper.

I walked briskly over to the table he sat at, ignoring his question. "Where's Jacob?" I demanded.

Then, the answer that he had used every time I had asked that question. "He's not here."

I slammed my fists down on the stout wooden table, almost spilling the coffee that sat my Billy's elbow. "Damn it, Billy, where is he?" I shouted.

His expression was hard to decipher. It wasn't the anger that I had expected to see or even mild irritation. It was concern – even pity, though I couldn't say who it was that was worrying him. "He's at the La Push beach."

I turned on my heel and left. The numbness had been shattered and as I drove towards the beach that I had been to only a few times before, I faced a barrage of emotions that I couldn't feel the night before. I felt hate, I felt pain, I felt regret, and not just for Jacob. All the feelings about for Edward broke free in all their force and I realized that I had finally broken through the numbness. But I was hardly healed.

I turned onto the road that led down to the beach. I parked and stepped out onto the sandy ground scanning the area for Jacob. It was warm for a January day in Forks but it was still cool enough that the beach was thinly populated. I found Jacob quickly but not in the company I had expected to find him in.

He stood among a group of four other Quileutes, two of whom had names I knew. One was Embry, Jacob's friend who had so recently begun to act strangely. The other was Sam Uley, leader of the Quileute 'protectors', a person whom Jacob had disliked and, even, perhaps, feared.

I pulled my jacket tighter about me and walked across the sand towards them. They were walking towards me but though I grew closer and closer, they didn't seem to notice me.

I stopped moving and called out, "Jake!"

As a unit, they stopped, none of them moving. Then Sam turned and said something to Jacob in a low voice. The boy nodded and walked towards me his hands tucked in his pockets.

I examined him for a long moment in confusion. The most noticeable difference was his hair, once long and silky, which he had chopped off in favour of the military buzz that had been adopted by the rest of the group. Despite the cool weather, he wore only a thin flannel shirt which he left unbuttoned against the wind. His face, which was usually so warm, so friendly, so alive, was as cold and closed off as his father's.

"What do you want?" he asked without preamble.

"I want to talk."

He looked back at the four that waited behind him and then looked back at me. He shrugged. "We're talking."

"What's going on, Jake?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not stupid, Jake. Why have you been avoiding me?"

He bit his lip and then said, "Bella, I don't think we should be friends."

It was funny how everyone kept saying that. "Your opinion isn't the only one that counts."

"Look, Bella, we have to end this... whatever it is we have. It's not good for you."

"Is that how it is."

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

"Fine." I turned and called over my shoulder, "Have fun with your friends."

I managed not to look back until I'd gotten to my truck and when I did, I saw that Jacob hadn't moved. I wanted to go back, to apologize and make everything better, but then I remembered that if Jacob had wanted to talk, he'd had weeks. Refusing to think about it any more, I drove away.

A few minutes down the road, I saw another familiar face. I rolled down the window and called out, "Quil!"

The boy looked up and waved.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," he said. "I'm just weirded out, you know? Like, the whole thing with Embry and then Jacob, and... I just can help wondering if I'll be next."

I wanted to say something to reassure him but what could I say? Don't worry, I'm sure they'll get over it? Don't worry, I'm sure it won't happen to you? The truth was, I knew less about what was going on than he did and there was nothing I could say or do to make him feel better.

"I know," I said finally, and he nodded.

"Talk to you later?" I asked and he nodded again.

"Sure."

Unsatisfied, I rolled up my window and sped up until I was going at the speed limit. It was no wonder that Quil was worried. As secretive as the group was, even I couldn't help but wonder and worry and he had had more taken away from him.

When I got home, I sat down on the couch not sure what to do. I had expected a slightly different outcome from my adventure today and I had certainly expected it to take longer. Instead it had left me almost the entire day and no plans.

A thought came to me and I picked up the phone, dial a number that I hadn't called in far to long.

"Hello?" said Angela Weber after two rings.

"Hi, Angela. It's Bella."

"Bella!" She said happily. "Are you doing any better?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You were so worried about your friend."

"Yeah, I got pretty stressed out."

"We could tell," Angela replied and I winced. I hadn't realized I'd been that bad. "Anyway," she continued, "How's he doing? Is he better?"

"Well... Sort of, I guess."

"Hm. That doesn't sound good. Do you want to talk about it?"

_I love you, Angela, _I thought. She was just so perfectly empathetic. But... "Thanks, but not really. I was actually wondering if you were up for a girls' night out kind of thing."

"That sounds really fun, Bella, but, um... I actually have plans. Ben and I are going to a concert."

"Oh," I said. I had been looking forward to a date with her and though I was relieved that she wasn't angry with me, it still left me alone and with nothing to do.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Tomorrow?"

"Sure," I replied,, trying not to let disappointment colour my tone.

"Alright. Call me tomorrow and we'll make plans."

"Sounds good."

"Great. See you then," she said and then she hung up. Frustated. I set the phone down and collapsed once more on the couch.

After a while, another thought struck me – one that didn't require the agreement of another person – and the more I thought about it, the better it sounded.

Finally I slipped back out the door and got back into my truck. I took a route that was only vaguely familiar to me – after all, I'd only driven it once – and at first, I missed the turn I'd been looking for. I did find the right road eventually, though, and by the time I came to the end of it, my memory seemed to be becoming clearer.

At the end of the gravel road was a large circle with three paths leading out of it into the forest. Taking the direction that I thought was correct, I set off into the woods. It took me a very short time to realize that, as good or bad as my memory was, I had very little idea of where I was or where I was going, but every now and then, I would see a fallen log or twisted branch that stuck out in my memory.

It took me longer to realize how unprepared I was for this. I was tired, and hungry, and in the forest's shade, I was uncomfortably cold. I would likely have turned back if it were not for two things. First, I refused to return home again, with nothing to do – again – and knowing that I had failed. The second reason – and really the more important one – was that didn't know which way home was.

I had been stupid and I hadn't thought about this before I left. I'd been too anxious too escape my life and too hopeful that this would help. Most likely, all that would happen would be that I would get hopelessly lost – make that more hopelessly lost – and then I would hurt myself and I would get Charlie and Renee worried in the mean time. But at this point, I was about as safe going forward as I was going back and so I continued.

It took my a long time, and a great deal of fear and confusion, but after hours of searching through the wilderness, I saw a familiar birch tree arch and a ray of warm sunshine streaming through it. I had found my clearing.


	8. Old Friends

I stepped out into the dim sunlight, just as Edward had done a year before, and froze – not in fear, but in some kind of disappointed anticipation. I don't know what I had expected – perhaps some kind of release of the pain that had gripped my heart since Edward had left in September – but I did not expect this... nothing. I had been searching for this place where Edward had revealed his secret – one of many – for almost two weeks and now that I had found it, the only result was to bring the memory of Edward's betrayal to the forefront of my mind.

When I had seen the birch archway that led into the glade, I had been glad that Jacob's 'illness' had kept him away from me on the day that I finally found this place; I hadn't wanted his oddly cold and distant behavior to intrude on the too perfect memories that I associated with this place. Now, I only wished that it could have held anything that could be intruded upon.

For a long moment I sat unmoving, simply watching the grass swaying this way and that in the wind. I closed my eyes and listened to the breeze, wishing it would blow through me and take with it the pain. But, somehow, I didn't think it would work. I'd been wishing for the pain to go away for months now and I still winced every time I heard his name or sat beside his empty seat in school.

The dreams had not helped either. They came three, four, even five times a week, never the same and yet not different. They were all focused around the same themes: age, death, loneliness, always twisting familiarity into nightmare. They seemed to be getting worse rather than better excepting only the short time when I had found an echo of my love for Edward in Jacob. Of course, the pain doubled when he left me. I had made a mistake in opening my heart to trust once more.

And it was the same with both of them. 'I don't love you any more' would have hurt, but I could understand that. This... this only left me confused and poisoned all my memories of us with doubt. How was I to separate the truth from the lies?

_I wish I'd never come to Forks. _

My eyes popped open in surprise. Where had that thought come from? As miserable as I was, surely I wouldn't give up that year – the happiest of my life... or would I? Knowing it would all end in pain and betrayal, would I exchange a year of bliss for a release from pain if I were given the choice? I sighed and pulled my legs in to my chest. No, I decided. As with every thing in life, the memories were mine and they were hard earned just like as the pain was. No I wouldn't go back, even if I could. I could only go on

But that didn't mean that I wouldn't stop the pain any way I could. _There is one sure thing that would end the pain forever. _My mind shied away from that and I sighed. Perhaps not any way. As sweet as the thought release was, as miserable as I was now, I still had too much to live for to end my life.

I felt a drop of cool water on my bare arm and I lifted it, examining the wet spot on my wrist. Another drop, this one on my shoulder. I relaxed my arm and turned my face up to the cloud covered sky. I closed my eyes and let myself go to the rain.

So much had changed in a year. The rain which had kept my mother and me away for seventeen years was now a familiar and comforting presence that I had grown completely accustomed to. As for myself, I had gone from being more or less content, to ecstatic, to utterly miserable and unwilling to trust any one. Maybe that, too, would change, in time.

"Hello."

My eyes snapped open and I scrambled to my feet, my heart thudding in my ears.

Standing in front of my was man my height that still maintained an imposing and predatory aura. His skin was dusky and his eyes were so dark they could be mistaken for black but I knew better. We two had met before.

"Laurent."

He inclined his head. "I must say, I'm quite surprised to see you here. I thought Carlisle had moved on with his coven."

"They did," I said, more sharply than was necessary.

"Weren't you some kind of pet of theirs? I didn't think they would leave you behind."

"Yeah, so did I," I said bitterly.

"Hm. That's a pity."

I looked at him quizzically. While I agreed, I didn't understand how it made any difference to him. "Yeah, it is," I said slowly. "It was pretty quiet when they left but some campers have been disappearing. I assume that that is just because you're in town."

His eyebrows drew together. "Mmm." was his only reply.

"On that subject, I thought you had gone and joined the family down in Denali."

"I did. Of course, I am not nearly as strict about my diet." His red eyes glinted and I shuddered.

"Not to sound rude but, what are you doing here?"

"I'm actually here as a favour to Victoria."

My heart skipped a beat and I froze. The last time I had met Victoria, she had tried – and nearly succeeded – to kill me. Since then, our relationship had not improved. "Really."

"Oh, yes. She's been... busy lately and so she asked me to come have a look around. When I found their house had been vacant for some time, I was sure all her devious planning had been for naught when you show up, just as I was preparing to leave."

I began to move my right foot closer to the edge of the clearing but the instant my muscle tensed his eyes darted toward the movement. I froze, all my muscles tense and my breath coming in quick gasps.

"What kind of planning," I asked weakly, my voice breaking on the last word.

"Well she was quite upset after what happened with James – understandably given how utterly attached immortals become to their mates – and she was taken with some impulsive notion of revenge. She was always more controlled by her emotions than she was by her own mind – always acting on the first idea that came into her head.

"We were friends long before she ever met James and so when she asked me to come and find you for her, I decided to come, though I'd never shed a tear for James, even if I could." He smiled slightly at that.

"But why me? I was his victim, not his killer." My voice was uneven and far too high to maintain the illusion of calm. Every instinct screamed at me to run, to hide, to escape the monster in front of me but every minute movement of my feet drew his immediate attention and I knew from experience that running did no good with creatures such as this.

"You must have gotten some idea of how twisted her mind is from your last meeting – even I could tell that when we met. I believe what she said was that it was fitting that she should kill the mate of the man who killed hers – and, as you may have figured out, she doesn't like you. It seems to me, though that she has something up her sleeve that she won't reveal even to me."

I swallowed. "So what are you going to do?"

"I think, the circumstances being what they are, I will save you from Victoria's wrath."

I would have relaxed except that his voice dropped and his lips pulled back in something of a snarl. I knew, then, that there was no chance that I was going to survive this and instinct took over. I ran.

Amazingly, I managed to get to the other side of the clearing before his ice cold hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me in. I struggled madly, sure that it would not work, but then, unexpectedly, Laurent's grip loosened.. I knew I should run but fear and confusion had frozen my legs. The vampire turned back to me, his prey, and I saw a long gash across his face that had not been there a moment before.

He lunged.

And out of the corner of my eye, a mahogany blur appeared from the trees and knocked me out of the path of glistening fangs. I gasp in pain fear and surprise as my back slammed into the solid ground and I blinked, trying to clear the colourful swirls and sparks from my vision.

Intelligent black eyes gazed back into mine from a canine face that was somehow familiar. Then that face disappeared from my view as Laurent tore the poor creature away and threw him across the field.

He knelt beside me, his hands on my shoulder and jaw. As hard as I tried, I couldn't break his iron grasp. My neck was stretched so that I could feel the pulse of blood under fragile skin. I was done.

In that moment, I found the release I had been hoping for for months. The pain and fear disappeared from my heart in that moment that I knew death was upon me – in that moment of acceptance. Still, it was odd that my thoughts should go him.

There was a streak of silver across my vision and something heavy slammed into Laurent, freeing me. Now that death was not certain, I was not so willing to give in to it but I could not seem to make my legs move. Instead, I watched, dumbfounded, as the immortal fought with the gray wolf, tears streaming down my face for the poor creature who had tried to save me.

Knowing vampires as well as I did, I knew without a doubt that the wolf was dead, yet somehow, the creature seemed not only to be holding it;s own, but injuring it's opponent. Laurent pale skin was broken in many places and his clothes were torn.

Still, the battle wasn't one sided. The wolf was definitely favoring his right side and he was bleeding freely from a number of wounds. As I watched, I saw them healing before my eyes – something I was pretty sure wolves didn't do naturally. All the same, Laurent finally got a grip on the wolf and I heard the crack echo through the woods as he broke the animal's leg and threw him to the ground, snapping a gray foreleg beneath his foot.

I screamed and the noise caught Laurent's attention. He turned and strode toward me with slow deliberate steps. Somehow, I managed to make it to my feet but I wasn't able to do anything before Laurent snapped out one stone-hard fist and send me crashing into the smaller of the two birch trees that marked the entry to the clearing. The tree snapped under the force and in that noise, I didn't hear my rips crack. But I felt them

It took me precious seconds to get my lungs working, and once I had, the pain was so much that I almost stopped again. My vision grayed and I felt consciousness slipping away but then something cold and wet shoved against my shoulder.

I blinked and looked over to see the mahogany wolf inches from my face. It whined and licked my face. It whined again and then disappeared from my vision. Fear roiled within me once more and rent as he came toward me... and then, abruptly, stopped. I stared at him in confusion until I saw the feet of three more wolves – one black and two brown – go padding silently past me.

Slowly Laurent backed away, only to stop in his tracks as a blur of silver fur and claws crashed into him. Miraculously the gray wolf had returned to continue the fight. Then the others joined in.

I watched in mixed horror and amazement as the four wolves attacked again and again until I felt the soft touch of human skin against my arm. I jumped but froze when a familiar voice whispered gently in my ear, "Bella, I'm so sorry," and he lifted my into his arms.

"Jacob!" Despite what he had put me through, I felt only relief at his return and I felt safe in the shield of his warm arms.

"I'll get you out of here, Bella. I'll keep you safe." He coiled the powerful muscles in his legs and ran into the forest, at a speed that that didn't seem humanly possible. Quickly, the clearing and it's currant inhabitants disappeared behind us.

I let my mind drift as Jacob ran, for once unconcerned trees rushing past us. Occasionally Jacob would stumble and I would gasp in pain as his hands tightened on my aching ribs. When that happened, I would pull myself closer against his unnaturally warm chest.

After some time I felt the gentle rain grow to a steady poor and the rocking motion as jacob ran ceased.

"Bella, I'm taking you to the hospital. I'm going to have to set you down for a second."

I blinked and looked around. We were at the trail head where I had left my truck. I nodded and he gently set me down on the damp ground.

Once I was out of his arms, he hurried over to the passenger door of the car and tried without success to open it.

"Keys – Bella, do you have keys?"

I blinked again and then patted my pockets looking for them. "Um... here." I handed it to him and he rushed back to the car and opened the door. Then he came back to me and lifted me smoothly into his arms and carried me to the truck and strapped me into the leather seat.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." As he was heading to the drivers side, I caught his arm. "Uh, Jake?" I said, "You might want to put some shorts on."

He glanced down quickly and then jumped away from me. "Ah. I'll be right back." Then he turned and darted into the forest.

I felt oddly ill at ease without Jacob there. While he had held me, I had been comforted by his presence and some subconscious indication of strength had filled me with security. Now that he was gone, all the fear that had risen with Laurent's arrival came flooding back. My mind flashed to the clearing where Laurent might still be battling with the four wolves. But who was winning. Surely, even with numbers on their side, simple wolves couldn't stand against someone who was immortal – more or less. And hadn't there been a fifth wolf? The dark one who had knocked me out of the path of Laurent's strike. I remembered the strange sense of familiarity that had filled me as he stood over me and tried to protect me. That was not normal behavior for a wolf.

The door of the truck almost screamed before I saw that it was only Jacob, now clothed, climbing into the drivers seat. For someone who had only just received his license, he was rather confident driving at the speed he was going at. I wasn't sure how long my truck would be able to sustain the speed he was pushing it to. Instead of worrying about it, I decided to think about something else.

"Jacob, the wolves..."

"They'll be fine. They know what they're doing."

"What? But Laurent – they'll get hurt."

"Bella -" he choked before he could finish the sentence and he slammed a large fist into the dash board of my truck, living a sizable dent.

"Bella," he said, clearly choosing his words carefully, "You're an intelligent person. What if I told you that you saw were not wolves... exactly."

"What do you mean?" I asked, bewildered.

He practically growled in response and I saw that he was shaking. "They're -" He choked again, and was left coughing and sputtering. After a minute spent trying to regain his breath, he said. "Bella, with all your experience with those damn bloodsuckers, how is it that you haven't guessed that there... are other – different – creatures."

I was shocked. My first thought was that he knew something he shouldn't and we were both in danger. I had started to deny any knowledge of the subject when another thought struck me. It all made sense when I put everything together.

The mysterious fifth wolf that disappeared when Jacob reappeared, the other wolves who had attacked Laurent when any normal wolves would run away, Jacobs illness followed by his association with the 'protectors', the abnormal heat that radiated from his body, the miraculous healing of the white wolf, and Jacob's knowledge of the vampires, all painted a clear picture when I took the time to look at it all together. A single word flashed through my head. _Werewolf. _

Of course vampires would not be the only paranormal creatures inhabiting the world. And he was right. There was no way that I could not believe it after all I'd been through with Edward.

"You're a werewolf," I whispered, "You and Sam and the rest."

He didn't say anything or nod but I could tell by the way a certain tension seemed to flow out of his body that I had gotten it right.

"But how are... the others... going to kill Laurent?"

"He has a name?" Jacob asked, his voice a mixture of surprise and disgust.

"Yes," I snapped, and then gasped at the pain it caused to my cracked ribs. "So do you and so do I, for that matter."

"That's not what I meant," Jacob said. "You know him?"

"Yes. We had some difficulty him and his coven last spring," I said, trying not to disturb my torso.

"His coven?"

"It got... disbanded sort of. He joined a different coven and we thought the problem was finished. Guess not."

"What happened? What did you do that would make him want to hunt you?"

I shook my head. "Not him. Victoria."

"His mate? The redhead whose been lurking around the edges of our borders?"

I nodded and then shook my head. "Not his mate. Old friends. Jake, my ribs hurt. Can we talk about this later."

"Oh, crap. I forgot about that. No, don't talk, just try to relax. We're almost there."


	9. Reunions

It had been much easier to fall asleep that night than I had expected given the tenderness of my taped ribs and the unfamiliar surroundings of the hospital. Perhaps I was just too tired to care. For the first night in a long time, I had a pleasant dream.

I couldn't remember what it had been when I awoke but a lingering feeling of happiness remained after, for once, completely untainted by thoughts of Edward. I blinked and opened my eyes and the blissful happiness disappeared. I closed my eyes and wished I could fall back a sleep and recapture the dream, but escape was never that easy.

"Bella." The voice was familiar but twisted with a mix of pain, anger, shock, and relief. It brought with it numerous memories, both happy and painful.

I did my best to keep any emotions out of my voice as I responded. "Edward," I said, without opening my eyes.

"Your alive!" he said, the pain and anger gone.

"Yes,"I said. _No thanks to you, _I added internally.

"Bella, I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you."

_Funny, _I thought, _I didn't think you gave a damn whether I lived or died. _Just more lies. I kept my eyes tightly shut and didn't respond.

"What were you thinking, going to that meadow? I said to be careful – to be safe!"

My eyes flew open. "So what – It's my fault that I got three broken ribs and my arm snapped in half?"

"Bella, that's not what I meant."

"I was thinking that I hurt, Edward. Your heart might have stopped but mine still beats and mine can still be broken." Tears were welling up in my eyes from the pain and anger that I had kept pent up inside me for far to long. "Even if you didn't actually love me, I think I've at least earned the respect to be told – by you – what you were planning to do. Even if all our time together was nothing but a game to you, I think I deserve that much."

Pain filled his expression at my words and I almost apologized but then I remembered the nightmares and cold and distant note that he had left for me. I gritted my teeth and refused to give in. "Bella, it wasn't a game. I did love you, more than I have ever loved anything.. I still do."

"Somehow, Edward," I said bitterly, "abandoning your 'soulmate', without notice, never to be heard from again, to the wrath of an insane vampire – all for my own good, of course – doesn't seem all that loving."

"This isn't entirely one-sided, you know. You nearly did the same thing last spring."

"That was different," I snapped.

"Was it?"

"Yes!" I said, pushing myself into a sitting position and then wincing.

"Bella?" Edward said worriedly.

I pushed his hands away. "Then, there were more important things at stake. Then, there was something to be gained by my sacrifice. This gained you nothing!" I closed my eyes and new tears streamed down courses already traced by the first ones. "And it may have lost us everything," I added more softly.

"I just wanted you to be safe," Edward said in a small voice.

"From what?" I said sharply, my eyes snapping to his face.

"From me."

"Not to damage your inflated ego, but you are not the most dangerous thing out there. You have never put me in any real danger except by your absence."

He grimaced. He said nothing for a long moment. "I really was wrong, wasn't I?" he asked softly.

I nodded sadly.

"Is it too late for apologies?" he asked.

"It's never too late for apologies. Forgiveness... may come later."

"I'm so sorry," he said.

I bit my lip and nodded. "So am I."

"Is it any consolation to know that you're safe now?"

"What?" I asked, shock and confusion taking the place of pain.

He leaned in and tried to take my hand but sighed when I flinched and pushed himself to the back of his seat. "Laurent is dead. We found his... remains on our way back." He shuddered slightly. "I don't know what could have done that to him – to destroy him so completely."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. "Oh I expect that was Jacob." I laughed again at the horrified expression that crossed his face at my words, then I continued, "Not that it makes any difference. He wasn't the vampire I was worried about."

"Then who -" he broke of suddenly and I nodded.

"Victoria."

"Why – How do you know?"

"Laurent said that he had come as a favour to her and Jacob said that the -" I couldn't quite make myself say 'werewolves'. It sounded strange enough in my head, I was sure it would sound utterly ridiculous out loud "That he's been having some difficulty with a red-headed female vampire."

"Jacob Black?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Of course you would be drawn to the next most dangerous creatures here as soon as I left."

"Now, what the heck is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, it's simply that -" He stopped suddenly and I saw his entire body stiffen, tensing to spring.

"What is it?" I asked, but then I heard what had set him off, or so I assumed. Someone was coming down the hallway to my room. Immediately my mind flashed to Laurent's words, _she was quite upset after what happened with James and she was taken with some impulsive notion of revenge. _

Then the intruder poked his dark head through the doorway.

"Bella?"

"Jake," I called back, very aware of the tension radiating of Edward's deathly still body.

"I -" then he, too stopped, in mid sentence, his muscles tensing until he was practically shaking. "What are you doing here?" he growled. It took me a moment to realize that the question and the venom in his voice were directed at Edward rather than me and a mix of relief and concern washed over me. While I was happy that he wasn't upset with me and I wasn't pleased with Edward either, I got the impression that this was something more personal and more dangerous. And as much pain as Edward had caused me, I didn't want Jacob hurting him – or vice versa.

"I'm paying a long overdue visit," Edward replied coolly. Most would have thought him perfectly cordial but I knew him and I could hear the cold fury in his voice.

"Oh, is that it? Thought you'd just drop by and say hello? Do you have any idea how much pain you've caused her?" The shaking had grown to shudders that rippled along Jacob's body.

"Yes." I was fairly sure that I was the only one who heard the tiny quaver in his voice. "I was wrong. I'm trying to rectify that."

"So what, you're gonna drag your bloodsucker butt back here and just make everything better, huh?"

My eyes were flicking back and forth between the two of them as the exchange progressed.

"It's slightly more complicated than that. I need to know what's going on with Victoria."

"We don't need your help," Jacob said acidly. "In case you didn't notice, we've been doing fine on our own."

Edward's eyes flicked to me, and then back to the Quileute, as if to say, _Yes, I can see that. _"I have a responsibility to do what I can."

"So all of a sudden you actually give a damn what happens over here?"

"Ladies present," Edward murmured under his breath.

"You guys got no heart – no soul – just cold calculations. You only 'care' about something when it's convenient – just like with her."

That hurt. It hurt because it was so close to what I had been saying to myself since Edward had left, And it hurt even more because a part of me – a very small part – had not given up, had not stopped loving him.

"It doesn't matter what I say or do now because the truth is that your hate springs from prejudice rather than real experience." Edward was one of the most patient people I knew – doubtless one of those things that came with everlasting life – but I could tell he was reaching the end of it.

"Don't you even think about saying I haven't really experienced your kind. I've been experiencing these fricking leeches since you took off to go frolicking across America with your buddies." The Quileute was shaking violently and his figure was beginning to blur around the edges so that I could almost see it beginning to bend into wolf form. My breathing quickened.

Edward sighed, visibly forcing himself to relax. "Jacob, calm down."

Jacob froze, his hard black eyes intent on Edward's. All the same, it was clear he was not calm in the slightest.

"I did not come here to play dominance games with you, wolf." Then a moment later, presumably in response to a stray thought of Jacob's, he said, "Not here." He rose and smiled, baring his sharp white teeth. "Perhaps we should take this outside."

Finally I found my voice. "No! Both of you sit down." I pressed a hand to my ribs where the yelling was putting too much stress on the damaged bones. Edward's face softened when he saw my pain and he stepped forward to help, but at a look, he did as I asked. Jacob stood frozen, seeming not quite able to decide between distress and anger. An odd noise came from his throat that switched between a whine and a growl and his gaze continued to flick between me, Edward and the empty chair.

"Sit," I said more firmly. He sat but his muscles remained tense and ready. He was still prepared to fight. "Now look, I don't know what's going on between you two and I don't care. But both of you are going to get a grip or so help me I will... do something. I'm not particularly happy with either of you but I refuse to let you tear each other apart – and I refuse to choose between the two of you. So if you want to have this stupid vendetta against each other, that's fine but don't let it affect me or the other people in Forks."

Both were silent when I had finished. Edward looked up at me meekly; Jacob was still shaking with anger.

Then, "I'm not the only one that hurt her and you know it. You were there." Edward's voice was twisted with pain and it had an edge of defensiveness. I could tell that though they hadn't spoken aloud, the conversation had continued.

"Shut up!" I practically yelled, but what was said was said.

Jacob flew to his feet, shaking more violently than before. "You had a choice you fucking leech!"

Edward's eyebrows drew together and he stood slowly. "Jacob, you should leave."

Jacob's voice was choked with anger as he responded. "For her," and he disappeared out the door.

I turned to Edward, my face twisted with angry disbelief. "Well that was a great idea, don't you think?" I shook my head. "You can be a real jerk sometimes."

Edward didn't respond, understanding that excuses would help. I rolled over, turning my back on him.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asked.

"Do whatever you want," I said. But I listened anxiously, and was relieved when I heard him settle back into his seat and his breathing resume its steady, constant rhythm.

The next day – or at least I was fairly sure it was the next day – my father came fairly early to see me. He cried and I assured him that I was fine but the image was harder to maintain when speaking much louder than a whisper caused my ribs to ache. He couldn't stay long, though he clearly would have liked to. He couldn't simply abandon his work.

I was also visited by a larger portion of the Cullen family. Emmet and Rosalie had returned to Africa but Alice and Jasper came along with Esme. Carlisle, who had resumed his position at the hospital, also dropped by. On the whole, they seemed apologetic, especially Esme who had an eerie way of empathizing completely with everyone. Alice seemed mostly happy to be back, and was as cheerful as ever... almost. Jasper... I was never entirely sure what Jasper was feeling. I wondered if it was because of the control he had over them in other people.

All the while, Edward hovered in the back ground, not intruding but not leaving either.

I still was not sure how I felt about him. After what he'd done and the pain he'd caused me, I knew it would be perfectly natural – even, perhaps, expected – that I would be angry, and for the most part, I was. I hated him for shattering my trust and for the emotional pain that he had caused me. But even to me, the emotions seemed false.

I couldn't help but feel relief that he had returned, despite what he'd done. I was fairly sure it wasn't healthy but I was still comforted by the knowledge that he hadn't left yet. Perhaps he'd learned. Perhaps it wouldn't make a difference, regardless of whether or not I could bring myself to forgive him.

Whatever the outcome, I was sure it was a step towards healing.


	10. Negotiations

Negotiations

I was let out of the hospital a few days later but my ribs were still sore enough that anything besides lying in bed was uncomfortable if not out right painful. Of course, it didn't make difference given that Charlie was afraid to let me out of the house lest I get injured again.

We had decided to say that I had been hit by a car and leave out the forest completely. This was a relief because it meant I wouldn't have to explain to anyone – other then the Cullens and Jacob that is – what I was doing in the forest. Unfortunately, the car story was just the kind of thing that would spark Charlie's parental paranoia, even if I would recover completely in a month or two.

After leaving the hospital, the number of visitors dropped significantly, though Alice still stopped by every day, more or less. After that first disastrous visit, Jacob didn't return. I'd asked my father repeatedly to convey the message to billy that I would like nothing better than to see Jacob again but he never came.

It wasn't that I didn't like being alone so much with Alice, I was merely not satisfied with just her company. I wanted Jacob – my soft, warm, human Jacob – whom I had come to love and trust, just in time to lose him. Had I gotten him back just in time for him to lose his love and trust in me?From everything that had happened, in the past months, it seemed I was developing a gift for impossible relationships. First with Edward, and then Jacob – I wondered if it wouldn't be better to just give up and not let myself trust. But it was just an errant thought, not the reality of weeks before. For the first time since September, I felt in control.

Unfortunately, control didn't solve the immediate problem that the boy I loved hated – or feared – me and I despised the boy who wanted nothing more than my love. And my forgiveness.

No. I didn't despise him. Once I had thought I hated him for the pain he had caused me, for the betrayal, but now... now I was simply tired. Tired of the hate, tired of the fear, tired of the pain. I wasn't numb, I was merely too exhausted to maintain the burning emotion I'd felt for him once.

But that wasn't what really nagged at me. I knew that I regretted what he had done and I was willing to accept that his actions – however misguided – were made in the hopes that they would keep me safe, but I couldn't understand how the rest of his family – whom I'd already begun to envision myself as a part of – had been so willing to leave everything behind, including me.

I opened my eyes and looked at Alice, sitting next to me and reading while she left me to my thoughts.

"Alice?" I said, and she set down her book and looked at me, her wide eyes intent on my face. "Why did you leave?"

She frowned. "Do you mean me personally, or the family as a whole?"

"Both."

"The family left because Edward was leaving."

"Simple as that? What about me?"

Alice looked at me sadly. "On the whole, our family is quite fond of you. We appreciate what you've done for Edward after a century and a half of being alone. But Edward was leaving and he needed us there if he was ever going to get over it."

"Carlisle?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"We speak often and often it's about you. He likes you, and he didn't think it was a good idea to leave you behind. But Edward insisted and... and as much as he loves you, you were human and in eighty years you would be dead but Edward is more lasting."

I gasped at the harsh bluntness to her words. All my fears, all my worries for the future thrown back in my face as an excuse to more pain. It didn't help that I knew I would still die, even though Edward had returned with his family. "And you?" I asked.

She sighed. "I left because Edward needed my support and because I knew he'd want me to be watching you. I didn't really approve of his decision but he was going to stand by it and it would be unhealthy for the family as a whole to make him face his choices alone. Even if it would be fair.

"What about me?" I asked again, softly. She understood.

"Bella, I could see that things were going to be very difficult for him, not only having to be separated, but knowing that you were going to hate him for it -"

"Don't tell me things were hard for him!" I snapped. "This was his decision, he had a choice, and he denied me even the chance to say goodbye. Do you have any idea what it's like not only knowing that the person you love no longer loves you, but left wondering whether they ever loved you in the first place?"

She looked at me sadly. "Bella, I may not read minds but is clear to me, as it is to everyone else in the family, that he loves you deeply. I saw it all that night, his mouth fastening around your throat, your neck snapping with the force of it – my throat was aching with the thought of it – and all this served only to pull him closer toward the breaking point. I knew then that it was impossible that you would survive – the lust strengthens us, you see, and we would not be able to fight our best against our own brother. Then you said his name and the vision vanished as though it had never been. I have never seen Edward in as much pain as when he realized how close he had come to taking your life." Tears were streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't bear this.

"Even after we left," Alice continued, "he couldn't stay away entirely. He returned to deliver his blasted note in the hopes that you would be convinced he didn't love you and that that knowledge would lessen the pain. He watched for a few days to make sure that you stayed on your feet and then he came back to the family. To tell the truth, we weren't sure that he would be able to stay on his feet.

"Then, when I saw... when I saw Laurent attack, there was no hesitation. He needed to save you, even knowing he would be too late. When I began to see blurred images of you at the hospital, I was almost afraid to tell him because I didn't know what was going to happen. For the first time in my life, I had no idea at all what the future held. But when he saw you..." Words seemed to fail her.

"So, you think it was real?"

She nodded. "I know it was real. But my opinion is irrelevant. What do you think?"

I sighed and collapsed back into the pillows on my bed. "I don't know what to think anymore. Before... Before he left, I would have said yes, it was real – beyond doubt. After – and with the letter – I would not hesitate to say it wasn't. Now... one of the things he said was a lie and don't know what to believe."

She sighed again, sadly. "That's what I was afraid of."

A moment later Alice looked up in surprise – an action which in turn surprised me. Alice was never surprised – just as you'd expect for someone who can see the future.

"Victoria?" I asked, my heart all but stopping.

She shook her head. "Vitoria wouldn't bother to use a car."

Once she had drawn my attention to it, I heard the car engine die, the car door slam, and then the heavy footsteps approaching the door. I ran downstairs as quickly as my ribs would allow, curiosity taking the place of fear. I almost collapsed with joyful relief when I opened the front door and saw Jacob walking up towards me.

"Jake!" I called.

"Hi, Bella," he said as he stepped into the house. He didn't seem angry which was an improvement over the last time I'd seen him but he hardly seemed cheerful. He sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "It stinks in here. You've got one of the leeches here, don't you?"

I gritted my teeth. "Alice is here, yes."

"I have a message. From Sam."

"Fire away."

"Tell the bloodsuckers that the treaty is still in effect. They stay off our land and out of our business."

I frowned. "This is about Victoria isn't it?"

He didn't answer.

"That's stupid, Jake. Vampires are tough and the Cullens are just as tough and they know more about them. Maybe you could at least tell them what you know. They could help."

"We don't need their help!" he snapped. "You can tell them -"

I shook my head. Something had snapped. "No, Jake. Tell them yourself. I'm not some messenger to run back and forth between you and the Cullens.

"Yeah? Just what are you, exactly?"

My eyes narrowed. "I thought I was your friend. Clearly I was mistaken."

"It's not... It's not like that."

"Then what is it like, Jacob?"

He shook his head. "This can't work, Bella. My purpose now is to protect and maintain human life. The Cullens -" he said the name as though it left a vile taste in his mouth "- and the rest of their kind, cannot survive without destroying it. I can't condone that and i can't accept that."

"I'm not a Cullen! I'm no different than i was before they came back."

"That's not what i meant. You're not the problem. It's your leech buddies. I can't welcome something as destructive as they are."

"First, I'm not asking you to welcome them, I'm just saying that I don't want to be separated from you. You don't have to do anything with the vampires except tell them what you know – which you should do , it's stupid not to. Second, the Cullens put a lot of effort into keeping the humans in this area safe. They've restricted their diet – which from what i know is a lot harder than it sounds – and have kept other vampires out of the area. They certainly haven't 'destroyed human life' as you put it.

"I can name a few."

"Yeah? Who?"

"What about the rest of his family? It doesn't matter that they're still walking and talking, he still killed all of them."

"They would have died if he hadn't stepped in!"

"Maybe that wouldn't have been a bad thing."

"How dare you say that? Carlisle has saved more lives than I can count – including mine!"

"He wasn't the one I was worried about."

"Edward dying would not be a good thing." I practically snarled.

"How can you say that after what he did to you?"

"He was trying to keep me safe." I couldn't believe i was actually defending him when i had thought i was in complete agreement with Jacob.

"Isn't that sweet of him," said Jacob, his voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "He sounds like such a nice guy."

"How would you know?" I snapped, "You refuse to even talk to him – heck, most of the time you refuse to talk to me."

He was shaking, just as he had when he had met Edward at the hospital.

"Is there a problem?" came a soft, high voice from the stairs. Alice must have heard us arguing and come down to see what was going on.

Jacob was shaking so quickly now that he was blurring. Again, I could almost see the form a a wolf inside his own. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were flicking back and forth between me and Alice.

"Bella," Alice said softly, "Come stand behind me."

Normally I would have refused – after all, this was Jacob – but something in her tone made me realize the danger I was in. Moving slowly, I stepped away from Jacob and closer to Alice.

"Jacob," Alice said, her voice still soft, careful, "What do you need to say?"

He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. Then he said, through gritted teeth, "The treaty is still on. You stay away and let us take care of our business."

"We have refrained from indulging ourselves on the human population and intend to continue doing so, regardless of the treaty, but we also have a responsibility to deal with Victoria, since we were the ones who killed her mate. We will be able to more effectively remove the problem if your pack is willing to cooperate, at least to some extent."

Jacob had calmed down significantly. "We're doing fine. We don't need your help." His teeth were still gritted but he had stopped shaking and his voice was almost even.

"No," Alice said softly, " but we need yours." I had to admit, she was good. She was saying just the kind of things that would soothe his anger, but I wouldn't have expected it to be that effective.

I frowned and studied Jacob carefully. "It's not my decision." There wasn't a trace of anger left in his tone, though he still wasn't pleased.

That was when I noticed the tall, pale figure standing behind him, his blonde hair blowing in the gentle breeze. I hadn't noticed Jasper walk up but I was fairly sure that he had just begun using his control over emotions to calm Jacob. From what I'd seen of Jacob since his transformation, I didn't think he would have been able to accomplish that on his own.

My gaze flicked from him to Alice as she nodded in understanding and said, "Please convey our message to Sam. It is crucial that we resolve this as quickly as possible."

Jacob frowned. "I'll tell him. But I don't think he'll agree."

"I can ask no more," Alice replied with a small inclination of her head.

Jake shook his head, his eyebrows drawing together. "If that's all you have to say, than I'm going."

"Of course. I wouldn't want to keep you."

Jacob gave me a stiff nod and turned to leave. He snarled when he saw Jasper behind him but, perhaps because of Jasper's influence, nothing more happened.

He had almost reached his car when I called out, "Jake!"

The Quileute turned back to me, his hands in his pockets, and looked at me expectantly.

"Come back," I said. "I miss you."

He smiled at me but there was an edge of something – sadness, perhaps – that gave the expression a harsher appearance. "I miss you, too," he called back, before climbing into his white Rabbit and driving away.

It wasn't until he had disappeared around the bend in the road that I realized he hadn't agreed.

I frowned and turned back to Alice who was talking amiably with Jasper a few feet away. I shook myself. "Um, Jasper," I interrupted, "Not to sound rude, but... what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you to visit."

"Rosalie and Emmet just arrived. When Alice didn't come home, I was concerned."

Alice smiled apologetically. "I was otherwise engaged."

"Yes, I could see that. Sam should not have sent one so young – especially to Bella."

I didn't really like the way that sounded. I hated feeling inferior but it wasn't something I could avoid very well, given the people I spent time with these days.

"I wouldn't have let Bella go alone, but... the wolf surprised me."

Jasper's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Alice replied, her frustration beginning to seep into her voice. "I was watching the house carefully in case Victoria decided to drop by for a visit... Jasper I didn't see anything! Do you think... Do you think something is wrong with my visions? Do you think someone's interfering?"

Jasper took her hands in his and kissed them gently. "Don't worry, love. I'm sure it will be fine."

Their discussion sparked a memory, an old thought, and after thinking for a moment, I asked, "Alice, you saw Laurent's attack in that clearing, right?"

She nodded. "Yes. We all thought you were dead."

"So you didn't see the wolf knock me out of the way? Or the other wolves fighting off Laurent."

Alice frowned. "No, I didn't..." Then her eyes lit up as she realized what I was trying to say. "So you think that the problem is the wolves, not my sight?"

"It's just a theory but it makes sense. Can you tell me what the weather is going to be like tomorrow?"

She blinked. "Heavy rain with some snow for a short period in the evening."

I nodded. This confirmed what I had been thinking. "So there's nothing wrong with your power. It's just that for some reason you can't see the wolves."

"I suppose, but I can't imagine why."

Jasper's phone rang.

"Hello?" he said, holding it to his ear.

"What is it?" I asked Alice quietly.

"Edward wants us to come back so that we can make some plans for dealing with Vitoria."

My heart quickened when she said his name, and I wasn't quite able to tell why. The last time I checked, I had been angry with him. Or... maybe I hadn't, entirely. Without thinking about it, I asked, "Can I come with you?"

Alice raised her eyebrows. "If you like. There's no denying that it involves you. Are you sure you're up for it?"

I wasn't at all sure I was up for it, but I was sure that I wasn't going to be left out of this. "I'm fine," I said.

Only a few minutes later I was on the way to the Cullen house with Alice and Jasper.

When I arrived at the house, I saw the rest of the Cullens gathered in the living room, through the doorway.

"What happened?" I heard Edward ask as Alice entered, and then he growled. "Is she safe?"

It took me a moment but I finally realized that he must have been seeing what happened with Jacob repeated in Alice's mind.

"She's-" Alice began, but I cut her off.

"I'm fine," I said, stepping into the house.

Edward looked taken aback. "Bella," he said, and there was something raw in his voice that made my heart ache with a mix of longing and pain.

"Edward," I replied, deciding no other response was quite suitable. Then I shook my self and sat down, trying to get out of the way of the proceedings. Somehow, I chose the seat beside him.

"Good afternoon, Bella. It's nice to see you. Now, unfortunately, we know very little regarding the situation with Victoria. Rosalie and Emmet -" he nodded to each as he said their names "- say that they crossed her scent four or five times on the way into town. This is congruent with our searches in the area. From what we can determine, she has been nearly everywhere around Forks – including a number of sites where campers have been found missing or killed – and we think she has been exploring for some time. However, this gives us very little help in determining her current whereabouts because none of the various trails we have found are recent..." He continued to go over the information the vampires had available to them and, eventually, they discussed plans for finding her and getting rid of her.

I tried to listen intently as the discussion progressed, but I was caught up in Edward's nearness. It was a feeling that I thought I would not feel again – even after he returned – because I had thought the emotions were gone, but I was beginning to wonder, now, if they had not been as dead as I thought.

I was jerked sharply out of my thoughts when the phone rang only minutes into the debate. Everyone looked at it in surprise and it took longer than I would have expected for someone to get up and answer it.

"Hello?" Carlisle asked.

I couldn't hear what the person at the other end of the line said but Carlisle's eyes widened and he said, "Just a moment – let me put you on speaker phone."

A moment later, a man's voice came through with the words, "This is Sam Uley. I've reconsidered your offer. We are having more difficulty with her than we expected after dealing with her friend."

Edward shook his head. "Laurent wasn't a fighter. He was practiced at the verbal games, the mental maneuvering. Victoria may be insane, but she's a fighter. She won't be caught easily, let alone killed."

Sam was silent for a long moment, and then he said, "I think a mutual exchange of information would be a good idea."

"I agree," said Carlisle, "but I think a meeting in person might be easier."

"No," Sam replied, "I don't think it would work without breaking the treaty. The pack wouldn't support it and neither would the reservation."

"Wait," I interjected as a thought came to me suddenly. "Why not meet in the middle?"

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked,

"Send me. I know almost as much as you do about Victoria and the wolves wouldn't feel threatened by me."

"No," Edward said, almost before I'd finished speaking. "I don't think it would be safe for you. I've seen the kind of control Jacob has and he's not the only new addition to the pack."

"How do you know?" Sam asked sharply.

"I... just do. We'll explain later."

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

"No! It's not safe!" Edward insisted.

"Yeah, well, we all know what happens when you try to keep me safe." I almost regretted the words once they were said. Almost. But I really didn't trust his opinion just then. It still hurt to see the pain I'd caused him though.

"I can assure you," Sam said coldly, "that it is perfectly safe."

Edward didn't respond, his eyes still fixed on my face.

I looked away and said, "Of course they are. I'll meet with you tomorrow."

"Wait," Edward said. "What if she took one of us with her – just one?"

"No," Sam said again. "The wolves will not allow a vampire on our land."

"Then on neutral ground perhaps. Bella's house?"

Sam was silent as he thought about it. "Alright. One. But no more than that. We'll meet tomorrow at noon."

"Of course," said Carlisle, finally reclaiming the conversation. After that, though, he didn't seem to know would to say. "Good night."

Sam only gave a grunt of response before hanging up.

I turned to Edward and asked, "So just who did you have in mind to... accompany me?"

"Me," Edward said, sounding surprised at the question.

"No," Alice said before I could. "You're too overprotective. Even if you didn't actively screw things up, you'd create a tense atmosphere which would not be helpful."

"Then send me," Emmett suggested. "I could use some excitement."

"That may be the case," Carlisle replied, "But excitement is the last thing we need. This is a negotiation, not a fight."

"We need to send someone who won't be threatening," said Esme. Her eyes flicked to Alice but the black haired vampire shook her head.

'I'm bothered enough not being able to see them but if I'm engaged in the negotiations, I'll be almost completely blind."

"I'll go," said Jasper after a moment. "I can protect Bella as effectively as anyone else – if not more – and I will be able to keep the wolves more relaxed. It's our best bet.

"That's true," Alice agreed. "You are the most logical choice."

"I suppose," Edward admitted grudgingly. It was clear he was disappointed but at least he had gotten some protection, not that I thought I would need it.

"Then it's settled," said Rosalie, rising to her feet and leaving the room.

Carlisle sighed. "You should go home, Bella. You need to rest if your ribs are going to heal." Until he'd mentioned them, I hadn't really been thinking about my ribs at all but now that they had been brought to the forefront of my mind, I realized that they really were beginning to ache. Moments later, I realized that since Alice had driven me here, I didn't have a car.

"Bella," said Edward, touching my hand gently to get my attention, "May I drive you home?"

I knew I should say no. I knew it was a bad idea. But something inside me didn't want to leave him. "Sure," I said after a moment.

The Cullens lived just outside the town limits so it was a fair distance from their house to mine. Edward had a tendency to speed, though, so I knew it would be a short drive.

We spent the first few minutes of the drive in uncomfortable silence. Edward finally broke it, saying, "I really am sorry. For all that I can read minds, it seems that I have a very poor understanding of human nature – and of you especially. You deserve better."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"I'd like to say that all I want is for you to be happy, for you to choose whoever is best for you, but that would be a lie and I think you've had enough of those. In truth, I'm too afraid to lose you again."

I shook my head. I didn't want to talk about this – at least not yet. There were other things we had to deal with first. "Why did you leave?" I asked.

He was silent for a long time. "Do you remember, last spring, when you thought James had made a hostage of your mother? Do you remember how it felt knowing – or thinking you did – the danger she was in? Even thinking that you had put in danger?"

"Yes." My voice was barely more than a whisper as I finally began to understand. I had been so busy thinking of how unjust he had been to me that I hadn't stopped to think of what would actually cause him to leave. Now I was sure that the Edward who had written the letter was the lie while the one who spoke to me now was real.

"Now go one step further. Imagine that you were the one who would hurt her, or kill her, and there was nothing you could do."

I shook my head, trying to hold back tears – I had thought I was done with tears – and didn't answer.

"There was nothing I could do, Bella," he said quietly, "Nothing I could do but leave."

"But you came back," I said, eventually.

"Yes. I'm not sure even that fear could have kept me away from you forever. Bella, if I had known the danger I would have put you in by leaving, I wouldn't have done it. I would have stayed with you forever."

And somehow, I knew he would have. "Do you think we can make this work?" I asked, the tears finally spilling over.

"I don't know. I love you more than I've ever loved anything, but – as I've so amply demonstrated – I want you to be safe, and I want you to be happy. So whatever you choose, I will support you."

Hesitantly, I reached out and took his ice cold hand. The rest of the drive was silent but I was comforted by his hand in mine.

Neither of us said anything as he helped me out of the car and walked me to the door. I didn't want to let go of his hand so without objection, he accompanied me to my room.

The second I opened the door, though, he froze and inhaled. Then he uttered one word:

"**Vampires."**


	11. Terms

My room was in utter disarray, with clothes and bed linens strewn across the floor. It was certainly not in the state it had been in when I left.

"Victoria?" I asked, but Edward shook his head.

"No. The scent is unfamiliar. Another player." He sighed. "Well, whoever they are, they're long gone. They must have come while you were with us."

Somewhat hesitantly, I entered the room and looked around, beginning to put things away. My laundry basket was completely empty but there were a few articles of clothing that I didn't see in the pile on the floor. I thought that perhaps I had been mistaken about what I had in my room and what was in the wash, but the red turtleneck that had been on the top of the laundry basket since I put it there yesterday, was definitely not amid the mess of clothes across the floor.

Eventually I decided that I wasn't just imagining things. Many of my clothes really had disappeared. "Edward, whoever was in here took some of my things. I think I'm missing three shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pillow case."

He nodded. "Doubtless they wanted your scent."

"Well they have it now. But I don't understand – why didn't Alice see? My only guess is that this vampire knew enough about her abilities to avoiding making a strict decision. That combined with the blind spots that the werewolves seem to be causing could have stopped her from seeing this unless she was watching for it specifically. The only question is, who would know? Aside from us and the Denali coven, know one knows about Alice gift."

I suddenly remembered something that I hadn't thought about in almost a year. "Yes, someone did. Did I ever tell you what James said to me before you arrived? He said he knew Alice from before – from when she was human – but she had slipped through his fingers when a vampire changed her to protect her. I'm betting he knew something about her visions. Maybe he knew enough to hide his intentions from her, and since anything he knew, Victoria knows, I'm guessing that she has an accomplice and they know how to avoid detection."

Edward was silent for a moment and then he said, "You never said anything about this."

"I hadn't really thought about it until now. Right after he said it, I got rather distracted for a long time."

Edward winced. "Does Alice know?"

"About James? I don't think so. When I asked her, she said she didn't remember her human life."

Edward sighed. "I think this may be much more complicated than we had anticipated."

I didn't sleep well that night. Even though I knew that the Cullens were keeping me safe, every sound made me jump. My visitor, earlier, had made me realize just how safe I was in my home and it made me uncomfortable.

At eleven fifty five the next day, Jasper knocked gently on the door frame. I jumped but when I realized who it was, I calmed myself and invited him in.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, taking the seat beside my bed.

I shrugged. "No, not really. I was scared." It was hard to admit that, especially to someone who was as hard to frighten as Jasper, but he just nodded as though it was perfectly to be expected.

"We were concerned that your vampire would return for another visit but no one came near the house all night."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Were you able to trace the scent at all?"

"Oh yes. Whoever he was, he wasn't very experienced at covering his tracks. He left us a quite clear trail but we had to abandon the search when it crossed over onto Quileute land. Doubtless he was headed for the ocean."

My eyebrows drew together. "Why?"

"Because we don't need to breath very often, you can understand that we are more comfortable in water than the average person. More importantly, though, one leaves no scent in water. We figured you'd be safe enough with one vampire and the entire wolf pack so the others have spread out to see if the trail picks up again along the border or the shore line but they've not yet found anything."

"I suppose it's the same with Victoria?"

He nodded. "Her scent is all over town but all of the trails are weeks old at least. My guess is that she's been staying out of forks – and out of Alice's sight – as much as she can."

"Did the wolves find anything new?"

He gave a small smile. Why don't you ask them yourself. They're here."

I listened for a car engine but could hear nothing. "I don't hear them," I told Jasper.

"They used a less conventional method of transportation," he explained, and then at my confused look, he gestured toward the window.

Carefully I got out of bed and looked out at the forest that began ten or twenty yards from the side of my house. One by one, the dark-skinned Quileutes stepped out of the cover of the trees. Sam first, then one whose name I didn't know, then Jacob, then the other unknown wolf emerged with Embry.

"Do you think they want to meet us down there?" I asked Jasper and he frowned.

"Whatever they want, we're meeting in the house. It's safer, for one thing, but even if it weren't you should be moving as little as possible. We don't want to disturb any of your bones."

I shook my head and said firmly, "Cracked ribs or not, I'm not going to invite five strange guys into my bedroom. That would be too weird – even if they are wolves. We can meet in the living room."

He shrugged. "If you like." He walked over to where I stood near the window and extended his hand.

Grudgingly, I took it. I didn't like how dependent I had become on others since the attack, but I had to admit that it was easier to move around with someone to lean on.

The wolves were standing somewhat uncomfortably in the kitchen when we got downstairs.

"Don't you guys knock?" I muttered, but, though I was sure almost sure everyone heard me, no one responded. "Well, come on. Let's talk in the living room."

They followed me and waited, just as uncomfortable as before, while I sat in an armchair by the old-fashioned fireplace. They seemed unsure of what they should be doing.

"Make yourselves comfortable," I said, indicating the vacant chairs and couches. A few sat, but they didn't relax. I glanced at Jasper – that was _his _job – but he just gazed back somewhat blandly. I looked pointedly at the wolves waiting at the other side of the room.

"Firstly, I would like to say that Bella's house was invaded last night while she was at our little meeting. We traced the the scent until it tracked onto your land. Were you aware of this?"

Sam nodded. "Jared," he said, glancing at one of the unknown boys as he spoke, "found a relatively fresh trail this morning. We followed it to the coast when it disappeared. It wasn't familiar. Is it anyone you know?"

Jasper sighed. "No. We were hoping that you might know something."

One of the Quileutes – Jared – shook his head. "There was just the two: the red head female and the male that attacked her." he jerked his head in my direction as he said my name. "Jake said something had happened between them and you guys before you left. What all happened?"

"It has to do with Victoria's – the red head's – mate," I said, reclaiming my spot in the discussion. "His name was James and he was a tracker – it was what he loved doing. He chose me as his next target and the Cullens killed him trying to protect me. The woman wasn't happy about that so it seems like she's decided on some kind of revenge – or that's what Laurent said."

Embry raised his eyebrows. "And Laurent is the lee..." He glanced at Jasper, sitting silently in the chair next to me. "Vampire that attacked you?"

I nodded.

"How much do you know about this Victoria?" Sam asked.

"Not much," I replied. "Like I said, she was James' mate. We met her all of one time and she didn't do much." Except almost kill me. I remembered her lunge and how close her needle sharp teeth had gotten to my neck and I shuttered. "But we did learn one thing. She's not mentally stable. She's almost completely controlled by her emotions and she will act on a whim if if the mood takes her. Even Laurent agreed that she wasn't sane,"

"So this is good news," said the other unknown Quileute. "It shouldn't be too hard to kill a retarded leech." He obviously didn't have the same qualms regarding his speech that Embry did.

"I doubt it. I didn't say she was retarded, just unstable. Think Psycho, not Rain Man."

"It would take a psycho to kill all those people," Jake muttered. "I don't understand how someone could sadistically murder someone just for a drink."

"Enough with the negativity, Jake!" I cut in. He shrugged but he stopped.

"If we could get back to the topic..." Sam suggested. "Is there anything else you could tell us."

"Not anything that would help. Just, don't take her to lightly. She may be controlled by her emotions but she is twisted and psychopathic and she would kill any of us without a second thought if she got the chance. Don't underestimate her."

"What can you tell us?" Jasper asked.

"We had a lot of trouble with her for the first month. She was all over town, though she kept to the coast as much as possible. In that first month alone there were four attacks – at least six dead with some missing. The next month there were less, and after that we thought we were rid of her. Then... We didn't say last night, but there was another attack. Her scent was there as well as another scent we couldn't clearly make out. It may have been your runaway vampire."

I thought as they spoke and my mind flashed back to a newspaper article I'd read almost two months before. I had put it out of my mind after I read it but everything came back now in full force. I shook my head, just as horrified as I'd been then, and said. "She didn't just leave. She went to Seattle and splurged." I took a shaky breath. "Over thirty dead or missing over a period of thirty or forty days, and that was a month and a half ago. Who knows what the toll is now."

"Jesus Christ," Jared breathed, his voice every bit as disgusted and horrified as mine.

Jasper frowned though I couldn't tell if it was from emotion or if he was just confused. "Thirty death's in a month is hugely excessive, even for someone as sadistic as Victoria. It doesn't make sense."

Slowly, I turned the thoughts over in my head and then I froze. "Wait a second. That's over thirty dead _or missing_." I started rubbing my face, almost to exhausted to feel the fear and horror that I should have felt. "Why didn't I see it sooner?"

"What are you saying?" Jacob asked, looking at me intently

"The high death rate, the disappearances, the new scent – it all makes sense! Victoria wasn't just feeding, she was creating new vampires. I'm surprised we've only found the one."

"Shit," the nameless wolf, sounding just as pleased with this turn of events as I was.

"I agree with Paul, for once," Jake said with a small laugh.

"That would explain," Sam muttered, but he didn't finish the sentence.

"It would explain what, Sam?" I asked, anxiously grasping for any piece of information that could help.

He looked up at me and after a moment he said, "We don't know very much about the science behind it but something about the proximity of vampires triggers the wolf gene. We had been keeping a fairly small pack because even though there were more vampires than we were used to, we kept them at a distance. We expected that when they -" he nodded at Jasper "- left, the gene would stay dormant in our other potential wolves, but instead, the pack has been growing. First Embry, then Jacob, and now even Quil. I wouldn't surprised if Seth joins us soon."

"Wait," I said, "did you say Quil Ateara? Why isn't he here?"

Sam smiled almost apologetically. "When one is still growing accustomed to the wolf, it can be very difficult to maintain control. We didn't think it would be safe to bring him – especially into the presence of a vampire. He is running a private patrol back at the reservation."

"Hold up," Embry interjected, "We're getting off topic. So are you guys honestly saying that instead of facing some vampire girl who's causing trouble, we're about to face an army of new born vampires?"

"It does seem that way," Jasper replied.

"Sam," Jared said quietly, "This is more than we bargained for."

"So what?" Jacob asked. "Are you saying that we should just give up? Let the Cullens take care of everything?"

"Jacob!" Sam's voice was harsh and Jacob fell silent instantly.

Then Embry, speaking very slowly and carefully, said, "What if we made a new treaty – just temporarily – so that we could work together until we've gotten rid the bloodsuckers? Allies,, or something – but just until this whole thing is over."

"No way!"

"You've got to be kidding!"

"Are you some kind of leech lover, now?"

"Quiet," Sam said in that same harsh tone. The pack quieted. Then he sighed. "I will not deny that the Cullens are dangerous and that in normal circumstances we would keep them as far away as possible, but always my first priority will be our people and I will do whatever is necessary to keep them safe. Maybe we have to choose the lesser of two evils." He glanced at Jasper as he spoke.

I sat very still and silent, hanging on his every word. _The enemy of my enemy is my friend, _I wanted to say but I was afraid to speak lest I make them change their minds. This was exactly what I'd been pushing for since the Cullens returned and I didn't want to do anything that would put the potential alliance in jeopardy.

"It would definitely be helpful to have a larger organized attack force, and if we planned search routes together we could lessen the holes for Victoria and her friends to slip through," Jasper added, carefully.

"He has a point – you guys have to admit that," Embry said, glancing at the faces of his packmates.

Jared sighed and shook his head, clearly not pleased with the situation, but even so, he said, "I suppose you're right. Maybe our only chance is side with the Cullens. I don't like it – I don't think any of us do, really – but, Sam, if you decide to ally with the Cullens, I'll support your decision."

Sam nodded in thanks.

"This is gonna stink," Paul grumbled, and Jared chuckled as though it were some kind of private joke.

"Jacob?" Sam inquired.

He crossed his arms over his chest and said, "I say we shouldn't. They can't be trusted."

_Don't be contrary just because you don't like Edward! This is the only thing that can save us, _I wanted to say but again I stopped myself – barely. I bit my cheek, hard. They had to figure this our on their own.

Sam frowned. "Jacob, your opinion is important to me and I want your support... but we have very little choice and I will do what I think is best."

Jake glared at Sam who held his eyes unflinchingly. After a long moment, Jake looked away.

Sam turned back to us and said, "Okay, vampire, you have a treaty. We will cooperate with you to deal with the red-head and her army. But only until they're dead. Then we go back to the original treaty."

"That sounds acceptable," Jasper replied, as though he hadn't noticed the long discussion before hand. "My family will be pleased to have your help. Doubtless we will have to arrange a meeting place to figure out the rest of the details. It should be a large area and off Quileute land if you prefer – after all, I'm sure the good police chief would notice if thirteen people began meeting in his house every night."

"Did you have a place in mind?" asked Sam.

"There is a large clear area approximately fourteen miles North-East of Forks. I think that would meet all our needs as well as being far enough away from the town to stop any dangerous questions. Will you be able to get there easily?"

"Don't worry yourself," Sam sneered, "We'll be waiting. Tomorrow, at midnight."

"How cliché," Jasper muttered aside to me, far to quietly for the wolves to hear. I barely heard it either. I was watching Jacob carefully, as he listened to the negotiations with an expression that was growing evermore sour.

Sam and jasper finished up fairly quickly but I had stopped paying attention to what they were saying. I had gotten what I wanted after all, but Jacob's reaction concerned me. I watched him worriedly as he and his pack headed toward the door.

Finally I jumped to my feet and burst out, "Jacob, don't you dare leave without talking to me!"

He stopped and looked at me in surprise which he quickly concealed. "I'll catch you guys later," he said to the others who had continued out to the back yard where they had first arrived.

"What do want me to say?"

I was slightly taken aback, though this was a similar reaction to the last few times I'd tried to talk to him. I shook my head furiously. "What's wrong with you? I've hardly seen you in three weeks – and over a month before that - and now even when I do see you, you treat me like garbage. I thought... I thought you cared."

Jacob opened his mouth, closed it, glanced at jasper, then back at me, then out the door through which his friends had gone moments before. I bit my lip, regretting my words. I knew him well enough to see the pain and fear behind his defensive exterior.

I looked back at Jasper and said, "Could we have a moment? Alone?"

Jasper thought for a moment and then his gaze flashed to Jacob pointedly.

"She'll be fine," Jacob growled through gritted teeth.

_That was convincing, _I thought to myself. Out loud I said, "Please, Jasper. Nothing will happen."

After a second he relaxed – as much as he ever relaxed – and nodded in acquiescence. "If you will excuse me, Bella, Jacob, I think I will return home now and pass on this new information to my family." He nodded to each of us and strolled out the front door.

I watched him for a moment and then returned to Jacob. "Well?" I asked.

He looked down. "I thought you were mad at me."

"What?" I asked, taken completely by surprise. "Why on earth would you think that?"

He shrugged and replied, "You didn't visit or anything – well I guess your ribs." With mixed hurt and anger, he added. "Not that it seems to have stopped you from seeing your other friends. But why didn't you at least call?"

"Jake," I said, his pain hurting me almost as much as it did him. Hesitantly, I walked over and – because I couldn't easily reach his shoulders at this point – put my arm around his waist and leaned against him. A small part of my mind wondered at how abnormally warm he felt. Almost as though he were running a fever. It was my turn to look down. "I suppose," I admitted, just as hesitantly, "because I was afraid."

He tensed and I looked up, confused about what in my words had bothered him. I saw the twinge of pain in his features before it turned to anger.

"Of course. 'Cause I'm so much more dangerous than that team of leeches you're always hanging out with. Well I'm sorry I couldn't be the right kind of monster, Bella."

He tried to pull away but I caught his arm, stopping him. "No! I wasn't afraid that you would hurt me." _At least not physically, _ I thought, but I saw no reason to tell him that. "I was afraid that... things wouldn't be the same."

"Oh." He turned back to face me and his hand twisted to capture mine. "So you're not mad? Even though I lied and hid things from you."

I shook my head and smiled. "I know why you did it," I said, taking the hand I held and wrapping it around myself so that I could snuggle against him once more. "I never got to thank you for saving my life, by the way. Thanks."

He chuckled. "Sam gave me hell for it after. We had our whole attack planned out but when I saw how close he was... I couldn't stop myself. When I broke formation, Sam came in after and his whole attack was ruined. Personally, I think he was just pissed cause his ribs healed crooked after the bloodsucker stepped on him and he had to get them re-broken. After he said I had technique though."

"Well I'm glad you broke the rules. If you hadn't, I'm pretty sure Laurent would have had me, regardless of Sam's plan – but don't tell him that."

He laughed again, but after a moment he sobered. "You really do want your leech back, though, don't you?" he asked.

"No!" I replied., without hesitation._ I would have stayed with you forever... _But he hadn't. He had left – he had lied to me. But that was just it. Alice had said that the leaving was a lie. Did I want him back? Even after what he'd done to me?

"Bella?"

"No," I said more firmly. After all, he'd had his chance. _I love you more than I've ever loved anything... _I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Bella," Jacob said softly, taking my chin in his hands, "I'll never do anything to hurt you. Again," he added as an after thought. "Damn. I'm really sorry about everything, Bella."

"Don't be. This hasn't been easy for you either."

"Shh..." He pulled me around so that I was facing him again and he looked down at me with warm black eyes. Slowly he leaned in until he was only inches away from my face.

"I love you," I murmured, and I kissed him. I reveled in the warmth and softness of his lips and even more in the pleasure that he took in the kiss. It took me back to the last night before Jacob had changed. The night when I had finally opened up and let him in. It was so easy, now, to remember why I loved him so much – the ease with which he had accepted me when I thought I had been abandoned.

Yes. He would not hurt me.

After a long time, we broke away and smiled.

"I have to go or Embry and the other will be worried," he said "Or jealous, but then, who wouldn't be?" He added. He kissed me again. Lightly.

I grinned and pushed him away. "Get going. You'll be missed."

Tossing a smile back over his shoulder, he ran out the door.

As soon as he was gone, I ran to the window to see him leave but he had already disappeared into the forest.

A moment later, though, I was convinced I saw a mahogany wolf flash through the trees.


	12. Family

I woke up the next morning feeling utterly disgusting, I felt better physically than I had in almost two weeks, but emotionally... I felt torn. On the one hand, I had my vampires who, though they had abandoned me, I felt more and more attached to. On the other, and had Jacob and his pack whose warm friendship was something I'd been missing out on for too long. What was worst, though, was that I knew I'd been so caught up in my paranormal difficulties that I'd been denying my normal friends.

I decided that, ribs or not – and really my ribs weren't as bad as everyone seemed to think – I would begin school again tomorrow. Hopefully my friends hadn't given up on me yet. There was only so much rejection I could take in a year without breaking.

Of course things had gotten easier now that Edward had gotten back and I knew what was going on with Jacob. Or... had they? Did I actually feel any less alone being forced to choose between the two than I did having neither?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Alice chirped from my open window.

I jumped. "Don't you knock?" I asked.

"Not when I can avoid it," she replied with a smile. "I might break a nail."

"One of yours? Not likely."

"Well, you're probably right." She shrugged and hopped through the window, landing lightly on the balls of her feet. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

"No. I was just thinking."

"About what?"

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "Just... everything. I'm going back to school tomorrow."

"I know," she said with a smirk.

I grinned. "Of course you do. I forgot."

"I also know that Angela is almost certainly going to say yes to your proposal for a sleep over tonight. Or at least, she would is you didn't have to adjust the date till tomorrow night when she's having a family dinner, because you'll be busy tonight. At least, I assume you'll want to join us at the field."

I shook my head and smiled. "Alice, are you sure you don't read minds?"

"Yes, I'm sure. That's Edward."

I winced, though I wasn't sure if it was because I didn't want to think about him or if it was because I didn't want to admit how much I really did want to think about him. "Yes, I want to be at the field. Will you do me a favour and tell me when Angela will be available?"

"She's going to be busy for a while. Her grandmother is coming up from Los Angeles for a few days and since she just got diagnosed with ovarian cancer and she's been given months to live so she's trying to get as much time with her family before then."

"That... sucks."

"Yeah. She's not too upset about it, though, because she's wiccan of over sixty years and a firm believer in reincarnation – still, she's not too pleased about the form death seems to be taking."

"Well," I said after a moment, "that was unexpected."

"When you've lived as long as I have, it becomes expected that everyone will have at least one quirk that would sound unexpected if you didn't expect it."

I blinked. "I think you lost me."

She giggled. "I'm not surprised."

"Okay," I said after a moment, "If everyone has one quirk -"

"At least," The small vampire interjected.

"Then what's mine?"

She raised her eyebrows and asked, "Aside from your association with things that go bump in the night?"

I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't count. Aside from that."

With a smile, she said, "I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet, but don't worry. I will eventually."

It was true, tough, I supposed. It wasn't like everyone was this involved with the vampires – after all, unless the vampires were as strict about their diet as mine, it wasn't a position you could hold for very long, safely – and the only wolves I knew of were the ones here in Forks. Of course, I had gotten the impression that many of the Quileutes – the elders at least – were very involved with the wolves. The vampires, the werewolves, next thing I knew Angela would turn out to be a witch.

How had it all started? Was it just the eerie feeling I'd gotten from the Cullens on my first day here? Jessica had said she felt something similar and yet she wasn't lying in bed with an arm in a cast, waiting for an army of vampires to attack and trying to choose between a vampire and a werewolf. Or maybe she was, since I was so out of it that world war three could probably have started around me without my noticing, or at least it felt that way. I should call her or something – tomorrow. I'd do it tomorrow. Just like the army of vampires.

Gah! How had my life gotten so complicated? Just a year ago my biggest worry was being away from my mom and getting submerged into a town where I knew somewhere between one and three people. Now...

I wondered how things would have been different if I had just refused to talk to Edward, or parked in a different spot, or agreed not to push things, or not talked to Jake that day, or not gotten caught by the creeps in Port Angeles, or backed out when he'd given me the chance in the glade... And I could drown myself in What Ifs and it still wouldn't change the present. I'd had so many opportunities to step down, to get out of this, but by the time I realized that I wanted to get out, it was too late.

But did I really want out? Did I want not to have Alice or Jasper or Jacob or Edward? No, I decided. I didn't want it not to have happened, I just wanted it not to be so complicated now. Of course, I'd be wishing life were less complicated even if I were just dealing with the normal stresses of teenage.

And Jacob was younger than I was – younger than I'd been when this all started. He seemed to be taking the whole thing fairly well but I hadn't really gotten to talk to him – the real him that had fixed up the bikes and taken me to the movies – since the night the Change had begun. I could tell it was still there though, buried beneath his new strength and his anger. I just hadn't been able to get him to relax enough around me.

I should visit him, as long as Sam hadn't thrown him out to do patrols. I should go today. I'd be damned if I was going to sit in bed all day, doctors orders or not. Besides, I was sure Alice wouldn't turn me in. relatively sure, anyway.

Alice had pulled out a book and started reading when I turned to her and said, "Alice, I'm going to visit Jake today."

She shuddered, and then she explained, "You have no idea how odd it feels not knowing what people are going to say before hand."

"Somehow, I'm not very sympathetic," I replied dryly.

She huffed and folded her arms in a perfectly Alice-like pout. "No body appreciates me. Edward would understand."

I flinched from the name – a reaction that I'm sure she noticed even if she didn't draw attention to it. "Don't tell Carlisle though. He doesn't want me doing anything strenuous."

She frowned at me. "Just what do you expect to be doing?"

"Oh, nothing big, but I think he'll be happier if he thinks I sat around all day 'healing'."

"Alright," she agreed, "But I won't lie to him if he asks and if you actually hurt yourself there'll be no hiding it so be careful."

"Come on, Alice, I'm not that bad!"

"Well, no. But you do have something of a nose for trouble and you're not exactly in tip-top shape. So, just be careful, but have fun."

My eyes widened. "What? No spiel about how dangerous it is all alone with the werewolves?"

She laughed, a high, musical sound, and said, "No, that's Edward, remember. The tall, pale guy with yellow eyes and red hair?"

I laughed, too. "Of course. Now I remember."

After a moment Alice asked, "Do you want help down the stairs?"

"No!" I said, a little too sharply. "Sorry. I just need to be able to do this by myself. It's just a few cracked ribs that are already seventy-five percent better. If I'm going anywhere today, I'd better be able to at least get down the stairs by myself."

"It's okay. I understand perfectly. I'll just... find something to do."

I opened my mouth to say something but before I could speak, she said, "Don't worry, Bella. I can find something to do without Edward or Carlisle. Maybe I'll go shopping." She gave me one of her pixie-like smiles and then leapt out the window.

As much as she did that, I'd have thought that I would have gotten used to it by now but I still tensed when ever she did. Sometimes, I thought she did it just to unnerve me. It didn't seem like the most practical way out of my room, but then again, I wasn't a vampire.

I shuddered and, placing a firm hand on the stair rail, I made my way slowly down the stairs.

The drive to Jacob's house was longer than it usually was because it was hard to manipulate the controls with only one working arm, but I did get there. No one was home when I knocked on the door, but I had pretty much expected that. Jake hadn't been home the last few times I'd been here either.

I stopped by the beach but I didn't see them there either. They had been there almost every time before that I was looking for them – and thanks to Jasper, I finally realized why – but they weren't there now. It was pure coincidence that I spotted the flash of silver through the trees on the side of the road. On a whim, I wheeled around and followed it.

I was surprised that it stayed so close to the road since we weren't supposed to have wolves and doubtless they would want to attract as little attention as possible, but I was glad. I wouldn't be able to find Jacob if the wolf had stayed in the heart of the forest. As it was, there were a few times when I was sure that I'd lost him, but he kept reappearing at the corner of my eye.

I followed until the pavement turned to gravel road, and then the gravel turned into mud and eventually the trail ended in thick forest. I looked around but I didn't see anything. Then I stepped out of the car but there was nothing but the wind in the trees and the soft bird song through the forest. Hesitantly I asked the air, "Is any one there?"

There was a rustle in the trees a few metres away. No one answered.

I was beginning to wonder if perhaps this had not been the best idea but before I could climb into my truck, I heard a branch snap beneath someone's foot.

I spun, my breathing quick and my heart pounding in my ears.

"Geez, Bella. Calm down," said Jacob with a wide smile – the smile that I hadn't seen on his face since before he became a werewolf.

"Jake, I swear, if you scare me like that again, I will freaking kill you!" I told him, doubling over and trying to get my wind back. "Why didn't you answer me?"

"Relax! You hardly gave us time to change." Only when he said that did I notice the five Quileutes boys spread around the trail, Quil among them, wearing jeans and little else.

"So this is The Pack," I said, tucking my cold hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"Yeah. Speaking of which... How did you find us?"

I glanced around the group, trying to pick out the wolf that I had followed but I couldn't guess. "I followed someone – a gray wolf."

As one, the eyes of the group turned to the shortest – who was still a full four inches taller than I.

"Quil!"

"Quil, you idiot!"

"What'd I do?"

"He's a newbie! Give him some slack!"

"I was able to get to the meetings without being spotted even in my first week."

"Seriously, Quil, were you running beside the highway?"

"Am I not supposed to do that?"

"Hey, Sam, are you sure this kid's a wolf and not a cow or something?"

I listened to their banter, a smile slowly spreading across my face. I couldn't help it. Eventually, I said, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Naw," Embry assured me, "It's just meetings."

"We don't really need to get together but it's just more natural to meet in person than it is to..." Quil trailed off, hunching over slightly as all the eyes of the pack turned back to glare at him.

Too curious for my own good, as always, I asked, "What did he mean?"

Sam sighed. "We didn't just decide to declare ourselves pack because we have the same differences. The bond is much deeper than that. Though there is still very much to learn about pack magic, we are able to communicate with each other in wolf form even more effectively than we can as humans."

"So... you can read each other's minds?" I asked.

"Not exactly," said Jared. "At least, I wouldn't put it that way. It's more like there is just one mind with six different voices. It usually only works when we go wolf, but even in man-form, you can feel strong emotion."

"That's so cool," I murmured. "The only pseudo-telepath I've met before was Edward."

"What?" asked Jacob sharply and I realized that no one had told the wolves about the vampires' special powers.

"Edward can read minds. He can only listen, though; he can't project like you guys can."

"That might have been a good thing to tell us yesterday," said Jared.

"I didn't think of it! And it's not like you told us about your mind reading thingy."

"Are there any other vampires with superpowers that you think we should know about?" Sam asked.

"Just the Cullens. Jasper can control emotions and Alice can see the future."

"So how come they were so surprised that you were alive?"

"Alice can't see the wolves for some reason. I don't know why since she can see everything else and Edward seems able to read your minds -"

"I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life!" Paul objected. "That whole 'destiny' crap is bull and you expect me to believe that some leech is gonna tell me what's gonna happen?"

I flinched back against my truck. Paul scared my. He was even bigger than Emmett and he had a lot more animosity towards me. Though I was fairly sure he wouldn't, I knew he could easily kill me and that was not good for my peace of mind. "Her visions change," I explained nervously. "She only sees what a person is going to do as long as they intend to do it."

Paul shook his head and shoved his hands firmly into the pockets of his jeans.

"Does this Victoria have any powers?" Sam asked. Always business.

"Not that I know of," I said. "But if she really does have an army of vampires, there's a possibility that at least one will be gifted."

"Gifted how?" asked Embry. Quil was remaining meekly silent.

"I don't know. The Cullens' aren't really dangerous but he mentioned that a friend of theirs down in Alaska has some kind of powerful attack. Really it could be anything."

"Great," said Sam. "We can't really prepare for that."

"Maybe their powers won't work on you – I mean Alice's don't."

"We can't count on it. You said yourself that your other vampire's powers worked."

"But they'll be newborns," I said, trying to convince myself as much as the others. I need to believe that we had a chance. "Maybe they won't be able to use their powers right away."

"Even so, it's too much of a risk. We have to expect the worst."

I pursed my lips. The situation was seeming more and more hopeless by the second. Even our thirteen fighters would be over matched by the newborns by the time it came to the confrontation. Our only hope would be to fight better than they did.

On top of everything else, I was unsure of where I fit in all of this. I wasn't a wolf, I wasn't a vampire, and a human really had no place in all this nonsense, but I was stuck here.

"She shouldn't be here," Paul said suddenly, echoing my thoughts. "This is pack business."

"It's her business,too," Jake replied firmly, with a touch of something else. At first I thought it to be anger but after a moment I realized that Jake was feeling territorial. I wasn't sure whether to be flattered or terrified.

"We aren't supposed to involve the humans," Paul, growled, taking a step in towards Jacob.

I was scared, sure that this would turn into a fight, but Jacob just held his eyes, staring him down. I don't know how he did it, since Paul was taller than he was and twice as broad, but there wasn't a trace of fear in Jacob's expression and after a moment, Paul looked away, clearly backing down.

"We're pretty much done here, anyway," Sam said, stepping between them.

"That was quick," I muttered.

Given the werewolves' hearing I was fairly sure that all of them heard me but only Jacob responded. "Like I said, as wolves we're a hive mind so, even though we are rarely all wolf at once since we work in shifts, there is not a lot of information that needs to be exchanged."

"So what's going to happen now?" I asked.

"Probably we'll send out another shift, unless Sam tells us to do something different. Hey, Sam, what's the plan?"

He frowned and then said. "Paul, Jared, Quil, spread out and run the circuit. Embry, change to wolf and meat me at Emily's – I need someone there to tell me the instant we find something."

"And me?" Jake asked?

After a moment Sam answered, "Take Bella to Emily's. She looks like she needs something to eat."

Looking back awkwardly at me, the wolves disappeared into the forest once more.

"What's their problem?" I asked, insulted and confused by the odd glances thrown my way as they left.

Jacob chuckled. "We're shape shifters, so as you can expect, nudity is just something we have to deal with. Especially since we're all guys, we don't worry to much about clothes. You being here is forcing them to a higher level of modesty."

"Oh," I said, not sure what to make of that.

"We should probably get going," Jake pointed out after a moment. "We don't want to keep Sam and everyone waiting."

I frowned as I climbed into the truck. "I knew you guys were fast but I didn't expect you to be faster than a car. What kind of speeds can you get up to?"

Jake laughed again. "We're not actually that fast unless we're really pushing it. On the other hand, wolves can make their own way through the forests whereas the cars have to stick to the road. Turn here."

Relieved to have Jacob back, I talked with him for the whole drive. Unfortunately, it was much shorter than I would have liked. Of course, anything would have seemed to short after the weeks that I had spent away from him.

After a few minutes of driving, I pulled up in front of a sweet little house with a small but very well tended garden in the front of it. The base of the house was stone with earth red walls and windows on either side of the door. It was a two story house with a quaint balcony with only enough space four two or three people to sit comfortably.

All in all it was a small house but even from the outside I could tell that it was very well maintained. The garden that wrapped around the side of the house was beautifully laid out and the plants were all healthy without a weed in the area. The doors and windows of the house were all bright and clean and in the window to the right of the entrance, I could see a stained glass hanging of a howling wolf.

I smiled as I approached the door, enjoying the homey feel of the house. The feeling was continued on the inside. The first thing I noticed upon entering was the mouthwatering smell of freshly baked bread. I couldn't tell where the smell was coming from for it seemed to fill the entire house.

To the left of the hallway for shoes and coats, there was a living room containing two armchairs, a sofa, a wooden coffee table, and a glowing brick fair place. Through the living room there were two doors. One opened into a narrow staircase that led to the upstairs rooms. The other was a wide doorway through which was a kitchen where a small dark woman was hurrying about, mixing, and kneading, and scrubbing.

She was plump and womanly with iron gray hairs beginning to show through the Quileute black. Her hair, which was still quite long despite the gray, was pulled back into a neat bun behind her head. She wore a flour-covered apron atop a simple shirt and pants but her feet were bare.

I assumed that this was Emily.

Sam was also in the kitchen, working beside her to keep the counters clean of dishes and scrubbing when things needed to be cleaned.

At first I thought that he hadn;t noticed Jacob and I enter but then, kissing emily on the cheek, he said, "This is Bella, love, Jacob's friend."

She turned to me and gave me a warm brought smile. It was clear to me that she was one of those rare people who felt the urge to make everyone feel happy and welcome. I had to admit she was very good at it.

I smiled in return, but froze midway as a finally saw her full face.

She was very beautiful. Her eyes were dark and warm beneath elegantly arched brows. Her skin was a rich caramel, as yet untouched by age. Her lips were full and dark, and stretched into a perfectly shaped smile.

But this was not what had caught my attention. Three ragged scars stretched across the right side of her face, twisting it into a mockery of the beauty on the left side. The puckered scars pulled at the corner of her eye and the corner of her mouth, giving her smile a lopsided look. I shuddered at the thought of the wounds fresh and bleeding and what might have caused them.

Emily's smile took on a sad edge and I was sure she knew what I was looking at. It was almost certainly the first thing anyone noticed upon meeting her. "It's very nice to meet you, Bella," she said, not letting it get in the way of hospitality. "I hope you like cinnamon buns. Sam said you would be hungry and I know the boys usually like them."

"Sure," I replied. "Cinnamon buns are great."

"Perfect," she told me, still smiling. "I expect they'll be out in a few minutes." she turned back to the counter and began her work once more.

I almost jumped as Embry walked into the room. Intellectually I knew it was nothing out of the ordinary – or in any case, it was no less ordinary than the wolves in general or the vampires – but I wasn't accustomed to oversized wolves simply walking into the kitchen. He seemed to notice my reaction and as if to prove how utterly harmless he was, he stuck his tongue out and panted, just as a normal dog would do, before walking up to me and jumping up to put his forepaws on the table near my seat.

"Embry Alan Call," Emily said without turning around, "get your paws off the table."

he came pack down onto all four paws and then walked closer to me and placed his large, canine head in my lap. Hesitantly I began petting him and scratching him behind the ears, just as I would for a normal dog.

Beside me, Jacob growled and Embry jumped back, hunching.

"Relax, Jake," I said, surprised and confused by his reaction. I was more surprised when he did. Embry didn't come back, though. Instead he wondered back into the living room and curled up in front of the fire place. "Look, you scared him away."

Jacob shrugged and looked away.

I decided I should change the subject. I lowered my voice until it was hardly more than a whisper. "What happened to Emily?"

"You mean the..." Jacob dragged three fingers across the right side of his face, mimicking the pattern of Emily's scars.

I nodded.

"See how close together they are?" he asked. "That's from wolf claws."

I frowned. "Whose?"

He looked pointedly at Sam.

"But, why?"

Jacob shrugged, "When he first changed, he was the only wolf. There was no one to help him learn control. Even when you do have help it can be pretty da... darn hard. I don't know much about it but I guess he just... lost control."

"But he looks like he really loves her. How could he hurt her?"

"I almost hurt you," Jake muttered,

I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I mean."

We were silent for a long moment and then I asked, "How old is Emily?"

"I'm not sure. Somewhere in her mid thirties I think. Why?"

"She looks a lot older than Sam."

"She is."

My forehead wrinkled. "It's just odd. Most people tend to stick to partners that are within their age group."

Jake chuckled. "It's not like he had much of a choice."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's another wolf thing. No one is one hundred percent sure why it happens, aside from finding someone who could carry on the wolf gene, but occasionally a wolf will... imprint on a person. It's almost like love at first sight but infinitely more powerful and it isn't something that really diminishes over time."

"And Sam... imprinted on Emily."

"Yeah. They're getting married in a few months."

A timer went off and Emily opened the oven and pulled out a tray with six large cinnamon buns on it. She poured icing over them and then transferred them to a plate and brought them to the table. "Dig in," she told us.

I was barely halfway through my first bun and Jacob was reaching for his third when Embry ran back into the room, barking and howling. In an instant, Jake jumped to his feet and phased.

It was not the way I had expected it would be, with the human bones and muscles slowly shifting and stretching to a wolves body. Instead, it was like Jake had collapsed in upon himself, changing from human to wolf in the space of a breath.

Sam was only a moment behind him, pausing to kiss Emily gently, before he, too, phased and followed his wolves out of the house.


	13. Practice

Alice wasn't at the house when I got home but I wasn't very surprised. That didn't mean I wasn't lonely, though, especially after the display of friendship and family that I had just seen from the wolves. My own life seemed lonely by comparison.

Of course, much of that was by my own choice. I had been hurt and it had made me overly wary of trusting people. And I had chosen my more dangerous companions over my human friends. Had I chosen wrongly? That still remained to be seen, but I didn't have to worry about that now. I could figure out my relationships after we'd dealt with the psychopath vampire that wanted to kill me. Strangely, that thought didn't make me feel much better.

With all the time I'd spent with Jake and his pack, I'd made it to four o'clock but now I had pretty much nothing to do. I pulled out a book and watched some TV, but overall, I was relieved when my father got home. I hadn't thought about how lonely I would be without Alice there. It was odd that I should feel so lonely now when I had never been bothered by it before. I was fairly sure I could blame Edward for that though.

After dinner, I went straight to bed, feeling anxious about the meeting that night. Partly I was afraid because I didn't know how the pack would react to a face to face meeting with the vampires, but part of it – and this was difficult to admit even to myself – was that I wasn't sure how I would feel about facing both Jake and Edward at once.

Gah! How could I be concerned with my messed up relationships at a time like this? Something had to be wrong with me. I never used to be this... shallow. I rubbed my forehead as if to rub away the stress. It didn't work.

Still, after hours of waiting and trying not to think about Victoria, or any of the other stress points of my life, I fell asleep.

I sat up gasping and sweating and blinked, trying to trying to rid myself of the image of Victoria that was still imprinted on my eyelids.

"What is it?" Alice asked, poking her head through the window.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head in an effort to clear it. "Just a bad dream."

"Oh. Do you still want to come to the meeting?"

"Yeah. I definitely don't want to miss this."

"Okay," she said hopping lightly through the window. "Then you should get dressed – but hurry. We don't want to keep the others waiting."

"What time is it?" I asked, staring blearily at the numbers on my alarm clock. "Alice, it's midnight! How long have they been waiting?"

"Not long. We had to be sure that we wouldn't be noticed so we waited until well after sunset. But we have to hurry, Bella. I don't want to miss anything."

I rolled out of bed and quickly slipped into some sweats. They weren't particularly flattering but I doubted anyone would care and at least it was better than pajamas. Then I turned to Alice. "Um," Alice?" I said. "How are we getting out of here?"

She pursed her lips and said, "the window, I guess."

"What?" I asked sharply and then I lowered my voice. "Are you insane? I'd kill my self!"

"Shh! Charlie's a light sleeper so we could hardly parade past his room and go out the front door."

"I can't just jump out the window!"

"I'll take you."

"What?"

"I'll carry you out."

Grudgingly, I agreed and she lifted me into her arms in a smooth motion. It felt so odd because while I knew this would hardly work her muscles, she was also at least a foot shorter than I was.

That was nothing, though. From there, holding me straight against her, she ran at the window and leapt through it, her body straight as an arrow. Once out the window. She tucked herself into a ball around me and flipped through the air to land lightly on her feet. I was biting my fist trying not to scream.

"If you ever do that again, Alice, I swear I will kill you!"

"What?" She looked honestly oblivious and a little hurt at my words. She really didn't understand why I was upset.

I opened my mouth to speak but before, she looked up at me sheepishly. "Oh," she said. "Sorry."

"No, it's okay. Let's go. Are we taking your car or mine?"

"Um..." she looked almost nervous for a moment. "I had actually thought we could run – or at least, I could. I think it would just be better over all."

I tensed. I didn't want any more vampire antics right now. "Fine," I told her. "But just promise me you won't run into anything."

"I promise," she answered, grinning. Again she swept my feet out from under me but this time she slung me onto her back.

"You have know idea how weird this feels," I muttered.

Her only reply was to push of and run into the forest with me hanging onto her for dear life.

This was very different from the time Edward had carried me from the clearing. Then, as now, I had been utterly terrified, but now, I was not unconditionally in love with the person carrying me and vice versa. Of course, I wasn't sure that that had been the case then, either, or Edward wouldn't have left me so easily. But Alice had said it was real and she wouldn't lie to me... would she? After all, she had left when Edward did. Maybe this was just a favour to him. But if he wanted me enough to ask for her help, then maybe he did love me after all

Gah! When did my love life get so complicated. I thought I had made up my mind! I'd thought I'd made it up twice – or even three times! Why did the situation have to keep changing on me? Why was everyone so dead set against me having a normal life.

I was whining and I knew it, but I also knew that I couldn't avoid it as long as I was thinking about my messed up paranormal relations. I decided to stop thinking about it, at least for now.

Unfortunately, without that to distract me, all I could think of was black fear as the forest blurred past me. My breathing was heavy and ragged and I was sure that Alice could feel my heart pounding against her back. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was just in a car, but I could feel each of Alice's regular footsteps. Then I tried to imagine myself as the runner, with my own feet pounding into the damp earth, but the steps were to rapid; no human could match them.

Instead I just held more tightly to Alice and waited. Surely, at the speed we were moving, we had to be close.

Some minutes later, Alice slowed, too quickly, and I could feel it as her delicate feet skidded through the soft moss and mud. Almost before she had fully stopped, I let go of her, wanting to be off her back as soon as possible. It was raining lightly and disoriented as I was, I slipped in the resulting mud and would have fallen if not for Alice's firm hand on my arm.

"Careful," she said. "It's slippery."

I bit back a harsh comment. She was only trying to be nice. Probably.

Now that we had stopped moving, I looked around. My eyes had adjusted fairly well to the night darkness but still, I could see only the faintest outlines of the figures in the clearing. They were divided into two distinct groups, one humanoid, and one distinctly canine. Both groups were watching me, their eyes glinting in the moonlight.

"Shall we begin?" Carlisle asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"We will stay wolf, tonight," Edward said in an odd voice. "We will watch." After a moment I realized that he must be speaking for the wolves.

Carlisle gestured to one of the figures by him – Emmett, I thought. It would make sense. He had always seemed to me to be the most dangerous, the most ready for a fight. But it was Jasper, not Emmett, who stepped into the brighter light in the center of the clearing. Edward's words from so long ago echoed in the back of my head: _Jasper had a very violent past. His upbringing was very different from ours..._

Then Jasper spoke. "The newborns will be strong. They will still be fresh from their human blood and will be stronger than any experienced vampire. Or wolf," he added, almost as an after thought. "We cannot win by pitting our strength to theirs because that is where we are weakest. The only way to win a battle against newborns is either a superior force – which we don't have – or to match our strength against their weakness.

"Newborns are strong, but because they are young, they have not had time to master the emotions. They will be ruled almost completely by their instincts which means that we must pit strategy against numbers. Does everyone understand?"

"Yes," said Edward in that same, odd voice.

"Come on," Emmett complained. "Let's cut the talk and practice!"

The corner of Jasper's mouth twitched up in a smile. "Not yet. Remember, strategy, not strength. We need to plan." He frowned but the expression was gone from his face in an instant. Still, he seemed slightly reluctant to speak. "Doubtless, if Victoria is raising them, they have been trained to hunt Bella. So it makes sense that, by giving them what they want, they will be distracted enough that we can defeat them more easily."

"We won't give Bella to them!" Edward shouted, at the same time that a wolf snarled off to my right. "Quiet," Edward snapped. To my surprise, the wolf – Jacob, I thought – stopped. After a moment I realized that Edward must have simply voiced Sam's mental command.

Jasper sighed and said in a soothing voice, "That wasn't what I had in mind."

"That's not much better," Edward hissed, speaking for himself.

"What?" Esme asked. I had to admit I was somewhat curious. Or maybe even a lot curious.

"Jasper, what are you saying?"

"Bella should accompany us to the battle, wherever it may be. She would go in front which would spark the blood lust in the newborns, thus increasing our chances of defeating them."

"We are not using Bella as bait!" Edward snarled, more harshly than Jacob who had begun to growl.

"It's logical, Edward," Jasper said calmly.

"Edward," Carlisle murmured, almost to softly for me to hear, "None of us are happy about this."

"It would help us win," Rosalie told him, but her gaze flicked to me as she spoke. I wondered who it was she was trying to convince.

Edward glared at her.

"Oh, come on," Emmett said. "We can keep her safe."

"No!" Edward shouted.

"Of course, the final choice will be Bella's," said Carlisle softly.

Edward turned his gaze on me and after a moment I looked away. The intense emotion in his eyes – Fear? Love? Anger? – made me uncomfortable.

"Bella?" Alice asked.

I took a deep breath. I had read the articles about the Seattle newborns. I knew the horrible things they could do. Any sane person would say no.

Clearly I wasn't sane. I refused to be shuffled out of the way again. Like I had been when Edward left. Like I had been when Jacob went wolf. I wouldn't be left behind. I wanted to help.

No. I definitely wasn't sane. "Yes," I whispered but despite my soft voice, everyone heard me. Edward snarled. Jacob howled.

"It's up to me," I snapped.

Jacob backed down first. I was surprised at the hurt I felt when he did. I had been so annoyed with everyone trying to control my life, so why did I feel upset that he didn't care? I knew it was stupid but I couldn't help it. I hoped it didn't show on my face.

"Thank you, Bella," Jasper said, his voice empty of any emotion. Then he returned to the subject of the newborns. "We will have to stay behind Bella in the clearing or they may detect our scent first and realize the trap. We will step in as soon as the third newborn is within sight.

"As for the individual immortals, they will be quite volatile but they will not easily be able to rationalize when a person is making an honest attack and when the attacker is..."

I sank to the ground and let my mind wander. Only a small portion was paying attention to what Jasper was saying. The fact was that it was too late and I was too tired to really pay attention.

After a while I heard quiet footsteps next to me and a soft panting. I looked up to see that the mahogany wolf had come over to me. He whined softly.

"Hey Jake," I said quietly, not wanting to interrupt the practice. Jasper had organized the vampires into pairs of opponents and was explaining strategies. "Why aren't you watching."

He tossed his head towards the iron gray wolf with the others, whose attention was fully focused on the fighting vampires.

"Sam's watching for you, huh? Are you just to lazy to pay attention yourself?"

He jumped up so that his large forepaws rested on my shoulders and licked my cheek.

"Ick," I said. "Behave yourself. As long as you're going to be lazy, you can at least be polite."

I knew it was impossible that Jake could be grinning in his wolf form but none the less he appeared to be. He put all four feet back on the ground and then lay down, resting his chin on his paws.

I turned my eyes back to the practice but, as interesting as it was, it was past midnight, and I was tired. I didn't even realize I'd fallen asleep until I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder.

"Bella, we have to get you home." That was Alice. I opened my eyes and realized that I was lying on the ground with my head against Jacob's soft back. I sat up quickly – wincing at the sudden head rush – and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Jacob didn't seem to be nearly as tired as I was because he jumped to his feet as soon as I moved my head.

"Sorry, Jake," I said. He jumped onto my shoulders again. "Don't you lick me again," I warned him.

He just grinned and nuzzled my cheek with his soft fur. I smiled and closed my eyes, but when I opened them again, I saw and Edward's face twist in pain. It was gone in a moment, but I pushed Jake away gently. Regardless of what he'd done, Edward didn't deserve this.

"I've got to go home," I said, patting Jacob on the head. He dodged playfully and scampered off into the woods.

"Come on." Alice grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet. I didn't even notice Edward until I saw his pale hand on her arm.

"Let me take her home," he said gently.

Alice glanced at me. "It's up to Bella."

I looked at Edward. I didn't really want to do it, but I didn't want to tell him no either. And, as much as I didn't want my life to get any more complicated than it already was – especially when it came to my love life – I missed seeing him.

"Sure."

Alice shrugged and walked off in more or less the same direction that Jacob had gone.

Edward swung me into his arms the way I used to. I still wondered, though, what it would feel like. Would be any different after all that had happened? If Edward had not left, would I still be as deeply in love with him as I was before, or were we just not meant to be together?

Edward started running. His gait was much smoother than Alice's, probably because he was farther from the ground. I was just as uncomfortable as I'd been before, though, just for a different reason. I kept my eyes closed and tried to forget how fast Edward was moving.

I was silent for a long time before I finally spoke. "I'm sorry," I said. "What happened with Jacob there... he shouldn't have done that – I shouldn't have let him do that."

Edward shook his head. "I meant it when I said I would support you, no matter what you chose."

I bit my lip. I wasn't sure if I wanted to talk about this. "I'm not sure I have chosen yet."

"Even so, I've done enough to you that you shouldn't be worried about hurting me."

"No. Just because it's fair doesn't mean it's right and I'm not even sure it's fair. I don't want to hurt you."

Edward sighed. "You have no idea how much of a relief that is. When I came back, I thought I'd find you dead and when a saw you alive, I couldn't think of anything except that it wasn't over. I hadn't managed to ruin everything and get you killed. Later, though, I began to think about what it all would mean to you that I was back. I thought you would ask me to leave, but I didn't even let myself hope that you'd care as much as you do."

**I sighed and relaxed against him. Now, when he spoke to me, there were no lies, just the raw truth. I couldn't hate him now, no matter what had been done in the past. "I don't hate you," I murmured, before sleep claimed me once more.**


	14. Return

On Monday, I went back to school. I was relieved when I got there that my friends were still willing to talk to me, even though I'd mostly ignored them since I started hanging out with Jake. Jessica was annoyed with me for ignoring her and but she softened up towards the end of the day. A lot of things had happened that she was anxious to tell me about, mainly, that she and mike were back together.

At this point, I was so confused about their relationship that wasn't entirely sure what to say so I congratulated her and did my best to change the subject.

Over all, it was a relief to fall back into my more or less normal routine. As long as I wasn't at school, I didn't have to worry about the newborn vampires that wanted to kill me. As long as I was at school, I could at least pretend that my life was as normal and boring and safe as everyone else's.

Edward and his family still hadn't returned to the school which was nice. As much as I loved Alice and... well, felt something about Edward, I didn't need the added stress. Besides, This was my time with my human friends. Alice and Edward would have to wait their turn.

When school was over, I had meant to go straight home, but something made me turn and head down to the Quileute reservation.

Jacob was on the beach when I found him, skipping rocks. It was still only early February but he was wearing only jean cutoffs. I shivered just thinking about it, but he didn't have to worry about the cold now that he was a wolf.

"Hey," I called.

"Hi, Bella," he said, not turning around. He through a rock with too much force and it made a huge splash, sprinkling him with water.

I came closer. "Jake, are you okay?"

He sighed and turned around. "Yeah, I guess."

"What's wrong?"

He walked over and sat down on a log, patting the space beside him. I sat down.

"So?"

"We have another wolf."

I frowned. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah... well, sort of. It's Leah Clearwater."

The name seemed familiar and I thought back, trying to fit the name to a face. "You don't sound too pleased about that."

"Well, I guess it's good to have more wolves, but... it's a lot more complicated than that."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "You know what I told you about Sam imprinting on Emily?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he was in love with someone before he went wolf and imprinted. He had been engaged to Leah."

"Oh." Then I thought about it for a moment and I felt a touch of anger. "So he just drops Leah and moves on, is that it?" I knew only too well what that could feel like.

"Wait a sec! That... That's not exactly what happened."

"How do you know?"

He grinned. "Hive mind, remember." Then he sighed again. "Sam didn't want to leave Leah, even after he met Emily. Unfortunately, Leah knew what was going on and told him that she didn't want his pretend love. Problem is, she still loves him, even though she knows he doesn't feel the same way."

"So what? Are Sam's feelings being hurt because he has to face the consequences of what he did?"

"Give him a break, Bella! He already felt guilty about what happened, and now with Leah here, it's going to be twice as bad. It's not good for the pack."

I sighed. "I suppose it wasn't his choice. But still, it wasn't Leah's fault either and it's not fair that everyone's pissed at her."

"I know. But she's not too happy about it either and it's makes her touchy, unpredictable. You never know when she's going to be normal and when she's gonna bite your head off."

I rolled my eyes. "You're a werewolf, who's willing to fight off a hoard of angry vampires, and yet your afraid of one wolf girl?"

"I'm not afraid," Jacob said indignantly, "It's just awkward, you know? Cause, she still feels something for Sam and when you go wolf, it's hard to distinguish someone else's feelings from yours. It just awkward, feeling like I'm in love with Sam. It's not normal."

I shook my head, "I think you guys are wimps. If I can deal with everything that you guys and the Cullens are throwing at me, then you can deal with this."

"Naw," Jake said, grinning, "You're tougher than we are."

I smiled in return. "Look, I'll leave you to it. I've got to get home."

He stood and helped to me feet but he caught my arm before I could take more than a step. "Wait," he said. He pulled me closer to him and pressed his lips to mine.

He was warm and soft, something that Edward had never been, but his words had gotten me thinking. He could drop me at any moment, just like Sam and Leah. There was no way anyone could guarantee that he'd always love me when people started throwing werewolf magic into the mix. Edward, though, he had meant it when he said he'd love me forever, and for him, that was more than an abstract concept.

I had been so sure that Jacob was the right choice, that I no longer loved Edward at all, but perhaps I had been wrong. Perhaps Edward had been the one all along.

Jacob pulled back, looking hurt and confused.

I smiled, but couldn't make myself say anything. Every time I thought I had wrapped my head around everything, something twisted and threw me off balance again. Now, I thought that I still loved Edward, and it scared me.

I waved a friendly goodbye and walked back to my truck, trying to keep my uncertainty from my face. I could keep myself from thinking about it, though as I pulled onto the main road.

I was absolutely sure that, regardless of my decisions, I was not finished with Edward. Despite what he'd done, despite Jacob, despite all my efforts to break off, I was still in love with him – at least in part. Now that he was back, all my doubts about his love had been crumbling away. The love had been – and, yes, still was – real for both of us.

But what about Jacob? What did this do to him? Why couldn't I ever be satisfied with one person? Jake was kind, fun – and definitely closer to my age – so why did my mind keep drifting to Edward's face? Why wouldn't it just do what it was told?

So what if I did love Edward more? Where did that leave Jacob? And of course, this brought me back to the Sam/Leah problem. Was it crueler to drop some one like an old toy as soon as you stopped loving them or to hold on long after the love was gone. I knew I couldn't choose right. I didn't want to hurt him.

I shook my head. Why was this even an issue for me? I'd chosen Jake, and I was sticking with him.

This was ridiculous. I rubbed my forehead with one cold hand. I felt like my life had turned into a bad teenage romance novel. It was all Edward's fault. My life had been perfectly normal before I met him.

I was still frustrated when I pulled in front of the house and walked inside. I was surprised to see that Charlie was home already but I wasn't realy in the mood to talk. I went straight up to my room instead.

"Hey there, Bella," a cheerful voice piped up. "What took you so long?"

I must have jumped a foot the chair. "Alice! What are you doing here?"

"I'm talking to you, Silly," she told me.

I shook my head. "Look, Alice. I like you, you're lots of fun, but you've got to stop climbing in my window. You going to give my dad a heart attack."

"I did not come through your window," she told me indignantly. "I came through the front door. Charlie saw me and, believe me, he was perfectly fine. Oh, and by the way, you don't have to worry. I told him all about our sleep over."

I frowned, "What sleepover," I asked carefully.

"The one where I kidnap you tonight and take you to my house."

"And why didn't I know about this?"

"Because I didn't tell you about it until just now."

"Okay, wait a sec. So why am I going to your house, again?"

"Oh, come on! Please? It'll be just the two of us."

"What? Where's everyone else?"

"They're on a hunting party. I finally managed to get a glimpse of a location for Victoria and her band of loyal followers so... they're going to see if they can take care of the whole thing now. I'm staying home in case she circles back for you."

"Look, Alice, I'll be fine."

"Oh but I won't," she said, putting on an utterly devastated expression. "Why don't you want to come? After all, we've been planning this for months!"

"Alice -"

"Don't even bother," she said, cutting me off. "I've got your dad on my side."

My shoulders slumped in defeat. "Okay, you win. When should I come over?"

"I'll drive you over right now."

"Alice, I seriously doubt that Victoria is going to attack me in broad daylight."

"Who said that was the only reason you were coming over? Come on." she grabbed my hand and began pulling me out of the room.

"Wait a sec. I need to pack."

"No you don't. I did that for you. Now come on."

As I followed her out of the room, I wanted if even Alice's vampired family had trouble keeping up with her.

"Okay," I said, looking around the Cullen's spacious living room. "You've kidnapped me, there is no escape, ad so on. Now what?"

"Well, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know! You took me here, you think of something."

She pursed her lips. "Well I suppose there's always the default. Junkfood – for you at least- and movies, nails, and talking about the guys..." she trailed off at my look. "Hm, maybe not. But I'm still going to do your nails."

"Alice, I don't want my nails done!"

"Yes you do," she told me matter-of-fact-ly.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, whatever you say – just not pink!"

"No. I was thinking a nice deep red."

"Whatever. You're the expert."

She took me up to her room and sat me down at the enormous vanity in the middle of the far wall. She opened one drawer that was filled – actually filled – with high quality nail polish, sorted neatly into colours. She glanced over them quickly and then pulled out a dark red and got to work on my hands.

I'd never gotten a manicure – to tell the truth I was afraid I would go in and the manicurist would shake her head and tsk and my stubby nails – but I was fairly sure that this was what it was like. Alice's cold hands massaged mine and moisturized them before she even opened the nail polish. When she did, the strokes were smooth and neat so the nail polish was evenly spread over my nail and none of it touched my finger.

"Can I ask you a question," she said after a few minutes.

I shrugged, careful not to move my hand. "Sure."

"What does James have to do with me?"

I hadn't been expecting that. "Didn't Edward tell you?"

"Well sure, but he could only tell me what you'd told him and he still didn't tell me everything. Please, Bella. I need to know."

I sighed and tried hard to remember that night, almost a year ago, when James and Victoria had taken me away and tortured me. "He said something about killing two birds with one stone. He said he'd known you as a human – that you'd been a... pet of another vampire. Sort of like I am to you guys. He said he had tracked you down to a mental hospital where you'd been put because of your visions."

"You mean I had them even as a human?"

"I guess so."

"Sorry. Please go on."

"He said he befriended your vampire benefactor to try and get to you but you saw what was going to happen and the guy turned you. James didn't like losing but there was no more fun in killing you then so he left it alone. He obviously didn't forget, though."

"So that's how Victoria's been hiding so long. I thought it was just the insanity but perhaps she's actively trying to hide."

I frowned. "That doesn't quite work. Even if she's trying not to make up her mind about anything, it's impossible not to make any decisions about a revenge scheme while you're planning it. You should have seen something before now."

"I actually have a theory about that," she said. "I remember what you said about me not being able to see the werewolves – and I think it's true. I keep looking in the future but it's mostly a blur. Occasionally I catch glimpses of you or Jasper or Edward, but never the wolves. Maybe it's the same with Victoria."

"But why her and not any of the other vampires?"

"I think... maybe I can't see her future for the same reason I can see everyone else's. Maybe it's her gift."

"That actually makes sense. Bur what about the newborns? They shouldn't be hidden from you."

She shook her head. "The newborns give me a headache. They're impossible to get a lock on because they're so undisciplined. They're even worse at making decisions and sticking to them than Victoria is."

"Yeah. I remember Jasper saying that. Speaking of which, how does Jasper know so much about them?"

Alice sighed and put the nail polish away, "What do you know," she asked after a moment.

"Not much. I now it had something to do with vampire wars in the south but other than that..." I trailed off.

"Alright... He was born in eighteen forty two, in florida. He ran away from home when he was twelve and when the war started in sixty one, he joined up with them. Two years later. He was set upon by a vampire by the name of Maria. For some time, she had wanted a territory of her own in the south but she knew she needed support and she wanted someone who could fight and take orders. Jasper was her third attempt.

"She made a few more 'officers' but Jasper had been first so everyone but her was under his command. Once she had her enforcers, though, all their victims were experiments and fodder for her takeovers. Of course they still needed to be controlled and that's where most of Jasper's scars come from. Eventually some friends of his turned traitor and invited him to come with them.

"He was reluctant at first but the murderous atmosphere was tough on him because of his empathy, so he took the out they offered. It was a good thing, too. The Volturi stepped in only a month later and if they had killed him, I never would have met him."

I grinned. "That's kind of single minded, don't you think? You don't care about the newborns or the humans at all. The only thing you think about is your mate."

Alice shrugged. "It's not really as odd for us as you think. Vampires are _very _attached to their mates. That's why Victoria is going crazy about avenging James."

"i thought that was because she was insane. Are you saying all vampires are like that?"

"Oh, no. vampires may be passionate about their mates but their plans for revenge are rarely this extravagant."

"That's a relief," I said.

She frowned. "You probably don't want do hear this, but..."

"What?" I asked, though I was fairly sure I didn't want to hear it.

"That's partly why I know that Edward is serious. He wouldn't have left if he hadn't chosen you as a mate. Your mate's safety takes priority even over their company."

I put my head in my hands. "Alice, I don't know what to do."

"I know," she told me.

"Who should I choose?"

**She put a hand on my shoulder. "I can't tell you. But when the time comes, you'll know."**


	15. Battle Grounds

A week had passed before I saw Alice again. Their hunt had been unsuccessful so I knew the time was coming when she would take me to fight the vampires. I personally wouldn't fight – I didn't have a chance against a vampire, especially not a stronger new born – but I still played a very important role in the battle.

As Edward had put it, I was the bait. I was the scent that the newborns would be following so we hoped that my presence would distract them long enough for the Cullens and the wolves to take care of them. I just hoped they were fast enough to stop me from getting killed in the process.

"It's time, Bella," Alice said, poking her head in my window of my second story bedroom.

I jumped, almost dropping the book I was reading. "Alice what did I tell you about coming in through my window?"

She didn't smile, "I didn't want to waste time coming in the front door. As near as I can tell, we have just under and hour before the vampires get too close to the town."

"Oh. I see. Just a minute." I set down the book and walked over to the window.

"You might want to grab a coat," Alice told me. "It's going to snow."

"Great," I muttered as I picked up my too thin coat from the foot of my bed. "So not only do I have to face rampaging vampires but I have to do it in the cold. I hate cold."

"Tough," Alice said.

I glanced up sharply. She seemed on edge. "You don't want me to come, do you."

She sighed. "You know what I said about leaving because you weren't as high on my priorities as Edward?"

I remembered. Only a few days ago I would have winced, thinking about it, but I'd gotten over it. I nodded.

"That doesn't mean I don't care about you and I really don't want to see you hurt – much less killed! You're important to me – and to Edward – and I don't like putting you at risk."

I frowned. "So why did you come and get me?"

"It's your choice, when it comes right down to it. And I could hardly leave you here alone."

"Look, Alice, nothing is going to happen," I said, sounding much more certain than I felt.

"How do you know that? I don't even know that! I'm practically blind!"

"That's really what's bothering you, isn't it?"

She sighed. "Yeah, I guess. Come on, we don't have much time."

I paused for a moment, considering leaving a note, but finally decided not to. After all, if everything went according to plan, I would be back before Charlie woke up.

I walked over to Alice and she lifted me out of the window – much more gently than she had the last time – and then dropped lightly to the ground. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she was off, and I tucked my face into her cold, hard shoulder, trying – and failing – not to feel like an infant in the arms of an adult. Alice was a foot shorter than me for heaven's sake!

At least we would be there soon.

But then what. I was going to end up in the middle of a field with thirty or so hungry vampires trying to kill me. All I could hope was that my protectors were fast enough because one blow from a single new born could kill me. And that didn't even take Victoria and her... companion into account. No doubt they were better trained and better controlled.

I breathed deeply and carefully... seven counts in... seven counts out... trying to slow my racing heart. It was beating so loudly in my ears that I was sure that Victoria and her army could hear it despite the distance.

I told myself I would survive, just as I had the last time, but it was hard to convince myself that we would win when we were outnumbered almost three to one. All I could do now was hope.

After a few minutes, gentle snow began to fall in small, cold flakes. I shivered and was grateful for the coat. As much as I hated to admit it, it didn't help that Alice's skin was even colder than the cool air.

Alice's gait was much smoother this time around and I hardly noticed as she slowed.

"Can't you see she's shivering?" Edward's anxious voice surprised me for it's suddenness.

"It's not like there was anything I could do about it," Alice snapped. "I made sure she had a coat."

He ran over and lifted me out of Alice's arms but I pushed him away.

"Put me down," I said. "I can walk fine."

He released me without argument.

"Leave her alone, Bloodsucker," Jacob called from a few meters away. "It's not like you can help."

Glancing around, I realized that he was the only wolf in man form. I counted six others in various colours. I wondered which one was Leah.

Stiffly, Edward stepped back. He nodded, acknowledging that Jacob was right, but he was angry. Is pale hands were clenched into fists.

Jacob, shirtless despite the freezing weather, came over and pulled me into one of his tight bear-hugs. Instantly I felt warmer. That was one aspect of being a wolf that I would always be jealous of. I was always cold.

I hugged him back and then pressed my ice-cold hands into the small of his back.

"Argh!" he yelped, ducking away from me. "Bella, you're freezing!"

"I know," I said sarcastically, tucking my hands under my arms.

"Here," Jake said, wrapping my hands in his.

"So, Bella," Carlisle asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you ready."

I jumped. "Don't do that," I gasped, closing my eyes and leaning my forehead into Jake's large shoulder. "I didn't here you coming."

"I apologize," Carlisle said softly. "Are you ready."

I nodded, and then swallowed. "Yeah, I'm ready. What do you want me to do?"

Carlisle called Jasper over and the two of them talked me through what was needed. The plan was simple. I would sit in the middle of the field and wait for the vampires with the hope that seeing me, their goal, would drive them into something of a frenzy, thus making them easier to kill. I was, quite unflatteringly, the bait. And if I was lucky, one of the Cullens would be next to me in time to stop any new born attacks.

The entire defensive force would be waiting at the edge of the trees, ready to spring as soon as the time came.

Really, there wasn't all that much for me to do. The first thing was simply to walk around the clearing a few times and rub up against the trees to fill the area with my scent. The second was simple: just sit in the middle of the field and wait.

But, most importantly, they had told me, I had to stay still, regardless of what I saw. Above all else, I couldn't run, because then I would be nothing more than prey, and doubly hard to protect. I promised to do my best, but from my experience with vampires I knew how hard it would be to follow through.

Alice told us we had between three and six minutes before the vampires arrived and we spent a few last minutes saying good luck – but not good bye. Never good bye.

Jake put his arms around my waist and smiled. "Will you give me a kiss for good luck?" he asked cheerfully.

How could he be so calm? I smiled back. "Men," I said disgustedly. "you all have one track minds."

He laughed and tousled my hair with a warm dark hand.

I sighed. "Jake, I... this could be the last time we see each other,"

"Who are you kidding?" he said confidently. "These guys'll be no problem. This is just going to be fun."

'I wish I had your confidence," I muttered. Then, "Jake, I love you." The words sounded wrong, like they didn't quite fit somehow.

"I love you, too," he said, and without another word, he pulled me into a warm kiss. I tried not to think of it as our last.

But for all it's warmth and sincerity, I felt nothing. No desire, no passion... there was love, yes – I didn't think I could ever not love Jacob – but not that kind. Not as a man and a woman.

Ashamed and afraid, I pulled back, looking at the ground.

Noticing my reluctance, he asked. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said weakly. "I'm just scared that's all."

"It'll be okay." He reached for my hand and I flinched back. Unable to face him now, I fled to the Cullen's circle.

Having seen the vampires practice, I knew they were good and very dangerous, and that nothing I said or did could help, really, but I made sure to say something to each of them. At the very least it gave me a reason not to talk to Jacob. I couldn't face him now, right before the battle. One by one, I spoke to the Cullens – even Rosalie listened – but when I got too Edward, I just... couldn't. One glance at his worried face and I knew I was words away from a mental breakdown so I hurried into the center of the clearing without another glance.

We waited, silent, strained, ready... the seconds dragged by until the waiting was almost to much to bear.

The silence was our only warning.

The quiet panting of the wolves cut off sharply and after a moment I realized that my own breathing had stopped as well.

Then the first pale form became visible through the trees.

Everything seemed to move slowly, then. Every instinct in my body screamed at me to run but I held myself firm. Clenching my hands in the snow covered grass. I was breathing heavily and it took every ounce of my control not to scream.

The second figure was visible now and I bit my cheek so hard it bled. I could see their glowing red eyes and their teeth that glistened faintly in the moonlight. An instant later, three more vampiric forms were visible through the trees. Where were my vampires? Why hadn't they done anything.

Four more vampires, then two more... I was going to die. I was stunned by how little that thought disturbed me. How calm and still everything seemed despite the savage purpose of everything that was happening. Maybe, because I had faced this before and looked death in it's glowing red eyes, this no longer held any fear for me.

The first vampire was metres away and in his excitement, he had fallen onto all fours, running on his hands and feet in away that was not at all human. Closer, and closer... I stiffened, waiting for the attack, but at the last minute, Edward appeared in front of me and the creature bounced off him and rolled away.

In that instant, that terrifying moment of stillness ended abruptly, and everything became a blur. Jasper was beside Edward a moment later and the rest began advancing, though more slowly, as they fought their way through countless vampire bodies. Once I thought I recognized a face from a newspaper article but it's owner moved far too quickly for me to be sure.

Seconds passed, and then a hand gripped my collar and tossed me towards the edge of the field. My first thought was that my defenders had failed and I was about to die – again – but then I realized that the trees ahead of me were free of vampires. I had one or two seconds to be happy about that before I landed and my hand twisted painfully beneath me.

Awkwardly, I cradled my damaged hand to my chest and turned to survey the carnage before me. Still moving body parts littered the ground and my stomach churned. This was not something any eighteen year old should have to see. It wasn't a sight anyone should have to see, really, but the rest didn't seem to notice.

None the less, I steeled myself to watch. I watched the quickly moving fray with a careful eye but couldn't see Victoria's fiery hair amid the newborns. I tried to keep my eyes on the fight but when a detached head snapped at me soundlessly, it was all a could do to keep from vomiting. After that I kept my eyes tightly shut.

I breathed deeply, trying to stay calm, but I couldn't get the images out of my head. The shrieks and howls that filled the clearing echoed in my ears. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and tried as hard as I could not to throw up.

"Bella!" Alice shouted, her voice a mix of despair and horror.

My eyes snapped open just in time to see a wolf lunging for me. I flinched back, wondering why one of the wolves was attacking me – after all, weren't we supposed to be on the same side – but to my surprise, the silver blonde wolf sailed over my head to crash into something behind me. I ducked away, wincing as it twisted my injured hand, and spun just in time to see Victoria, finally making her appearance with a blonde boy by her side, sink her teeth into the wolf's shoulder.

I gasped. I knew enough of the venom to realize that the wolf was dead – either that, or some kind of vampire werewolf cross. As soon as the venom was in the bloodstream, there was no getting it out. The wolf snarled and swiped a claw across the woman's face leaving three deep gouges across her otherwise perfect features.

Just then, the boy beside her stepped in and and threw the wolf across the clearing. The wolf skidded across the ground and leapt back to its feet, rolling its bitten shoulder in a distinctly un-wolf-like motion. Then I was sailing through the air again as Alice and Edward appeared between me and the two vampires.

"Can you stop throwing me around?" I muttered as I landed hard on my tail bone.

A moment later, another pale, red-eyed head landed next to me and I kicked it away as hard as I could, trying not to scream. Then I looked around at the battle grounds. To my relief, none of thee scattered remains seemed to belong to any of the Cullens... my heart nearly stopped as I saw a mahogany wolf lying limply on the ground.

Jacob. Without another thought, I ran over to him and surveyed the damage. The barrel of his chest was drenched in blood and I could swear I saw a flash of white bone protruding from the dark fur. I pressed my ear to his bloody chest and let out an astonished sigh of relief as I heard a faint heartbeat. As impossible as it was, Jacob was alive, at least for now. I looked around but, for all that the newborns had been greatly reduced, there was no one free to help.

I stroked his bloodstained fur gently and murmured to him trying to think of something I could do when, to my amazement, he lifted his head.

"Jake!"

He let his tongue hang out and panted shallowly.

"Jake, are you okay?"

His lips pulled back in a canine grin and he nodded tiredly, but he made no effort to stand. I had the feeling he was doing as well as he pretended.

"What happened?"

He turned his head and for the first time I noticed the twitching body next to him.

"Oh." I looked away, trying to distract myself from the disgusting heap near me, and my eye was caught by the battle being raged where I had been moments before. Victoria and her friend were doing surprisingly well against Edward, Alice, and the mystery wolf, given that they didn't have quite the strength advantage the rest of the newborns possessed.

The boy seemed to be holding off Alice and the wolf as best he could with an arm missing – I tried not to think about where it might be – while Edward kept all his attention on Victoria. With a final lunge, the wolf's teeth fastened around the vampires remaining shoulder and in that moment of opportunity, Alice leapt up and tore his head from his body.

Letting out a piercing shriek, Victoria ducked around Edward to run at me again. Before I had time to do anything, Jacob struggled to his feet and sprung at her, biting and scratching at every opening. She snarled viciously and pulled him off of her to hurl him against the nearest tree. I choked, unable to breathe as I heard something crack against it's tall trunk.

Stunned, I turned back to Victoria and saw a crazed, wild light in her eyes that was beyond any speech or recognizable emotion. She was grinning wildly and her hands were clawlike and ready. I opened my mouth to scream before I could, Edward was on her, and a moment later, her head was rolling away along the damp grass.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright?" Edward had abandoned Victoria's body without a second glance and was kneeling beside me, his cold hands in my hair.

"I'm fine," I said, reluctantly pushing his hands away. "I think Jake's hurt!"

Edward looked over at his limp form and nodded quickly. "Carlisle, we have wounded!" he called, and I looked over in surprise to see that the battle had effectively ended.

The blonde doctor came over to us with in human speed. "Where are you hurt?" he asked clinically.

I shook my head. "It's not me, it's shake. I think he's hurt badly."

Carlisle looked up and nodded, then disappeared to help the injured wolf.

Once he was gone, Edward shook his head wordlessly. "I thought I'd lost you – three times. I never wanted you to come. It went against the grain to put you in danger again."

I put a hand on his cheek. "Edward, I'm fine. Nothing happened," I told him in an unbelievably calm voice. There was no need to add that I was still scared beyond belief.

In a soft voice, he added, "I would have been too late just then if it weren't for Jacob. I -"

I cut him off. "Edward, nothing happened. We're all alright." Well, almost all. I looked over to where Carlisle knelt over Jacob with the gray wolf, Sam, at his side. "Do you think he'll be alright?" I asked.

"I think so. Werewolves heal very fast. They're tough."

I nodded numbly and sighed. Looking around at the carnage that filled the clearing, it was impossible to believe that Jacob was our only casualty – and if Edward was right, he would probably survive. I leaned tiredly against Edward and watched Jacob silently.

"He'll be alright," Edward said again, stroking my arm gently. I shivered and closed my eyes relaxing into the curve of his arm. "Would you like me to take you home?" he asked pulling me into his arms.

I shook my head tiredly. "No, I'll wait. Put me down. "

He did and I leaned against him, too exhausted to stand on my own. After a moment, I asked, "You don't mind staying, do you?"

He kissed me gently on the forehead and murmured, "I'll stay until you order me away."

I was so surprised by the intensity in his voice that I pulled away and looked at him curiously. By his eyes, I could see that he meant every word. "Never. I don't want you leave me ever again," I said softly. "I love you."

With an odd look in his eyes, he leaned towards me, but then paused. I smiled faintly and closed the distance, pressing my lips to his.

As we kissed, I was overwhelmed by a sense of rightness that I hadn't felt since Edward had left. I pulled myself tightly against him, and at last, I was sure that this was what I was looking for. This was who I wanted to spend the rest off my life with.

After a long, perfect moment, Edward stiffened and I pulled back in surprise.

Then I saw Jacob's mahogany wolf frozen by the edge of the trees and looking at me with a truly indescribable look on his face.

"Jake, I..." but he had already disappeared into the trees. A moment later, the rest of the wolves followed him.


	16. Complications

I stood, dumbfounded, and watched the empty space where he had stood. After a moment, I blinked in surprise, and then slammed my head into Edward's shoulder. "How could I be so mean?"

He pulled me close and gently stroked the back of my head. "It's not your fault. He'll be alright."

I sighed. "You only say that because you came out on top." Even though I knew that it was true, I couldn't be upset with him. It was my fault after all.

"True. But he will be alright. I believe it's been said that time heals all wounds."

My voice was muffled by his shoulder as I replied. "Whoever said that was an idiot. It didn't heal mine."

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't understand."

I was too tired to argue. "Don't be. I'm... stronger now." I stood there for a long time, comfortable and content except for my concern for Jacob and the persistent throbbing in my hand. Finally, I sighed and called, "Carlisle, I think I hurt my hand."

Edward pulled back. "Why didn't you tell me? You said you were fine!"

"I am fine. It's not a big deal."

"Leave her be, Edward," Carlisle said gently, taking my hand in his. He felt along the bones with the cold fingers, asking if I felt any pain. Eventually, he nodded. "It's just a sprain. I can tape it up but you'll have to be gentle to it and, of course, you'll have to think of something to tell Charlie."

"Tell him you fell out of bed," Alice said from beside me. "I'm sure he'd believe that."

"Well, you seem to be in a better mood," I muttered.

She grabbed my arms and swung me in a circle. "I can see again, Bella! Of course I'm in a good mood!"

I winced. "Alice," I said gently as she set me down, "Be gentle. I have a sprained wrist."

She grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I knew that I just forgot. Do you forgive me?"

"I suppose," I told her.

"Anyway, I guess I should -" she froze, her head snapping to the midnight shadows in the trees to my left. Edward stiffened.

"What is it," Esme and I asked almost simultaneously.

"Get Bella out of here," Alice ordered.

"There's not enough time," Edward snapped.

_Not again, _I thought. It seemed like I only ever got out of one dangerous situation to fall into another one. "Will somebody tell me what's going on?"

"We're about to have guests," Alice said.

"More newborns?" Jasper asked.

Edward shook his head. "No." His next words were too low and fast for me too catch but by the grim faces of the Cullens, I was sure that it wasn't good.

"Edward," I said, catching his arm. "What's going to happen to me?"

He looked back at me anxiously. "I don't know. Stay behind me."

I was perfectly willing to hide behind him. I wasn't exactly eager to be involved in another vampire battle.

The Cullens had formed something of a wall between me and the line of trees – an arrangement that I was perfectly happy with – but only seconds after Alice had issued the warning, another figure moved in the shadows of the forest.

Unlike the newborns, he was well dressed in a gray suit, and his eyes were dark under neat hair. His jaw was clear and strong with now beard to hide it. He looked to be in his late twenties, though for all I knew, he could be older than Carlisle.

He strode into the clearing, clearly trying to appear casual. He didn't quite succeed. He was too tense, with the sinuous movements of a hunter.

I shuddered. This wasn't an immortal who preyed on animals. Which did raise the question, what was he doing here. I had never seen him before and he clearly wasn't a newborn, so who was he? And why were the Cullens so afraid of him?

He gave a faint, humourless smile and said dryly, "Well, you've caused quite a ruckus."

"Our apologies," Carlisle said warily. "We were merely defending our territory."

For the first time, the man seemed to notice the body parts that littered the ground. "I see," he said softly. "I assume, then, that nothing like this will happen again." His inflection made the statement a question.

"I can assure you that this won't be repeated. We merely want to live in peace – the last thing we would want would be to risk our security."

The man nodded, smiling faintly. Then he wrinkled his nose. "It smells like animals in here," he muttered. He sniffed and then froze. His voice was harsher when he spoke again. "'You wouldn't want to risk our security'? Fools! What have you done?"

Edward's hand tightened on mine. None of the Cullens said anything.

"Show me," the man hissed in a manner that didn't fit his fine clothes.

Reluctantly, the Cullens pulled apart, but Edward didn't release my hand. "Joel," he said tightly, "This is Bella. My mate."

I didn't think I was imagining the emphasis he put on the last two words. In fact, it was the first time he had used them on me, but they seemed right and permanent in a way 'girlfriend' wouldn't. I could tell that it also had an affect on the mystery vampire. Joel, Edward had called him.

He sighed. "I see. That... complicates things."

"I can assure you that Bella understand the importance of secrecy," Carlisle said gently.

I wanted to add my own assurances but I didn't think it would help.

"I believe... this is beyond me. I'm afraid," he said, turning to Carlisle, "That I must request that you and your coven accompany me to see my masters."

Reluctantly, Carlisle nodded. "Of course."

The Cullens broke formation but no one seemed to relax in the slightest.

"So where are we going?" I asked Edward. Nothing was making sense

He sighed. "Italy."

I stopped where I stood. "Edward, I can't just go to Italy. I have, like, school and stuff."

"Bella, we really don't have a choice."

"No! I need to tell Charlie at least! I can't just abandon him again!"

Edward pursed his lips and then nodded. "Alice," he said softly, "you know him best and Joel wouldn't trust Bella with a phone."

She nodded understanding and pulled a hot pink phone out of her pocket. How it hadn't gotten crushed in the fray was a mystery to me. She quickly dialed in a number and left a message.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about Charlie waiting up to an empty house. Finally I said, "Now will you tell me just what's going on?"

His jaw tightened and his free hand clenched into a fist. "Joel Buchner is the Washington representative of the Volturi. He came to deal with Victoria and her newborns."

Volturi. The name sounded somewhat familiar. I thought back and eventually nodded as I remembered.

It had been almost a year ago that Edward had shown me the painting in Carlisle's study that depicted the three ruling vampires surveying their domain. The painting had been done two or three hundred years ago but that was a much shorter time to a vampire than it seemed to me. They were still around and, clearly, still maintaining their rule.

"Okay," I said more softly. "What are the chances of me getting out of this alive?"

Edward swung around to face me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Bella, I promise, I will die before I let anything happen to you."

"Do you think it will come to that?" I asked, looking up at him anxiously.

"I don't know."

I sighed. "How is everyone else taking this? They're at risk, too."

Edward shrugged and said, "Carlisle and Esme are excited to see the Volturi. Carlisle hasn't spoken with them since he left in the late seventeen hundreds. He still wishes the circumstances were better. Esme's is very concerned for you. Alice is watching carefully to see if anything bad is going to happen but she hasn't seen anything. She's very anxious about losing you, and Jasper is upset that he's upset and – though I doubt he'd say it, he's beginning to grow fond of you. Emmett doesn't care much either way but Rosalie is annoyed at being dragged half way around the world for your sake."

"What about you?" I asked.

He looked at me seriously and replied, "I would go to the ends of the earth for you, Bella. I'll do anything to keep you safe."

I let out a small sigh of relief. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that."

I'd never been able to sleep on planes, no matter how tired I was. Now, even though I'd hardly gotten any sleep for the past few weeks, I was too anxious and fearful to sleep even as Edward carried me to the airport.

Once the plane – a private jet owned by a company called Volt Inc. - had taken off, I was filled with the sense that after this there was no turning back. Either they would kill me or the Cullens would be forced to keep a very close eye on me which meant they'd have to keep me with them. I was definitely rooting for the latter, but I had no experience with the Volturi and I had no idea what they would choose.

Alice had been unnaturally silent since the battle. Edward said she was just focusing on trying to predict what would happen but the frown that creased her forehead was becoming more and more fixed and I was fairly sure that what she was seeing wasn't good. Edward was concerned, too, though he hid it well. He may have been a good liar but I was beginning to detect the subtle changes in his speech that betrayed emotions.

A few feet away, Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie were having a lengthy discussion in low tones. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but I thought it might be the battle with the newborns. Jasper had detached himself from the conversion earlier when he saw Alice's growing concern and had gone to sit by her. As soon as she had, she relaxed more than could be attributed to Jasper's emotional control. I wondered if it was a mate thing.

The Volturi vampire, Joel, was sitting by one of the windows and watching the scene idly in a way that was clearly meant to be human and unobtrusive but something about his too straight back and the perfect rhythm of his tapping foot was eerie – even more so than his eyes. Edward, my head resting against his cold shoulder, never let his eyes leave Joel's face except for the occasional glance at Alice.

Over all, the only person who seemed completely relaxed was Emmett. He was actually looking forward to the confrontation – if it was a confrontation. I still didn't have any idea what to expect and I didn't dare ask with Joel sitting right there.

"Don't worry," Edward murmured in my ear. "Alice thinks things are looking a little better."

"You're not as good a liar as you think you are," I muttered back. "Alice can't see what they're going to do until they've decided, and so far it's not looking good."

"I guess I'll have to practice. But you are right about one thing. The Volturi are considering the possibilities right now. Joel sent a message ahead – they like to be kept appraised of what's going on."

"What are 'the possibilities'?" I asked, trying not to sound afraid.

He paused and then replied, "There aren't too many, but over all things are looking good."

"Edward," I said gently but firmly. "I need to know. No more lies, even to protect me."

He sighed. "The most prominent idea at the moment is to simply kill you. It could cause problems for them but they think that the risk is less than leaving you alive with all that you know. Arrigo is not convinced but Cleo thinks that anything less risks too much. He's the most blood thirsty of the three. Still, though, Arrigo and Marco have not decided and I'm hoping to dissuade them from that once we've arrived." He paused for a moment and then added, "If that is their verdict, my family will fight for you. We won't give you up."

I could tell by the hopeless tone in his voice that, if it came to an outright fight, we'd lose. I closed my eyes and said softly, "What else?"

"They might send a guard to keep an eye on you but I doubt they'd want to expend the extra effort. They might send us to keep an eye on you, since we're already together, mostly. They might change you and keep you with them, under their watchful eye." I felt his shoulder slump as he added, "I'm not sure if this will work, Bella. We'll try our best but..." he didn't finish but I got the gist.

"Edward," I muttered, trying not to let him see how hard it was for me to say this,"If they choose to kill me, I don't want your family to die for nothing. I'll die eventually anyway. I'll only lose a few years."

"You have your whole life ahead of you, Bella! How can you say that?"

"There are worse things," I told him softly. "I don't want to die knowing that I've doomed seven other people."

"None of this is your fault, Bella! If it's anyone's fault, it's mine for dragging you into this -"

"I don't wish it hadn't happened! I wouldn't change anything of our lives together." I was somewhat surprised by the truth of what I'd said. From the very start, I'd had regrets and more pain than anyone would want, but even faced with death, I couldn't make myself want to go back, to become smaller. I was fairly sure that I'd had almost as much excitement and experience in the past year as some people have in their entire life time.

Of course, that still didn't mean I didn't wish it would last a little longer.

Sensing my distress, Edward wrapped his arms around me and let his head rest against mine. "It will be alright, Bella."

I took a deep breath and tried my best to believe him.

After that, I must have fallen asleep because the next time I opened my eyes, it was bright, midday light was streaming into the passenger compartment of a limozine. I blinked a few times and lifted my head from Alice's lap – Edward sat at my feet – to look out the heavily tinted window. In the dim light, I saw a the night skyline of an city approaching in the distance.

Alice nodded coldly.

"Volterra."


	17. Italy

Italy

It was nearly almost two o'clock by the time the vehicle pulled up in front of a tall, old fashioned building. The logo and company name on the glass double doors was the same that owned the jet and, presumably, the limo. All controlled by the Volturi.

Hidden under long clothing that protected them from the sun, the vampires made the short walk to the doors safely. Inside the building, the lighting was bright against cream walls and simple gray chairs. Fairly abstract paintings were hung on the walls and over all, the building seemed very businesslike.

The olive skinned receptionist sat at a marble desk and smiled and us across the room. "Ciao," she said in a clear, high voice. "Benvenuti a Terre Incorporato. Il mio nome è Gianna Leporre. Come posso aiutarti?"

"English, Gianna," Joel muttered.

"Of course, Mr. Buchner," she replied in English only slightly coloured with an accent. She looked down.

Joel glanced at her disdainfully and said, "Tell them we've arrived."

"Yes, sir," Gianna replied, quickly entering something into her computer. There didn't seem to be any need to specify who 'they' were.

Without another word to her, he walked passed the desk and led us into a elevator. We followed him nervously – at least, I was nervous. Once the main doors had closed behind us, he turned to face the back and typed a code into an unobtrusive panel there. He seemed more relaxed than anyone else there as we slowly descended, but I had to wonder what he had done to make Gianna so afraid of him.

"Was she... human?" I asked Edward in a nervous whisper.

"Yes," he murmured.

I frowned. "Does she know... you know, about vampires?"

"Yes," he said again.

"So why does she get away with it when they want to kill me for the same thing?"

"Well, for one, the Volturi have kept her too frightened to tell – she's seen enough people go through here that haven't come back – but she doesn't want to tell."

"Why not – I mean, aside from that she doesn't want to die?"

"She wants to join them one day."

I thought I heard Rosalie mutter, "Can't see why anyone would do so willingly."

"Join? Do you mean she wants to become a vampire?"

"Yes. She wants to earn the change through service."

"She will," Joel interrupted. "Presuming no one gets hungry." The doors slid open and he walked through them into the room beyond.

"I'm sure that'll inspire people to serve them," Alice muttered as she followed him out with Japser close behind.

I shuttered and tried to get the image of Joel's teeth in Gianna neck.

"After you," Carlisle said, gesturing towards the open doors.

Edward's arm tightened around my waist and we left the elevator, followed by the last four people of our party.

The room on the other side of the elevator's doors was very disjointed from the rest of the building. The walls were painted a deep, rich gold with ivory crown molding around the edges of the room. The floor was polished marble that echoed nine pairs of feet as they entered the room. There were two benches in the room – mahogany with rich velvet cushions in fading red and purple – and a chrystal chandalier hanging from the high ceiling.

I blinked once and then realized that, yes, the chandelier was using actual candles, as were the four sconses on the walls to either side of the elevator. The grand walls were decorated further with renaissance paintings depicting various scenes.

Despite the grandness of the furniture and decorations, the double doors at the opposite end of the room commanding my attention as soon as I entered. They were made of ornately carved wood that reached almost to the ceiling with large brass knockers more than a foot in diameter.

Joel opened them without any significant sign of effort.

I was already off balance from his unnatural show of strength so I choked when I saw the room beyond. If the waiting room had been grand, this was... completely indescribable.

"They will see you now," Joel said, beckoning us through.

I walked passed wide-eyed, forgetting, for the moment, that I was probably about to die.

The marble floor continued through into a room that was easily bigger than my entire house. Intricate columns ringed the room and left a shadowy passageway against the room's wall. There were no windows – understandable, given the vampires' reaction to UV – but the massive room was still lit brightly by four or five chandeliers and countless oil lamps along the walls. The only furniture in the room was the three throne-like chairs at the other end of the room.

The vampire seated at the chair on the right was fair haired with fine bone structure that was made harsh by the paleness of his skin. His lips were full and as pale as the rest of him – his dark eyes, of course, being the exception. He wore black trousers and a formal red shirt buttoned all the way up to his pale throat.

The center seat was taken up by a tall and rather imposing figure with long black hair tied back into a neat ponytail. He was dressed in a fine black business suit that was tailored perfectly to his thin form. He definitely seemed to be the most mature – and possibly the most dangerous of the three.

The last vampire was the biggest, with a wide face and bored eyes. His hair was thick and dark and fell in gentle waves to his shoulders. Of the three, he was the only one who had not accepted modern clothing styles, He still wore the same clothes that I associated with fantasy movies and historical documentaries that you watch in social class.

Including those three, whom I vaguely recognized from the painting in Carlisle's study, there were nine vampires standing in the room. Nine pairs of red eyes watched us as we slowly entered.

"Masters," Joel said, nodding to the three in the chairs. "May I present the Coven of the Olympic peninsula." He glanced at me with as much disdain as he had shown the human receptionist and added, "And... guest."

"Thank you, Joel," said the black haired vampire in the center chair. "Please wait outside."

He nodded and walked back out into the waiting room, the wooden doors slamming shut behind him.

I jumped.

As soon as the doors had shut, the black haired immortal spoke again. "Carlisle, it has been far too long. I'm very glad to see you again." His calm, controlled voice did not match his words

"I've missed you greatly, Arrigo. Marco, Cleo." He nodded to the others in turn and they nodded back.

"I should hope," Arrigo continued, "that your years away from us have not made you forget the law." There was an edge of warning in his voice now and I felt Edward tense.

"Not in the least," Carlisle replied smoothly.

"Don't be a fool," Cleo, the blonde, said rather harshly. "The human knows our secret."

"She won't tell -"

"If I may," Edward interjected, placing a hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

He released me and stepped forward, taking the floor.

"Wait," I squeaked. He couldn't leave me alone in this craziness!

Alice took my wrist in a cold hand. "Don't worry, Bella," she said. "Everything will be fine."

I bit my lip and nodded.

"Your name?" the last vampire, Marco asked.

"Edward Cullen. I was changed by Carlisle in eighteen fifty five and have been living in his coven for the past century and a half."

"Why do you speak for him?"

"Carlisle is has many years over me and I will yield to his experience in almost anything. However, he was not particularly involved in this, let alone responsible. It was I who broke the secret."

What was he doing? Didn't he realize that they would kill him for this? How was that going to help anything?

Cleo frowned. "That law is the only thing keeping our race from extinction. Surely you realize that it cannot be treated lightly. Do you understand that the punishment for revealing yourself to a human is death."

Edward nodded. "I understand the importance of secrecy and if you decide that I must be killed, that is your right. However, I would like to make it clear that I would not have revealed the slightest thing were it not that Bella is my mate."

Everyone in the room was already frozen but it did seem that a still silence descended over the room as those last words left his mouth. Marco's lips tightened and Alice's hand squeezed gently in excitement.

"Alice, wrist!" I hissed.

"Sorry." She dropped my arm but her eyes didn't leave the Volturi.

"Arrigo," Marco said softly, "I'm afraid I must intercede. He could not have done otherwise, not with a mate involved."

"Possibly," Arrigo agreed. "I would, however, like to take a closer look. Chelsea!"

One of the vampires hanging my the wall walked over to the chairs and offered Arrigo her hand. He took it in his and asked, "Edward Cullen, is this human your mate?"

"Yes."

"And did you discuss our kind with her before you were certain of your feelings for her?"

"No."

Arrigo frowned slightly. "That's not entirely true Edward. Explain."

Edward sighed. "I had never felt this kind of feeling before and I hadn't expected to find them for a human. I was uncertain of what I was feeling – and still am. However, I did not tell her anything until I was certain that I could not leave her alone."

Arrigo nodded. "And she has not told anyone?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"You – Bella was your name, was it not? - have you revealed anything about the vampire race?"

"No! I'd never tell anyone. I know you have to stay hidden."

To my surprise, Arrigo frowned. "Interesting," he murmured, almost too quietly for me to hear.

"Would some one like to explain to me what just happened?" I muttered.

"Chelsea can tell when a person is lying," Edward whispered back.

"Very good, Edward. How did you know?"

Edward shrugged."I'm skilled as well. I can read the thoughts of others."

"A telepath. Interesting. Perhaps you can tell me why I get no reading from Ms. Bella."

Edward shrugged again. "We're not entirely sure but I've never been able to read her either."

Arrigo smiled in interest. "I wonder," he said after a moment, and I felt Alice tense beside me. "I wonder if the girl is immune to all of our abilities." Though he didn't continue, his gaze flicked to another of the figures along the rooms wall.

"No," Alice hissed and before any one could say anything, Edward had lunged. He had taken all of three steps before he fell to the floor, shaking.

"What's happening?" I asked frantically to no one in particular.

As I spoke, Edward cried out, his hands clenching into tight fists. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his teeth were gritted against phantom pain.

"Jane!" Arrigo said sharply.

I glanced at the girl by the door who was watching Edward intently with an amused smile on her face. I shuddered as I realized that it was she you was causing the pain.

"Jane, stop this at once. It was merely an errant thought."

there was silence in the room as Jane looked at Arrigo and the smile faded from her face. Edward relaxed slightly and stopped his moaning. Without a thought for the hostile vampires all around me, I ran over to him and took his hands in mine.

"Edward! Edward, are you alright?" When he didn't answer, I glared up at the seat figures in front of me. "What did you do to him?" I asked desperately. I glanced to the Cullens and was shocked and disgusted to see that, though they all appeared concerned, they had stayed where they were.

Cleo smiled faintly. "I'm afraid I must apologize for Jane. She has a tendency to... over react."

_Over react my butt, _I thought. I looked back at Edward, still frantic.

"Don't worry, Bella," Edward croaked softly. "I'll be alright."

"Edward! What happened?"

"Jane creates pain," he explained, a bitter not in his voice. "I couldn't let it happen to you."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "Edward, Don't you ever do that again."

"Hopefully," he said, pushing himself onto one elbow, "I won't have to. That was not one of the most pleasant experiences of my life."

I hugged him tightly and pressed my face into his neck, breathing in his rain and mint smell. "You scared me," I murmured.

Arrigo sighed and rubbed his forehead with one pale hand. 'I can see this is more complicated than I had thought. Perhaps... I would like to speak with Edward and Bella alone. My friends, will you excuse us for a short time?"

"Of course," Marco said tiredly.

"Dicami come ha un sapore," Cleo said with a sly smile and Edward hissed.

"Mente voi stessi, Cleo. È il nostro ospite," Arrigo replied. His voice was humourous – for him – but the threatening edge was back.

Cleo shrugged and subsided.

"What are they talking about?" I asked Edward anxiously. When he didn't respond right away, I eyed Arrigo fearfully and held Edward closer.

"They're discussing you," Edward muttered, slowly rising to his feet and brushing the dust of his torn clothes.

"What about me?" I asked as Arrigo rose from his chair.

Edward gritted his teeth. "Cleo wanted to know what you tasted like.

I stiffened in fear and eyed Arrigo again.

"He doesn't want to kill you, Bella," Edward told me reassuringly. "He's trying to find another solution." Then, impossibly quietly, he added, "And if it comes to that, I'll protect you."

"This way if you will," Arrigo said, gesturing towards a plain door in the shadows behind the columns.

We followed him over and as he invited us in, he caught my arm.

I jumped and tried to keep myself from squirming away from him. He scared me more than Victoria and her ravenous newborns.

"Understand this," he said softly, his voice neither angry nor concerned but the same controlled tone it had been when he first spoke. "I do not want any deaths today, but I will do whatever is necessary."

Then he shut the door behind us.


	18. Proposals

On the other side of the door was a simple study, reminiscent of Carlisle's but with fewer paintings. A plain wooden desk sat on the left corner of the room with a metal lamp and neatly organized writing utensils. There was no computer, but the lighting in this room was electric, unlike everything else in this area of the building.

Arrigo took the seat behind the desk and gestured for us to take the two gray chairs facing it. Nervously, I sat down and held Edward's hand tightly.

Sighing again, Arrigo said, "Really, I'm not quite sure you understand the... gravity of the situation. I don't think you realize how much of your relationship puts all of us in."

_What difference does it make to you? _I thought. _Why do you care if you know who you are if you can just kill us anyway? _To my horror, I realized that at least part of my thought had been voice.

Arrigo's mouth twisted in... humour? Anger? This man had no emotion – or at least, what little he did have was kept locked tight.

"I appreciate you confidence in us, Ms. Bella, but I assure you that we are hardly invulnerable to humans, for all that we... feed on them."

I frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Here, the concentration of immortals is rather higher than other places around the world. Over all, I would estimate that there is a total of five or six thousand vampires across the globe. There are six and a half _billion _humans world wide. If we were revealed to them, they could destroy our species in a night."

It all made sense, but somehow, I'd never imagined that the humans could pose a threat to the vampires. It seemed like a classic case of 'they're just as scared of you as you are of it', except that the only people who found out about vampires tended to become lunch in fairly short order. Except, of course, a few like me – and for all I knew, I would be dead soon, too.

He sighed. "I've seen an entire generation of our kind rise... and fall because of there carelessness. I refuse to let that happen again."

"Arrigo, you have to believe that I would never tell anyone! I understand that you need to stay in hiding."

He smiled without humour. "I wish I could be certain that that were truth, but sadly, you seem to immune to Chelsea's senses. Even if I were sure that you were being honest, humans' minds are less stable than immortals'. You have an annoying tendency to forget or change your mind when it is most inconvenient."

"Do you honestly think I would tell when I know that you would kill me for it?" I asked, trying to hide my fear with disbelief.

"I don't think that you would tell – not intentionally, at least. But should something slip..." he trailed off.

"She is very careful, Arrigo. She would not reveal us," Edward intoned quietly.

"How can you be so sure, Mind-reader, when her thoughts are a mystery to you? Surely you are not with her always."

Edward didn't answer.

"Then it is not enough," Arrigo said softly.

I gritted my teeth and said, "So, instead you'd rather just kill me than risk it."

He raised his eyebrows. "Personally, no. But when the survival of my entire species revolves around secrecy, I cannot afford to show any leniency. This problem must be dealt with – and will be dealt with – in however is best for my kind."

"So why am I more of a risk than any one else here? You people know more about vampires than I do but you've managed to keep them alive just fine. Why not me?"

"They – we, I should say – have a vested interest in maintaining the secret. You on the other hand -"

"Also have an interest in it. I don't want to die – and I certainly don't want Edward to die! I'm not going to let anything slip."

"I'm afraid that your assurance will not satisfy my brothers and I. It is not enough."

I was silent for a long moment and Edward and Arrigo both watched me intently. "Fine," I said softly after almost a minute had passed. "Change me, then." I tried desperately not to let either of them know how much the idea frightened me.

"No," Edward hissed, his hand tightening painfully on mine.

"Your mate does not seem to like that idea," Arrigo murmured, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"It's not his choice," I snapped back. "It's mine. If this is the only way you'll let me live, then change me and leave us alone."

"Bella, no! You don't know what you're asking! How can you want to become a monster?" Edward asked me frantically.

"Shut up," I hissed, glaring at him for a moment.

He glared back for a moment and then looked away in frustration.

"You are clearly Carlisle's son," Arrigo said dryly. "He never could believe that we immortals were not, by nature evil. He seems to have passed that on to you. However, as the girl pointed out, the choice is hers and not yours."

Edward hissed wordlessly but refrained from saying anything.

"In that case," Arrigo said, smiling faintly, " if she agrees -" I nodded quickly "- then I think we may have found an alternative. I must, however, discuss it with my brothers."

As he made to rise, Edward blurted out, "Wait!"

"Yes, Edward?" Arrigo asked patiently.

"She is still young!" Edward explained. "Her disappearance now would be noticed. I request some time – enough for her to become independent of her human relations – before she is... bitten." It was clear that idea didn't please him.

Arrigo frowned. "You may have a year in which to get everything in order, but no more than that. And be sure that it _is _no more. The Volturi do not give second chances."

"As you wish," Edward said politely, but his hand was still tight on mine and his voice quavered slightly.

Arrigo rose and gently straightened his suit jacket. "If you would," he said, gesturing for us to reenter the audience chamber.

Edward and I rose more slowly and walked towards the wooden door nervously.

The scene therein seemed to have changed subtly. Things seemed to have grown tenser while we spoke with Arrigo and the air was thick with anticipation.

The Cullens had grouped closely together in a way that made them seem even more overwhelmed by the situation. Jane, enjoying the fear in the room, was looking at the whole thing with a small smile on her childlike features – really, she couldn't have been more than twelve. The other vampire guards had gathered together against the wall and were watching the scene with clear disinterest, except for one, a young boy, who watched Jane intently from a few meters away.

I hurried over to the relative safety of the Cullens in the center of the room.

"Bella," Alice asked frantically when I came near enough to hear her. "tell me what I'm seeing."

"I..." I shook my head. "Alice, I'm sure they'll explain. I don't really want to talk about it."

She rolled her eyes in frustration and turned to Edward. "Will you tell me what's going on?"

"Bella has come up with an alternative," Edward said through clenched teeth. "They're discussing it now."

We all turned to watch the Volturi.

"La ragazza suggerisce di essere cambiata," Arrigo said to the other two as he took his seat in the center. "Sarà di meno di un rischio che senso"

"Possiamo fidarseli di?" Cleo asked.

"Vederemo durante un anno se facciano come hanno detto che."

"Il rischio sono troppo alti!"

"Abbastanza, Cleo!"

"What are they saying," I asked Edward in a whisper.

"Cleo isn't convinced but I think Arrigo and Marco agree."

"Where did you learn to speak Italian, anyway?" I asked after a moment. "Aren't you from New Orleans or something?"

"Yes, but I don't have to speak Italian to know what they are thinking."

"So you don't speak Italian?"

"Well, actually I do." At my look he explained, "I've had a lot of free time over the past few decades."

I blinked once in surprise and then went back to watching the Volturi anxiously. They spoke for a few minutes that were made longer by the silence in the rest of the room and the disturbing looks Jane kept sending in my direction. I took a step closer to Edward.

Finally, the Volturi were decided. Arrigo stood, and, in a voice that carried across the entire room said. "To resolve this problem, We have decided that the human, Bella, must join us in immortality. You may have a year to do so. If, once that time has passed, she is still human, she will be killed and your coven... dealt with. That will be all."

When he'd finished, he sat down. "I hope that another such meeting will not be necessary, but Carlisle, feel free to visit us – with your coven if you wish – whenever you like. It may have been centuries but I hope I can still count you as a friend."

"Of course," Carlisle replied, but there was a wary not in his voice that made me think he wouldn't be visiting them any time soon.

Arrigo nodded sadly. Clearly he had understood as well. "Felix, please take our guest up to the reception area, and send in Joel. I'd like to have a few words with him."

"Yes, sir," the tall vampire by the wall said in a deep voice. Without a word to us. He walked over to the doors, opened them easily and walked through into the waiting room beyond. As we followed him out, he turned to Joel and said,"They would like to see you." Something in his voice suggested that the the Volturi were not pleased with their Washington representative.

He swallowed and walked into the room and Felix watched him go with an eager smile on his face. Then, still ignoring us, he typed a code into the elevator and stepped in. as it rose, he watched me with that same hungry look that Jane had given me back in the audience chamber.

Unnerved, I stayed close to Edward and did my best to ignore the large vampire next to me.

As we unloaded from the elevator, he got my arm and licked his lips. "Next time, maybe," he said in a voice that made me shudder. Beside me Edward snarled at him and I jerked my arm away.

His face resuming that bored mask, Felix stepped back into the elevator, but he was watching me intently as the doors closed.

"He won't hurt you," Edward assured me, but his voice was tight, as though something was still bothering him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, pulling him to a stop.

"Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot," I snapped. "Just tell me."

He sighed and said, "I don't want you to become a vampire."

"What, so you'd rather I die than be forced to deal with me for the rest of your life?" I asked sarcastically.

"No!" he said. Clearly I'd hit a nerve. "I meant what I said! I love you and nothing would make me happier than if I could spend the rest of my life with you, but -"

So what's the problem?" I asked.

"I... I don't want you to have to sacrifice anything for me."

I put a hand on his cheek. "Edward, getting to live with the man I love for eternity is not a sacrifice, no matter what happens. I know what I'm doing."

"Can we go, now?" Rosalie called from the doorway.

"Way to ruin the moment, Rose," Edward muttered.

I sighed as we started to walk towards the doors. "Do you think she'll ever stop hating me?"

"She doesn't hate you now."

"What do you mean."

"Rosalie is... a lot more complicated than people think."

"Meaning?"

"Did I ever tell you how Rosalie became a vampire?"

"Not in any great detail."

"She was twenty, the daughter of a rich banker in nineteen sixty six. Two weeks before her wedding, her husband raped and beat her and left her for dead on the street." This statement was delivered in such a calm voice that it took me a moment to figure out what he said.

He continued before I could say anything. "Carlisle found her dying and took her to his home to save her if he could. When she woke up as a vampire, she felt like everything about her human life – all her loves and hopes and dreams – had been taken from her." He paused and looked down. "She would give anything to have them back.

"And then you come along – pretty, young, everything she was. And you are so willing to give up all of that. This is very hard for her to deal with."

"Telling her how bad my past was, Edward?" Rosalie asked bitterly as we left. "trying to get her to feel sorry for me?"

"No," he said softly. "I just wanted her to understand."

She shook her head at him and then looked at me, her expression a mix of sadness and anger. "This isn't what I would have chosen," she told me, and then she stepped into the limo that waited in front of the building.

Charlie was less than pleased when I got back to say the least. He was waiting at the airport, glaring at me with all his might.

"You have some explaining to do, missy," he yelled as soon as he spotted me. "No call, no note, just a voice mail from Alice saying that you've gone to Italy – Italy! – and you don't know when you'll be back! D'you want to tell me just what you think you were doing?"

I cringed at his glare and my mind raced, trying to think of something to tell him. You'd think Alice could have said something beforehand... Alice! "Shopping?" I suggested doubtfully.

"Don't you get smart with me, young lady," Charlie said, wagging a finger at me angrily. "You're grounded indefinitely."

"Can you still ground me now that I'm eighteen?" I asked, smiling slightly.

"As long as you're living in my house I can ground you whenever I want! Now go to the car!" he ordered. I nodded meekly and followed him out of the airport.

I couldn't be angry with him for yelling at me – not when I knew that I only had a year left with him. And it was my fault that he was stressed like this. I didn't even care about being grounded except that it meant I probably wouldn't be able to Edward and Jacob.

Jacob. Sigh. I still didn't know what to do about him. It wasn't like I could get back together with him now, even if I wanted to. But that was definitely something that I'd have to handle carefully, especially if Charlie wouldn't let me talk to him. But maybe that was for the best.

The ride home was tense. Charlie yelled at me for the first half and told me that from now on I wasn't allowed to see any one – especially not Edward. After that we rode in silence which was a relief. It gave me time to think.

I had a year left with everyone I knew. This left my with two options. First, I could spend as much time with everyone as I could in the limited time I had left and make it that much harder for them when I 'died', or second, I could distance myself as much as possible to make it easier. Selfishly, I preferred the former but I knew that distance would be best. That would doubtless be the hardest part of the months – and years – to come.

As soon as we arrived at the house, Charlie ordered me to go to my room and again, I did so without arguing. I was too tired.

I jumped when I opened the door and saw Edward sitting on my bed, though I supposed I should have expected it.

"Charlie told me never to darken his door again," Edward said, smiling faintly. "But I think this is alright since I came in through the window."

"Yeah," I agreed. "I think your safe."

He looked around at the room with an odd expression on his face. "I haven't been here in a long time – not since I left."

I nodded. "I missed you a lot, you know."

"Yes. That was... not a good idea."

"No. But you came back and that's what counts."

"Do you know what you're going to do about Jacob?"

I bit my lip. "I think, the best thing to do is to let him deal with it on his own. Maybe he'll move on."

Edward shrugged. "It didn't work with you."

"I know," I said, "I this time I really can't go back. We'd be enemies. It's better this way – less sudden. It's the best a can do, I think." _I hope._

"You're probably right. What about your parents?"

"Same thing, I guess. Graduate, and then slowly fall out of touch -" My throat caught and the rest of my sentence was cut off by the tears welling in my eyes. I pressed my cold fingers against them and tried to calm my ragged breathing but there was no use. Edward came and put his arms around me and I cried into his shoulder for a long time.

He didn't try to tell me that it wasn't as bad as I thought or that everything would be alright. He was honest in this at least and I was grateful. I couldn't just pretend.

"I'll survive," I said finally. "So will every one else." I took a deep breath.

"You don't have to go through with this," he told me.

"Yes I do. They'll kill all of us if I don't. This is best."

He nodded and didn't argue.

I took another deep breath and, when I was sure I could stand on my own, I stepped away from him and wiped my eyes again.

He patted his pocket once, nervously and then said, "Bella, may I ask you something."

"What?" I asked.

"I had thought that we would have more time, but since we don't..." he dropped to his knee and pulled a small box from his pocket. "Will you marry me."

The ring was simple, just a plain gold band. Their was nothing elaborate or gaudy about it, just the elegance of simplicity. It was a reflection of us – no more uncertainties or expectations, just plain, unwavering love.

To stunned and happy to speak, I nodded and, when I had recovered my voice, said, "Yes! Yes!"

He slipped the ring onto my finger and pulled me into a tight embrace, releasing all the love and passion that had been held under tight control since he had returned.

When the kiss ended, a long time later, I looked up at him happily. "I love you," I murmured. _Forever. As long as we both shall live..._


	19. Epilogue

The wolves were drenched in sweat from the heavy run – more for recreation now than for protection since the vampires had been taken care of. The Quileute wolf pack had been left with very little to do. Despite having to be rebroken to be set properly, Jacob's legs and ribs had healed already and he was back to running with the pack.

His heart was taking longer to heal.

Before the fight in the clearing, he had sensed Bella growing distant but at the time he had thought it was nothing. He certainly hadn't expected her to go back to the stupid bloodsucker! She'd hated him!

When he saw her kiss the vampire right there in front of him, he was so desperate to get away, he didn't even care that he could hardly walk. The rest of the wolves had found him later, fallen in the mud of the forest. They had taken him home and made sure that he healed right, but they hadn't been able to do anything about how he felt inside.

It wasn't that they didn't understand how he felt – after all, they spent almost as much time in his head as he did, and even he knew that he was moping more than he should – but none of them were really sympathetic. At least, they didn't seem sympathetic to him.

Leah was the worst, which was understandable given her experience with Sam. But still, was it impossible to do something nice for him every once in a while? It wasn't like he had done anything to deserve this! _He _hadn't left her on her own for five months.

_Get over it, already, _Leah snapped impatiently. _It was months ago. _

_Thanks! You're so sympathetic!_

_You want sympathy when I have to deal with your whining day and night? _

_My whining? You're the one who won't leave any of us alone!_

_Both of you, _shut up_!_ Sam thought at them and they quieted unhappily.

_Seriously, though, Bro, _Embry agreed, _she was just a girl. I'm sure you can find someone else who's willing to date you. You're acting like it's the end of the world._

_Not helping, _Jacob thought back angrily.

_Cool it, guys! _Sam ordered. _This was supposed to be fun. _

_It'd be nice to have some vampire to hunt, _Paul thought, his mind flashing back to the find with the newborns. _Now that was fun._

_What? You getting bored, Paul? _Jared asked pouncing on the other wolf as he spoke.

_I'm betting on Paul, _Quil thought.

_Five bucks says it's Jared,_ Embry disagreed. _Paul's had four months with no practice._

_You're on!_

Jacob shook his furry head, tired of the inane chatter tunning through it. He didn't want to run right now. He wanted to talk to Bella but she hadn't spoken to him since she got back from Italy.

_Boys, _Leah thought, rolling her eyes, _Has it occurred to you that maybe she doesn't want to talk to you?_

Jacob howled angrily and dashed to the edge of the woods phasing as he ran. As soon as he'd shed his wolf form, he was relieved by the silence in his head. The privacy.

He kept running until he found his stash of clothes, right where he'd left it by the edge of the woods. Then he sighed. He was at his house – not where he want to be right now. He wanted to be alone somewhere quiet – somewhere where he could think and work things out uninterrupted. This wasn't it.

He froze as he heard light footsteps behind him. "Go away, Leah," he said tiredly. "I don't want to talk to you."

Ignoring him, Leah shifted quickly and donned a t-shirt and shorts – much too big on her. Jacob turned his back on her giving her some privacy while she clothed herself.

"I'm not too thrilled either," she snapped once she'd finished. "I just wanted to apologize."

Jacob raised his eyebrows. "You? Apologize? Since when to you care about stuff like that?"

"Oh, grow up!"

"Fine. I accept. Now will you leave me alone?" He knew he wasn't being fair to her but she was the last person he wanted to talk to right now.

"Will you stop moping?"

"Go away!" he yelled. He was a strong wolf, a dominant, and his control slipped with that outburst. She cringed slightly as his power washed over her but she didn't leave. She was tough.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I want to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you!" Jacob snapped.

"Tough," she told him, glaring at him.

"Fine! If I listen will you go away?"

"Yes," she said sharply.

He folded his arms over his chest. "I'm listening."

"You're not the only one who's gone through this, you know. Other people have lost things, other people have made sacrifices."

"Look," Jacob said, "don't whine to me about your problems I've got plenty of my own."

"Maybe you should practice what you preach, Jake." Somehow she made his name an insult. "Do you ever thing that the rest of us get tired of having your constant pathetic whining our heads? I don't care how hard this is for you! Deal with it and move on!"

"You're one to talk," Jacob muttered.

She swallowed tightly as though the subject was painful for her but her voice was still angry as she spoke again. "At least I've admitted it's over," she said tightly.

They glared at each other for a long moment.

"Thanks for the talk," Jacob said sarcastically as he turned towards the house. "We should to it again some time."

For all that he didn't like Leah and didn't want to talk to her, she'd given him a lot to think about. He knew, although he didn't want to admit it, that he was being a pain to the other members of the pack. He knew that it was time he stopped moping and moved on, but he felt like as soon as he did that, it would be over for sure. Then there was no way she'd come back.

In his head he knew that she wasn't coming back, but his heart told him that as long as he kept holding on, the was hope.

Billy was clearly surprised when Jacob came in through the front door. Jacob wasn't supposed to be back for a few more hours.

"Hey, Jake," he called. "You hungry?"

"No, Jacob replied, more harshly than he'd meant to.

"You got some mail," his father told him. The letter's on the table."

Confused Jacob walked over to the kitchen table and picked up the heavy white envelope that sat there. His name was written on the front in Bella's messy writing and he opened it eagerly. It had been so long since he'd heard anything from her that this was cause for excitement.

It read:

Jacob,

I've really missed you. I hope it hasn't been to hard on you because I know it was hard for me. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through and everything I'm about to put you through, so brace yourself.

First, the Volturi in Italy have decided that I have to be turned into a vampire in less than a year or they'll kill me. Don't worry, I'm okay with it now. It definitely took some getting use to though. That's part of the reason I haven't been talking to you. I didn't want to get too close when I knew that we'd have to stop seeing each other as soon as I've become a vampire. It's hard to believe that soon we'll be enemies.

The other reason is that I'm back with Edward – but you probably guessed that after what happened in the clearing. What you didn't know is that, now, I'm engaged. Before you start blaming Edward and the rest of the Cullens, this was my choice. I wasn't manipulated into anything. Not even leaving you.

I wish I could say we'll still be friends – I really do – but I can't even say that because I'm going to become a vampire in nine months. If you hate me, I understand. All I can say is don't wait for me. Find someone else and be happy with them.

But as one last favour to me, you're invited to my wedding as my man of honour

The rest of the letter was cut off as the paper fell from his hands. He was shaking violently and he felt the heat of the change beginning to wash over him.

"Jake?" Billy asked, then, alarmed now, "Jake, what's wrong."

He didn't answer, just sprinted for the door. He stumbled as he switched from two legs to four and it took a few aggravating seconds to rid himself of his clothes, but then he took off again, running as fast as he could.

_Jake, you're back, _Quil thought before he tasted the emotions driving his friend.

_What happened? _Sam asked, concerned. There was silence as they saw what had happened in my head, even from Leah.

_Where are you going? _Embry asked.

Jacob didn't answer. He wasn't planning on going anywhere where they could reach him.

_Jake, come back here! _Paul ordered at the same time that Quil thought, _wait up!_

_Let him go, _Sam told them.

_Like hell we will, _Embry told him. The sentiment was echoed by a few of the other wolves.

Jacob supposed he should have felt flattered. He didn't he just felt... overwhelmed. He kept running.

_Wait for us, _Quil thought.

_Slow down!_

_Let him _go_! _Sam told them, an order this time.

Reluctantly, the wolves fell back. Jacob wondered why Sam didn't order him to come back, and then wondered if it would have worked if he had.

_Come on, Jake, don't go._

_Yeah, com back! We can talk!_

Jacob shook his head trying to clear it, and let the wolf take over. His paws pounded against the earth, driving up the damp soil. The breeze rustled his fur. The prey hid as they heard him approach.

In a faint corner of his mind, Jacob heard an unexpected voice whisper, _Come back. _


End file.
